Pioneer Counseling Blog

Navigating Change in 2026 with Resilience and Hope

Sat, 03 Jan 2026 23:56:50 GMT

January invites reflection.

In 2026, whether you’re a clinician supporting others or a client investing in your own healing, one truth remains constant: change is inevitable—but growth is intentional. The way we engage with change shapes outcomes more than the change itself.

While mental health frameworks, technologies, and conversations continue to evolve, the core of healing remains deeply human—rooted in connection, meaning, and courage.

The Bigger Picture: A Need That’s Real, and Hopeful

Mental health challenges are widespread, yet the story does not end there.

Globally, over 1 billion people live with a mental health condition. In the United States, nearly 1 in 4 adults experienced a mental health concern in the past year. At the same time, recent data shows improvements in youth mental health, including reductions in major depressive episodes and suicidal ideation.

These numbers tell a dual story: the need is significant, and progress is possible.

For Clinicians: Where Science Meets Presence

We practice at the intersection of evidence and empathy.

Recent trends show that more than half of adults with mental health conditions are now receiving treatment, and nearly 70% of individuals with serious mental illness are accessing care. Additionally, close to nine out of ten people who engage in therapy report meaningful improvements in their lives.

What this reinforces in 2026:

Evidence-based modalities matter, but how they are delivered matters just as much.

Emotional safety is not optional; it is foundational.

Small, often quiet gains are still powerful indicators of change.

Progress does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like a client naming an emotion more clearly, setting a boundary, or returning after a difficult week. These moments count.

For Clients: Your Healing Is Not a Performance

If you are in therapy, or considering it, these truths are worth holding onto this year:

You are not behind. Healing has no universal timeline.

Your voice matters. Therapy works best when your values and lived experience shape the process.

Progress is rarely linear. Growth often includes pauses, detours, and revisiting old ground with new insight.

Therapy is not about becoming a different person. It is about becoming more fully yourself.

The data supports this: the vast majority of people who engage in counseling report improvements in confidence, emotional regulation, and overall well-being.

A Shared Journey Forward

Clinicians and clients are not on opposite sides of the work, we are collaborators in a shared human process.

Hope in 2026 is not blind optimism. It is grounded in effort, connection, and skill-building. It shows up in sessions that feel hard but honest, in moments of insight that arrive quietly, and in the courage to keep showing up.

As this year unfolds, may healing feel attainable, growth feel sustainable, and change feel less overwhelming.

One intentional step at a time.

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a TIC lens.

DBT Nightmare Protocol

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 25 Mar 2023 16:20:29 GMT

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the 1980s to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD). DBT combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and emphasizes acceptance and validation of intense emotions. It involves weekly individual and group therapy sessions, where individuals learn specific skills related to mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. DBT has since been adapted to treat a range of mental health conditions and is recognized as an evidence-based treatment.

DBT has been proven effective in treating a wide range of mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, substance abuse, and eating disorders. One of the key components of DBT is the use of specific protocols to address common issues that clients may experience. One of these protocols is the DBT Nightmare Protocol, which is designed to help individuals who are experiencing recurring nightmares.

Nightmares are a common experience for many people, and they can be particularly distressing for individuals who have experienced trauma. In fact, nightmares are a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and they can be a significant barrier to healing for individuals who are struggling with this condition. The DBT Nightmare Protocol was developed to help these individuals manage their nightmares and reduce their overall distress.

The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a 10-week protocol that is designed to help individuals learn to manage their nightmares through a combination of behavioral strategies and cognitive techniques. The protocol is typically conducted in a group setting, although it can also be done on an individual basis. The following is an overview of the different components of the DBT Nightmare Protocol.

Week 1: Psychoeducation

The first week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is dedicated to psychoeducation. During this week, the therapist will provide information about nightmares and the impact they can have on mental health. Clients will also learn about the common triggers for nightmares and the different ways in which nightmares can be managed.

Week 2: Sleep Hygiene

During the second week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about sleep hygiene. This includes information about the importance of getting enough sleep, as well as strategies for improving sleep quality. Clients will also learn about the relationship between sleep and nightmares, and they will be provided with specific strategies for reducing the frequency and intensity of their nightmares.

Week 3: Imagery Rehearsal Therapy

Imagery rehearsal therapy (IRT) is a technique that is commonly used to treat nightmares. During the third week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about IRT and how it can be used to reduce the frequency and intensity of nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice IRT techniques with the guidance of their therapist.

In IRT, your therapist first provides you with background information on sleep and nightmares to "set the scene" for learning to manage them. Then, working with your therapist, you create detailed, nonfrightening endings for nightmares you've had repeatedly. Write down and rehearse the nightmares with the new endings. Learn how to monitor your nightmares so you know how well your IRT treatment is working. The goal is to "reprogram" your nightmares to be less terrifying if and when they occur again.

Week 4: Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a key component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fourth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about mindfulness and how it can be used to manage anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares.

Week 5: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a relaxation technique that involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body. This technique can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fifth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about PMR and how it can be used to reduce the intensity of nightmares.

Week 6: Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a technique that is used to challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs. During the sixth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about cognitive restructuring and how it can be used to challenge negative beliefs and thoughts that contribute to nightmares. People sometimes experience distorted thinking. Thought patterns that create an unhealthy perspective of reality. Cognitive distortions often lead to depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and self-defeating behaviors.

Examples of cognitive distortions include:

black-and-white thinking

catastrophizing

overgeneralizing

personalizing

Cognitive restructuring allows you to notice these maladaptive thoughts as they’re occurring. And then practice reframing these thoughts in more accurate ways. During this step, you will question your assumptions, gather evidence by self-monitoring on a daily basis, and perform cost-benefit various analyses.

If you can change how you look at certain events or circumstances, your feelings and the actions you take may also change.

Week 7: Graded Exposure

Graded exposure is a technique that involves gradually exposing oneself to a feared situation or object. During the seventh week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about graded exposure and how it can be used to reduce the fear associated with nightmares.

Week 8: Relaxation Training

Relaxation training is a technique that involves teaching individuals to relax their bodies and minds. During the eighth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about relaxation training and how it can be used to reduce anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice relaxation techniques with the guidance of their therapist.

Week 9: Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is an important component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who have experienced trauma. During the ninth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about self-compassion and how it can be used to reduce self-criticism and self-blame associated with nightmares.

Week 10: Relapse Prevention

The final week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is focused on relapse prevention. During this week, clients will learn about the different strategies they can use to maintain the progress they have made in managing their nightmares. They will also be encouraged to develop a plan for how they will continue to manage their nightmares after the end of the protocol.

The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a comprehensive and effective approach to managing nightmares. By incorporating a range of behavioral and cognitive strategies, clients are able to learn the skills they need to reduce the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. If you are experiencing nightmares, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who is trained in DBT to see if the DBT Nightmare Protocol is right for you.

Unsure about adapting DBT into your framework?

-A randomized controlled trial of DBT for suicidal and self-injuring individuals with BPD found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors (Linehan et al., 2006).

-A meta-analysis of 11 randomized controlled trials of DBT for individuals with BPD found that DBT was effective in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors, as well as other symptoms of BPD, such as depression and anxiety (Kliem et al., 2010).

-A randomized controlled trial of DBT for individuals with binge eating disorder found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing binge eating and improving eating disorder-related attitudes and behaviors (Safer et al., 2010).

-A review of 17 studies of DBT for individuals with substance use disorders found that DBT was effective in reducing substance use and improving overall functioning (Linehan et al., 2002).

Overall, research suggests that DBT is an effective treatment for a range of mental health conditions, including BPD, eating disorders, substance use disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is worth noting that the effectiveness of DBT can vary depending on individual factors, such as the severity of symptoms and the level of treatment adherence.

Perhaps you are a private practice in the mental health industry, or maybe a large agency trying to get your clinicians on the same page regarding Trauma Informed Care. Consider the Pioneer Counseling Trauma Informed Care Psychotherapy Tx Planner. It really is more than a tx planner, it is a guide and a point of reference.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ9FWFMT?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_0MKBDBQ5PRD8G8NBEJ0B

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Understanding Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 25 Mar 2023 16:17:18 GMT

Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development is a widely accepted and highly regarded framework for understanding human development from infancy to old age. Erikson believed that individuals go through eight distinct stages of development, each with its unique set of psychosocial challenges and opportunities. In this article, we will explore each of Erikson's stages of psychosocial development and discuss ways to utilize this model in mental health counseling sessions.

Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust (Birth to 18 Months)

The first stage of psychosocial development occurs from birth to 18 months. At this stage, infants learn to trust or mistrust their environment and caregivers based on how their needs are met. If their needs are consistently met with warmth, comfort, and care, they develop a sense of trust in the world. Conversely, if their needs are neglected or met inconsistently, they may develop a sense of mistrust.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's essential to establish a safe and nurturing environment to build trust with clients. As a therapist, it's crucial to show warmth, empathy, and non-judgmental support. By providing a safe and caring environment, clients can begin to build trust and feel comfortable opening up.

Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (18 Months to 3 Years)

During this stage, toddlers begin to develop a sense of autonomy and independence. They want to do things on their own and assert their independence. If caregivers encourage this behavior, toddlers develop a sense of autonomy. Conversely, if caregivers are overly restrictive or critical, toddlers may develop shame and doubt about their abilities.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to acknowledge clients' need for autonomy and independence. Encourage clients to make their own decisions and take charge of their lives. Help them explore their strengths and abilities and provide positive reinforcement to build their confidence.

Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt (3 to 6 Years)

During this stage, children begin to explore their world and develop a sense of initiative. They want to try new things and take on new challenges. If caregivers support and encourage this behavior, children develop a sense of initiative. Conversely, if caregivers are overly critical or dismissive, children may develop a sense of guilt.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to help clients explore new possibilities and take on new challenges. Encourage them to set goals and work towards achieving them. Help them develop a sense of accomplishment and pride in their achievements.

Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority (6 to 12 Years)

During this stage, children begin to develop a sense of industry and competence. They want to learn new skills and take on more significant challenges. If caregivers support and encourage this behavior, children develop a sense of industry. Conversely, if caregivers are overly critical or dismissive, children may develop a sense of inferiority.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to help clients develop a sense of competence and achievement. Encourage them to explore new skills and interests, and provide positive reinforcement for their efforts. Help them develop a sense of pride and accomplishment in their achievements.

Stage 5: Identity vs. Role Confusion (12 to 18 Years)

During this stage, adolescents begin to explore their identity and establish a sense of self. They try on different roles and experiment with different behaviors to discover who they are. If caregivers support and encourage this behavior, adolescents develop a sense of identity. Conversely, if caregivers are overly critical or dismissive, adolescents may experience role confusion and a lack of direction.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to help clients explore their identity and develop a sense of self. Encourage them to explore their interests and passions, and help them identify their values and beliefs. Assist them in developing a sense of direction and purpose in life. Validate their experiences and provide a supportive environment for them to express themselves.

Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation (18 to 40 Years)

During this stage, young adults begin to establish intimate relationships with others. They seek emotional and physical connections with others and form lasting bonds. If young adults are successful in developing these relationships, they experience intimacy. If they fail to establish these connections, they may feel isolated and alone.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to help clients develop healthy and meaningful relationships with others. Provide support and guidance in navigating the challenges of intimate relationships. Encourage clients to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and practice self-care.

Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation (40 to 65 Years)

During this stage, middle-aged adults begin to focus on their contribution to society and the next generation. They seek to make a positive impact on the world and leave a lasting legacy. If they are successful in these endeavors, they experience generativity. If they fail to make a meaningful contribution, they may feel a sense of stagnation.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to help clients explore their values, passions, and goals. Encourage them to find ways to make a positive impact on their community and the world. Assist them in developing a sense of purpose and fulfillment in their lives.

Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair (65 Years and Older)

During this stage, older adults reflect on their lives and seek to find meaning and purpose in their experiences. They may experience a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment if they have lived a meaningful life. Alternatively, they may experience despair if they feel that their life has been wasted.

Counseling Application: In therapy, it's crucial to help clients reflect on their lives and find meaning and purpose in their experiences. Encourage them to focus on their strengths and accomplishments and find ways to continue to make a positive impact on the world. Provide support and guidance in navigating the challenges of aging and help them find ways to maintain their independence and quality of life.

Erikson's theory of psychosocial development provides a comprehensive framework for understanding human development across the lifespan. By understanding the challenges and opportunities of each stage, mental health therapists can provide tailored interventions to support clients' growth and development. Utilizing this model in therapy sessions can help clients develop a sense of self-awareness, purpose, and fulfillment in their lives.

Erikson's theory proposes that at each stage of life, individuals face a specific psychosocial crisis that must be resolved in order to progress to the next stage. When individuals successfully resolve the crisis, they develop a specific virtue or strength that enables them to navigate future challenges.

Here are the virtues attained from each stage:

Trust vs. Mistrust (Birth to 18 months) - The virtue of hope: If infants receive consistent and responsive care from their caregivers, they develop a sense of trust in the world around them. This trust allows them to feel hopeful and optimistic about the future.

Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (18 months to 3 years) - The virtue of will : If toddlers are encouraged to explore their environment and make choices for themselves, they develop a sense of autonomy and independence. This allows them to develop a strong sense of will and self-control.

Initiative vs. Guilt (3 to 6 years) - The virtue of purpose : If young children are encouraged to take initiative and explore their environment, they develop a sense of purpose and direction in life. This allows them to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in their achievements.

Industry vs. Inferiority (6 to 12 years) - The virtue of competence : If children are encouraged to master new skills and succeed in academic and social endeavors, they develop a sense of competence and confidence. This allows them to feel capable and successful in future endeavors.

Identity vs. Role Confusion (12 to 18 years) - The virtue of fidelity: If adolescents successfully navigate the challenge of developing a sense of identity, they develop a sense of fidelity or loyalty to themselves and others. This allows them to develop a clear sense of values and beliefs that guide their decision-making in adulthood.

Intimacy vs. Isolation (18 to 40 years) - The virtue of love : If young adults are successful in developing meaningful and intimate relationships with others, they develop a sense of love and connection. This allows them to form lasting bonds with others and experience deep emotional fulfillment.

Generativity vs. Stagnation (40 to 65 years) - The virtue of care : If middle-aged adults are successful in making a positive contribution to society and the next generation, they develop a sense of care and concern for others. This allows them to feel fulfilled and satisfied with their accomplishments.

Integrity vs. Despair (65 years and older) - The virtue of wisdom : If older adults reflect on their lives and find meaning and purpose in their experiences, they develop a sense of wisdom and acceptance. This allows them to feel at peace with their life's journey and to share their insights with future generations.

By developing these virtues, individuals are better equipped to navigate the challenges of life and to find fulfillment and purpose in their experiences. Mental health therapists can help clients develop these virtues by providing guidance and support as they navigate each stage of development.

Regression is a common phenomenon that occurs when individuals revert to earlier patterns of behavior or thought in response to stress, anxiety, or other challenges. When individuals regress, they may exhibit symptoms that are typical of earlier stages of development, even if they have already progressed through those stages. Here are some common symptoms related to regression:

Withdrawal : Individuals who regress may withdraw from social situations, become isolated, and avoid social interactions.

Tantrums : Regression may manifest as temper tantrums or outbursts of emotion that are typical of earlier developmental stages.

Sleep disturbances : Regression may cause sleep disturbances, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, nightmares, or night terrors.

Regression in daily habits : Clients may stop doing things they were previously able to do, such as brushing their teeth, taking showers or dressing themselves.

Regression in communication: Clients may use baby talk or simple language or lose their vocabulary altogether.

Anxiety : Regression can cause anxiety or fear related to a particular situation or object, such as separation anxiety or fear of the dark.

Helplessness : Clients may feel helpless and dependent, expecting others to do everything for them.

For example, a client who is struggling with intimacy in their relationships may regress to stage 5 (Identity vs. Role Confusion) and struggle with developing a sense of self. This can prevent them from successfully navigating stage 6 (Intimacy vs. Isolation) and developing meaningful connections with others. If left unresolved, the client may continue to struggle with intimacy and become stuck in earlier stages of development.

I n post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), regression is often seen as a way for the client to cope with the traumatic experience. A study found that 53% of patients with PTSD experienced symptoms of regression, such as avoidance or withdrawal.

Similarly, a study on depression found that 42% of patients exhibited regressive behavior, such as clinging to others or exhibiting temper tantrums. In borderline personality disorder, regression is seen as a maladaptive coping mechanism that can lead to impulsive or self-destructive behaviors.

I t's important for mental health therapists to be aware of these common symptoms related to regression and to help clients overcome them in therapy. By addressing regression, therapists can help clients progress through each stage of development and develop the virtues associated with each stage, leading to greater personal growth and fulfillment. It's essential for therapists to recognize when clients are regressing and provide support and guidance to help them move forward. Here are some ways therapists can help clients overcome regression:

Validate the Client's Experience: It's important for therapists to acknowledge and validate the client's feelings and experiences. This can help build trust and provide a safe space for the client to express themselves.

2. Help Clients Identify Triggers: Identifying triggers that cause clients to regress can help them anticipate and prepare for potential setbacks. This can help clients develop coping mechanisms and prevent them from becoming stuck in earlier stages.

3. Encourage Clients to Practice Self-Care: Encouraging clients to practice self-care can help them manage stress and anxiety that can lead to regression. This can include activities such as exercise, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques.

4. Provide Tools for Growth: Providing clients with tools and techniques to manage stress and anxiety can help them progress through each stage of development. This can include cognitive-behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and other evidence-based interventions.

By addressing regression in therapy, therapists can help clients overcome obstacles and progress through each stage of development, developing the virtues associated with each stage. This can help clients live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, and achieve a sense of self-awareness and personal growth.

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Zero Suicide: A Model to Live By

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 16:40:47 GMT

Suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, with a rate of 14.0 suicides per 100,000 people in 2020.

Suicide rates have been increasing in recent years: The CDC reports that suicide rates in the United States have been increasing since 1999, with the highest rate recorded in 2020.

Access to mental health services is a key factor in preventing suicide: Studies have shown that access to mental health services can play a critical role in preventing suicide. However, only about half of individuals in the United States with a mental illness receive treatment, which can lead to a higher risk of suicide. Improving access to mental health services, especially for those at high risk of suicide, is a key factor in reducing the rate of suicide.

This past year, I have had the opportunity to receive extensive training in the Zero Suicide Model, as well as join a Zero Suicide Collaborative! Yes, these exist!

The Zero Suicide Model is a comprehensive approach to suicide prevention in healthcare organizations. It is based on the idea that suicide deaths for individuals under the care of health systems are preventable, and it aims to reduce the number of suicide deaths through a combination of clinical, organizational, and cultural changes. The Zero Suicide Institute is a non-profit organization that provides training, resources, and technical assistance to healthcare organizations to implement the Zero Suicide Model.

This Model is an evidence-based approach that has been shown to reduce suicide deaths in health systems. It consists of seven key components: leadership commitment, clinical best practices, a suicide care management team, data-driven quality improvement, suicide risk assessment, and safety planning, employee training and cultural competence, and ongoing evaluation and improvement.

Leadership commitment is essential to the success of the Zero Suicide Model. The organization's leadership must make a public commitment to the prevention of suicide deaths and create an infrastructure to support the implementation of the model. This includes ensuring that the resources and support are in place for the staff to implement the model effectively.

Clinical best practices are an important component of the Zero Suicide Model. This includes evidence-based assessments, risk stratification, and evidence-based treatments for those at risk of suicide. It is essential for healthcare organizations to provide their staff with the training and resources they need to effectively assess and treat individuals at risk of suicide.

The Zero Suicide Model also includes a suicide care management team, which is responsible for ensuring that all patients at risk of suicide receive appropriate care. This team should include individuals from various departments, such as psychiatry, nursing, social work, and primary care. The team should also have the resources and support they need to effectively coordinate care for patients at risk of suicide.

Data-driven quality improvement is a crucial component of the Zero Suicide Model. This involves regularly collecting and analyzing data to monitor the effectiveness of the model and identify areas for improvement. The data should be used to inform clinical decision-making and guide the development of new best practices for suicide prevention.

Suicide risk assessment and safety planning are critical components of the Zero Suicide Model. All patients at risk of suicide should receive a comprehensive assessment to determine their level of risk and develop a safety plan to reduce that risk. This safety plan should include information on warning signs, coping strategies, and the steps to take in the event of a crisis.

Employee training and cultural competence are also important components of the Zero Suicide Model. All staff, including those who may not work directly with patients, should receive training on suicide prevention and risk assessment. This training should help staff understand the warning signs of suicide, how to respond to a crisis, and how to provide appropriate referrals for those at risk of suicide.

Finally, ongoing evaluation and improvement are essential to the success of the Zero Suicide Model. Regular evaluations should be conducted to monitor the effectiveness of the model and identify areas for improvement. This feedback should be used to make ongoing improvements to the model, to ensure that it remains effective in reducing the number of suicide deaths.

Consider these action steps in confronting suicide prevention in your agency or practice:

1) Integrative in-depth charting that showcases the golden thread regarding suicide prevention. A data-driven system that showcases comparative charts. How many clients indicated having suicidal hx, or suicidal ideation? Of these, how many received a safety plan? Of those, how many clients indicated utilizing said safety plan? Collectively, how many were assessed within sessions at each session for suicidality? This data-driven approach will help bring to light any gaps that may exist systematically.

2) Consider surveying your agency annually and upon hire. How many of your workforce know how to respond if another staff, a stakeholder, or a client presents signs of suicidality? For a long time, suicidality has been seen as a personal concept not to be discussed. This Model suggests the opposite. Suicide is a community disruptor, and thus it is everyone’s responsibility. You may be surprised at your findings. Connecting training completion numbers will also give you a sense of security knowing your agency is on the same page regarding suicide prevention.

3) Incident Reporting monitoring for charting EMS and Hospitalizations. Indicating how many are related directly to suicidality.

4) Collaboration with staff/ teams in developing effective/evidence-based responses to suicidality. These are to be constructed as action steps within the incident reports themselves. Mitigation both from a formal lens, and a 1x1 approach.

5) Incorporating accessibility to mental health services (even if they are not through you or your agency) after hours 24/7. Accessible care does not always mean it must be territorial care- you can not be all things to all people all of the time. Consider a variety of tools/ hotlines/ apps/ community centers/ private practices as means to equip the client.

In the most recent Zero Suicide Collaborative meeting, we discussed IFS- internal family systems, as well as the development/ implementation of Peer-Led Suicide Prevention groups. Derek Vaughn from the Gibson center in Cape Girardeau Missouri reflected on their groups called the 988 group.

We viewed resources like the following:

https://drexel.edu/familyintervention/abft-training-program/abft-training/Self%20Paced%20Course/

https://didihirsch.org/download-best-practices-manuals-toolkits/

We even had a rep from the Missouri Department of Mental Health (DMH)/ Casey Muckler, showcase a new magazine type resources rolling out to schools! See below

https://www.flipsnack.com/pathtomysuccessprograms/988_guide-for-schools/full-view.html

In conclusion, the Zero Suicide Model is a comprehensive approach to suicide prevention that has been shown to be effective in reducing the number of suicide deaths in health systems. The Zero Suicide Institute provides training, resources, and technical assistance to healthcare organizations to implement the model effectively. By implementing the Zero Suicide Model, healthcare organizations can play a critical role in preventing suicide deaths and improving the lives of individuals at risk of suicide.

Navigating Common Difficulties in Counseling: Strategies and Statistics for Success

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 16:38:54 GMT

As a licensed professional counselor, I have had the opportunity to work with a diverse range of clients who have presented with a variety of difficulties. While each person's experience is unique, there are certain difficulties that are commonly encountered in counseling. In this blog post, I will discuss some of the most common difficulties clients face and provide strategies for addressing them, including statistics that support the prevalence of these difficulties.

1. Difficulty in building trust and rapport with the therapist: Building a therapeutic relationship is the foundation of effective counseling, yet some clients may struggle to trust the therapist or feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. This can be especially true for those who have had negative experiences in therapy in the past, or those who have difficulty trusting others in general. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, about 15% of clients drop out of therapy within the first three sessions, with lack of trust in the therapist being one of the primary reasons cited. To address this, therapists can work to create a safe and non-judgmental space for clients, actively listen and validate their experiences, and clearly communicate the therapeutic process and boundaries.

2. Difficulty in identifying and expressing emotions: Many clients may struggle to understand and communicate their emotions, which can make it difficult to process and make sense of their experiences. According to a study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, emotional expressiveness is positively related to better therapeutic outcomes. To address this, therapists can help clients develop an emotional vocabulary and provide strategies for identifying and expressing emotions in a healthy way.

3. Difficulty in setting and achieving goals: Setting and achieving goals can be challenging for clients who may feel overwhelmed or lack motivation. According to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, goal-setting is positively related to better therapeutic outcomes. To address this, therapists can work with clients to set realistic and achievable goals and provide tools and strategies for overcoming obstacles and staying on track.

4. Difficulty in managing stress and anxiety: Stress and anxiety can be overwhelming for many clients, and can make it difficult for them to function in their daily lives. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in the United States, affecting 40 million adults in the U.S age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. To address this, therapists can teach clients coping strategies such as mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and cognitive-behavioral therapy to help them manage these feelings in a healthy way.

5. Difficulty in overcoming past traumas: Past traumas can have a significant impact on a person's present and future, and can lead to a variety of difficulties such as anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. According to the National Center for PTSD, about 8% of the U.S population will have PTSD at some point in their lives. To address this, therapists can use a variety of evidence-based techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, EMDR, and other trauma-focused therapies to help clients process and heal from their experiences.

While these are some of the most common difficulties clients face in counseling, it is important to note that each person's experience is unique and may require a tailored approach. As a licensed professional counselor, I work collaboratively with clients to identify their specific needs and develop an individualized plan to address them. With the right support and strategies, clients can make meaningful progress in their journey toward healing and growth.

As with any field, you might be new to, there are helpful reads you can pick up! Guides, books, workbooks! Read through the below list for 5 helpful book resources as you enter the counseling field!

"The Counseling Practicum and Internship Manual: A Resource for Graduate Counseling Students" by Shannon Hodges. This is a comprehensive guide for graduate counseling students and new counselors, providing practical information and strategies for successfully navigating the counseling practicum and internship experience. It covers topics such as developing therapeutic relationships, understanding the counseling process, and addressing ethical and legal issues.

"The Handbook of Clinical Techniques in Child and Adolescent Therapy" edited by Thomas Ollendick and Michel Hersen. This book is a comprehensive resource for counselors working with children and adolescents, providing a wide range of evidence-based techniques and strategies for addressing common mental health issues. It covers topics such as anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems, and includes chapters on specific populations such as children with autism and those who have experienced trauma.

"The Skilled Helper" by Gerard Egan. This classic text provides a comprehensive overview of the counseling process, including the skills and strategies needed to be an effective counselor. It covers topics such as building rapport, active listening, and goal-setting, and provides practical examples and exercises for developing these skills.

"Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: Basics and Beyond" by Judith Beck. This book is a comprehensive guide to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), one of the most widely used and evidence-based therapies in counseling. It covers the basics of CBT and provides strategies for addressing a wide range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and relationship problems.

"Introduction to Addictions and Substance Abuse Counseling" by David Capuzzi and Mark D. Stauffer. This book is a comprehensive introduction to the field of addictions and substance abuse counseling. It covers the basics of substance abuse, the impact of addiction on individuals and families, and the most effective treatment strategies for addressing addiction. It also includes information about the ethical and legal issues involved in the field.

These books can provide a solid foundation of knowledge and practical techniques for licensed professional counselors starting new in the field, helping them navigate the counseling process effectively. It is important to stay up to date with new research and developments in the field. Additionally, it is also important to seek out supervision and mentorship from experienced counselors to gain additional guidance and support.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ9FWFMT?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_0MKBDBQ5PRD8G8NBEJ0B

Trauma Informed Care Psychotherapy Tx Planner Workbook

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 16:36:06 GMT

If you have been in the mental health field at all, you have probably picked up on the fact that therapy and counseling are personal. Thus trauma is personal. Throughout our field, we learn to celebrate small wins along the way.

• Approximately 70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives. (Source: National Institute of Mental Health, 2020)

• About 20% of these adults will go on to develop PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder. (Source: National Institute of Mental Health, 2020)

• Nearly 4 million adults have PTSD in a given year. (Source: National Institute of Mental Health, 2020)

• Women are twice as likely to develop PTSD as men. (Source: National Institute of Mental Health, 2020)

• Approximately 59% of men and 51% of women have experienced at least one traumatic event in their lifetime. (Source: National Center for PTSD, 2020)

• Over 20 million adults in the United States suffer from some type of mental illness in a given year. (Source: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2020)

• Approximately 8 million adults are affected by serious psychological distress or major depression in any given year. (Source: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2020)

• Approximately 8.7% of Americans reported having PTSD at some point in their life. (Source: National Center

The sustainability of TIC must be an active role we take in our industry, whether through movements or committees. Some of us might send Monthly newsletters in our organizations or even write consistent articles on TIC. Various agencies have built Comfort Rooms into their programs. Crisis stabilization Units have leaned on TIC committees to help with the development of programming and even design! These are just a few examples of tangible change.

It can be truly hard to keep staff engaged in conceptualization in TIC when they do not see tangible physical components.I was recently in a TIC committee group where this was shared

“Data persuades, Stories inspire.”

People remember stories. These become teaching tools. Newsletters are not always about the content, but perhaps just the story itself. Could the story itself be plenty to bring impact?

At this point, for most agencies “All staff” are trained in TIC principles and practices. The idea is to have the best standards presented on large scale without missing the personal component.

Here are a few elements to consider in orientating your staff on TIC.

Define Trauma

Realize - statistics of trauma

Recognize - how impactful trauma is on our communities

Respond - using trauma-informed approaches

Recognize - training is essential

Avoid Retraumatizing - both staff and clients!

Having the knowledge of TIC is one thing, but presenting care through a narrative manner impacts lives! Telling stories, creating meaningfulness. We all need guides, training, and slides, but the one thing that we all deeply need is a place in the larger story of life.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ9FWFMT?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_0MKBDBQ5PRD8G8NBEJ0B

Why I Created A Mental Health Character

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Tue, 10 Jan 2023 16:33:44 GMT

Why I Created A Mental Health Character

Everyday I hear something in the news regarding mental health . Whether about mental health services, education, shootings, abuse, depression, anxiety. It’s everywhere.

I’m one to follow inspiration as it arises. Some may call that foolish, I call it opportunistic. When there is a need, I follow my gut and intuition to try and meet it. Now, I’m no mogul nor am I remotely wealthy enough to cause a huge impact, but when I see a way I can even impact 1 person- I’ll take it.

Why did I create a mental health character?

Creating a cartoon character like “Mishap” that revolves around mental health topics is important for our society for a number of reasons. I’ll give a few reasons why, but first who is Mishap?

"Mishap" is a mischievous and energetic little creature who is always getting into one scrape or another. Mishap is a small, fluffy, airy creature with bright blue fur and big, curious eyes.Despite their tendency to get into trouble, Mishap is a lovable and loyal companion. They are always ready for an adventure and are willing to take risks, even if it means getting into a bit of mischief along the way. Despite their playful nature, Mishap is also sensitive and caring, and they are always willing to lend a helping hand to their friends.

I started the New Year with this character in mind. Mishap is going to be experiencing a great deal of mental health difficulties this year. Stay tuned to see how Mishap works through these difficulties!

Back to the reasons.

Her are a few reasons why I developed this character:

Mental health education: By using Mishap as a platform to explore and discuss mental health topics, we can provide valuable education and information to children and adults alike. This can help to break down the stigma surrounding mental health issues and encourage people to seek help when needed.

Normalizing mental health: By portraying Mishap as a lovable, relatable character who struggles with mental health challenges, we can help to normalize these issues and show that it is okay to not feel okay all the time. This can be especially important for children, who may not yet have the language or understanding to express their own emotions.

Encouraging self-care: By showing Mishap practicing self-care and seeking help when needed, we can encourage others to do the same. This can help to prevent mental health issues from worsening and can promote overall well-being.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in five children in the United States has a diagnosable mental health disorder. This statistic highlights the importance of addressing mental health in a way that is accessible and relatable to children. By using a cartoon character like Mishap, we can make these topics more approachable and encourage children to seek

Another reason why creating a cartoon character like Mishap that revolves around mental health topics is important for our society is because it can have a positive impact on children's mental health literacy and attitudes towards seeking help.

A study published in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology found that children who had access to mental health education were more likely to recognize the signs of mental health issues in themselves and others, and were more likely to seek help when needed. This is especially important given that many children do not receive proper mental health care, either due to a lack of access or a fear of stigma.

By creating a cartoon character like Mishap who openly discusses and deals with mental health issues, we can help to create a more accepting and understanding society. This can encourage more children to seek help when needed and can ultimately lead to better outcomes for their mental health.

Mishap is going to be an important step in promoting mental health awareness and understanding in our society. By providing education, normalizing mental health issues, and encouraging self-care, we can create a more supportive and accepting environment for children and adults alike.

But why?

Children often relate to fictional characters and use them as a way to make sense of the world around them. According to a study published in the journal Child Development, children often use fictional characters as "theoretical others" to try out new roles and behaviors, and to practice problem-solving and decision-making skills.

Another study published in the Journal of Research in Childhood Education found that children tend to form strong emotional bonds with fictional characters, and that these bonds can be influenced by the character's personality, appearance, and the child's own life experiences.

In addition to providing a way for children to try out new roles and behaviors, fictional characters can also serve as positive role models. According to a review published in the journal Pediatrics, children who are exposed to positive and prosocial fictional characters are more likely to exhibit prosocial behavior themselves.

Overall, the evidence suggests that children relate to fictional characters in a number of ways, including using them as theoretical others, forming emotional bonds, and taking on the characteristics and behaviors of the characters they admire.

So what prompted me specifically?

Well, I’ve been visiting Disney World since I was about 7 years old. As I get older, I find myself taking my family. It’s a magical world filled with moments of wonder and awe. It is a paradox however. Long lines, frustrated parents, overpriced everything. The experience is full of little mishaps. Especially having a 2 year old with us this year- mishaps were commonplace.

Sitting in the Walt Disney theater watching his life story inspired me to create my own fictional character! That’s how little Mishap landed in my lap. Between the spark of inspiration (and some help of Ai) I was able to turn a thought into reality.

Looking for more creative clinical content? Check out my linktree:

linktr.ee/Geries_Shaheen_LPC

Battling Anxiety

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 20:25:56 GMT

Are you constantly worrying about everything?

People often worry about relationships, finances, your parents, children, job, school, and everything in between. Sometimes, without even realizing it! Do your negative thoughts take control of your mind and drive you absolutely crazy? Worries tend to do that. There are a few things you can implement in order to get your thoughts back on track.Throughout our education, we may have learned crucial subjects such as math, science, and history. We might not have been presented with ideas regarding anxiety. To accomplish our potential, we need values and attributes that enrich our lives and the lives of others. These qualities, the result of our inner development, will allow us to mature emotionally and spiritually.

Lets take a look at 10 attributes that could help us on our journey

Balance

Faith

Forgiveness

Honesty and Integrity

Interpersonal Skills

Love

Motivation

Perseverance

Responsibility

Self confidence

Ten Attributes

Developing these ten attributes builds character, which serves as a jumping-off point for dynamic action in living a worry reduced life. We might not be able to eradicate worry completely, as some worry is healthy.

BALANCE

We are able to live a balanced and fulfilling life by centering on spiritual development as a top priority, and by devoting time to the other areas: physical, mental, career, financial, family, and social/recreational.

We can provide balance in our lives by keeping up our wellness and vitality; developing a clear mind and a positive mental attitude; discovering our talents and doing your part in a meaningful career; meeting our financial needs and responsibilities; taking care of our responsibilities to family; taking time out for fun; and building meaningful friendships.

FAITH

Belief in ourselves and trust in a Higher Power can help us through tough times.The age old concept of ” Letting go and letting God" enables us to accept and appreciate life in all its diversity. Faith in a Higher Power allows us the stability and peace we need in life.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness comes from a compassionate heart. Were able to find strength to forgive ourselves and other people. Retaliation and violence are often the consequence of a lack of forgiveness. A forgiving attitude gives us serenity.

HONESTY AND INTEGRITY

Being dependable gives us dignity and faith in ourselves. We can be honest without hurting the feelings of other people. Honesty is what we do when no one is watching in addition to when other people are present. Integrity includes honesty and requires adhering to our values and morals. People of integrity do not compromise their principles for money, comfort, or quick results. Integrity demands courage and the strength of one's convictions. This individual serves as an admirable example for other people.

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Positive relationships revitalize us. Relating easily with other people decreases feelings of solitude. Perceiving the beneficial qualities in other people and showing appreciation are keys to having better relationships. Listening to other people is one way to let them know they are important to us.

As our ability to listen and communicate improves, so does our strength in building successful relationships. Though we may disagree with somebody, we can select words that show regard for that individual’s viewpoint. Learning to relate effectively with other people is a skill that can be developed.

LOVE

When love is aroused in us, other great qualities--such as joy, inner peace, and courage can develop automatically. Love is brave and forgiving. Our soul is love. Love is our essential nature.

MOTIVATION

To accomplish anything in life, we must create a goal and then take positive action to achieve it. Motivation starts with a solid desire from within oneself. To make a wholehearted effort towards our goals, we must be extremely motivated. Envisioning our dreams will increase our motivation to accomplish them. Strong motivation, combined with the will to take action, removes barriers that block our potential.

PERSEVERANCE

Perseverance heightens our ability to achieve goals. Perseverance is powerful. Inner growth and personal transformation require perseverance. Our minds are our greatest challenge. Life's toughest battles are fought within ourselves. We need courage to win these battles.

RESPONSIBILITY

Responsibility entails responding to the needs of the situation at hand. We have to determine the difference between unnecessary obligations and appropriate obligations. Self-improvement is a creditworthy and unselfish action; it is a requirement to effectively helping other people. We cannot make a substantial contribution to other people if we avoid helping ourselves.

SELF-CONFIDENCE

Self-confidence means that one believes in oneself. Self-confidence grows as we attain and utilize our strengths. Experiencing a series of small, incremental successes is an excellent way to defeat fear and establish self-confidence.

As our self-confidence grows, we gain ability to achieve our dreams and heighten our joy of living. Believing that we are worthwhile makes life worth living.

Acquiring these ten attributes enables us to live effective and fulfilling lives. I believe each of us has tremendous potential. We possess immense inner resources. Drawing upon these resources, we can develop ourselves into the best human beings we are capable of becoming. Our lives become a blessing, not only for ourselves, but also for individuals around us.

It is human to be concerned but it is unhealthy to overly worry.

We often find ourselves worrying about many things. How do we deal with worry? Is there something that we can do to keep from worrying in the first place?

What Is Worry?

Worry turns small things into big shadows. It makes us feel uneasy or concerned; feeling troubled. Worry is that sense of fear that can overwhelm you in all domains of life. This can take the shape of panic attacks when the level of worry is so high that it's debilitating. We worry about the future believing that we are totally helpless as to influencing what will happen next in our lives.It will be important to trust that we're not helpless in every aspect of our lives.

In most cases, we worry about matters that have not happened or something that we imagine will occur. The biggest point of differentiation in this regard is to be able to filter between a rational fear and an irrational fear. Worrying has a tendency to lead our imagination in the negative direction. We typically do not worry about the areas of our lives that are beneficial to us or gives pleasure; we worry about things that we think will hurt us in one way or another.

Worrying is normal in life. Again, a great deal of worry is harmful. The primary form of worry is having the sense of feared vulnerability and powerlessness. A worrying individual thinks that their triggered day-to-day difficulties are not controllable, while others may worry because of a loss of faith in something.

“What ifs” can lead to deeper worries.

Worry can take many forms. For the m ost part a little worry is normal. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to threat. It sets us up for fight or flight (among other forms of response). All the same, if the energy made available by worry is not used then it starts to build up causing harm in the end.

Worry affects several things. When we worry, our body begins to pump out a range of chemicals (such as adrenaline) that increase the flow of blood and oxygen to your brain and skeletal muscles. Your blood also clots quicker, ready to fix any injuries you sustain in your “fight or flight”. Your body certainly goes through changes when we worry. You can probably hear your heart pounding stronger or perhaps even sweat starting to form. You might be able to feel the anxiety rise in yourself, which causes you to shake or become agitated. These are all effects of worry and stress. Naturally, if this happens often without a way to use or redirect the energy, then issues will occur over time.

You may feel keyed up with nothing to fight or flee, and no way to turn off the tension. You become on edge, feeling as though you may implode. If this happens often (or chronically) it can have a dangerous effect on your health.

Every system in your body is affected by worry. Besides raising blood pressure, worry can lead to production of more cholesterol, all of which can raise your risk of hear attack and stroke. Muscle stress can produce headaches, back pain, and other body aches. Worry can also trigger an increase in stomach acid and either slow or speed up muscle contractions in your intestines, which can lead to stomach aches, constipation, diarrhea,gas or heartburn. Worry can affect your skin as well. It can affect your respiratory system and aggravate asthma. Growing evidence even proposes that chronic worry can compromise your immune system, making you more vulnerable to bacteria, viruses, and perhaps even cancer .there's one thing that worrying does not do. It does not make the situation better. Therefore, we should find an alternative to worrying so that we have less worry and stress in our lives.

How to Reduce Worry

Luckily, there are methods that you are able to learn and practice that can be valuable for decreasing worry.We must first recognize that it will take frequent practice to cut back the habit of worrying.

The more the strategies are rehearsed, the stronger the new habit becomes and the weaker the old habit of worry becomes. This will take some drive in the beginning.

In addition, it is crucial to recogniz e that what works for one person might not work for another. Because each individual is unique, the way in which he or she worries may vary. Thus the best ways for that individual to cut down their worrying may vary.

The most effective way to decrease worry is to select a technique and rehearse it. If after a couple of weeks of conscientious practice does not reduce worrying, it is sensible to shift to another technique and to rehearse that for a while. This does not automatically mean the process is a failure, but rather that a different technique may be helpful for you.

The important point is to give a technique a good try before deserting It. Recognize that while some techniques work well for some cases of worrying, but not for all. Don’t shy away from combining techniques until you find which combination works best for you.

Observe You’re Worrying and Catch It Early

When we worry, we might not even be aware that it has begun. That is the nature of habits. That is why learning to become aware of your worrying is fundamental to any technique of worry reduction. Self awareness is crucial. Start out by noticing you are worrying: Become more aware of it; observe it with the goal in mind of catching the worry as soon as it starts.

In enforcing any of these worry-reduction methods, the earlier it's applied, the more effective in the long run the technique will be. This is because the longer an episode of worrying lasts, the more the habit is reinforced and the more you are strengthening the bonds between the worrisome ideas. Put differently, you are reinforcing the habit. Therefore, the earlier the worrying is caught, the less that habit is strengthened.

By becoming progressively conscious of the habit of worrying, you have a greater degree of switching it off before it becomes obsessive. It is a great sign when you are consciously catching the worrying early. You are approaching the position of bein able to do something about it more effectively.

Count Your Worrying

In learning to keep an eye on your worrying, it is useful to keep track of how often it happens during the day. Making marks on a notepad or on your phone to record this info. At the end of each day write down the total and watch this trend over a number of days. This routine is helpful as a reminder to observe and catch worrying. It also offers information on how much time you spend worrying. After, you begin applying worry-reduction strategies and continue to track the day-to-day frequency of worrying, you will be able to see what impact your strategies are having.

Relaxation Methods for Bodily Disturbance

Worry can create uncomfortable bodily sensations, such as muscle tension, stomach disturbance, and a pounding heart. Imagining awful things can affect our bodies just as if they were actually happening. These sensations may be good clues to help you catch your worrisome thoughts earlier. Whenever you catch yourself worrying or feeling such sensations, you can replace these with a relaxation response to calm your body. This will make it easier to think more reasonably and clearly, focusing your attention on your immediate environment. There are many types of relaxation methods for worrying,

1. Picture a relaxing image. Picture a scene that creates a sense of calm and peacefulness, for example lying on a warm beach, sitting next to a brook in a beautiful valley, or reclining in your favorite chair at home. Let go of all other thoughts and immerse yourself in this picture as if you were actually there.

2. Focus your attention on your breathing, every time you inhale and exhale. Say the word, "relax" or "calm" or any other word that is significant to you, upon each exhalation.

3. Deliberately tense up different groups of muscles for about five seconds, then release that tension all at once and concentrate for a minute on the feelings of relaxation that enter those muscles once they are released.

4. Breathe with your stomach, rather than your chest, and with practice learn to breathe at a rate of around eight to ten cycles per minute. With each of these techniques, you will notice thoughts intruding.

Let those thoughts pass through your mind and gently focus your attention back to the relaxation process. With practice, your ability to let go of thinking is likely to increase, making it easier to let go of worrisome thoughts during the day.

You can practice such methods for ten to 15 minutes twice a day, to build up your ability to elicit a relaxation response briefly, whenever you catch yourself beginning to worry or notice bodily tension or upset.

It Lies Within Yourself

One of life’s hardest lessons to learn is that you are able to only change yourself. Some individuals spend excessive amounts of time and energy worrying or frustrated by other people’s thoughts and behaviors.

You are able to protect yourself against the rain or feel grumpy about the snow, but there is not a lot you are able to do about it. Why should we believe we can change someone else’s behaviors and thoughts with just a couple of choice words? We may be able to influence or redirect those around us, but true change comes from within.

When it comes to those around us, we may think or say “How could they say such a thing!” or “How can anybody be so rude?” or “don't they recognize how much they hurt me? Why do they do that?”

We frequently react in this way because our emotions are a part of people’s innate decision-making skills. We react and respond emotionally to our own emotional needs. Emotions are indeed helpful messengers and feel very real, but they do not have to be our full reality. Therefore, when someone touches one of our emotional strings, we may respond in a way that feels right to us.

Focusing on our own expectations and boundaries will be helpful in the long run. Requesting the person to stop the behavior that you find frustrating, annoying or makes you worry may be the extent of sharing boundary. Repeating something over and over again does not suddenly make people more aware of themselves. However it does make them aware of your boundary. It may not change them, but it does provide a consistent message. This gives the person continual opportunities to either respect your boundaries or to go against them.

Catch your thoughts before they upset you! You must consider the impact worry and frustration has on your own health. Individuals can spend weeks, months and in some cases years in psychotherapy working on changing their thoughts or behaviors.

They do this to find some way to not allow worry and stress to overcome them. Realize the change depends on you, not others. Often, this sort of change in thinking takes a long to understand, practice, and then implement. Our automatic thoughts and behaviors are integrated parts of our personality. They are infused with our beliefs about the entire world.

Save yourself some frustration today and try to learn to stop trying to change others. Focus instead on changing your own thoughts and behaviors. You may find yourself living a happier and more peaceful life.

Keep in mind your safety! Boundaries are crucial in decreasing worry, but you must also consider your safety. If you are being continually abused (physically, emotionally, mentaly, sexually, verbally or the like), your boundaries are intended to protect you from receiving these sorts of experiences. The more resistance you feel from the other party in regards to your boundaries, the stronger the boundaries must be implemented. This takes a great deal of intention and follow through. If a boundary is not consistently modeled, then the ongoing nature of abuse will most likely continue.

15 Way to Spend Your Time Worry Free

1. Visiting a park is a great way to spend your free time but you can enhance it even more by learning a game that you can play yourself. Pick up juggling or hacky sack or just grab a tennis ball and start playing catch with yourself. You may be able to find something lying around your house that you can take to the park and play with.

3. Play cards. There are tons of different card games out there that you can play alone, with a partner or with a group of people. Get online if you can and find out the instructions for new games. Challenge yourself to master one new card game each week or month.

4. Take photographs, or sketch out images. You do not have to spend any money to enjoy this art. Head out to anywhere with your camera or phone and challenge yourself to have a great time noticing the details through the lens of your device.

5. Read something that interests you. Most people find it fun to read something. Whether its novels or non-fiction or comic books or just websites, there is probably something that you could sit down and read for hours and not be bored. Make it a point to turn off all of the other distractions and immerse yourself in the written word so that you really enjoy the time that you spend on this activity. Make use of local libraries or bookstores that do not mind you hanging out for a while to keep this activity free.

7. Draw / color/ paint. Remember when you were younger and you could spend hours making art? Unless you are an artist now, you may have stopped having that kind of fun. Start up again! You do not have to be “good at art” to have a good time being creative. You also do not have to spend money on fancy pencils and pads of art paper. Instead, find the scrap paper that is lying around your house, pick up whatever pens or old paint you might have and just have a good time.

8. Check out free events in your area. There are always free things happening even in the smallest of cities. Check your local venues and online landing pages / social media for announcements about free events, movie screenings, free lectures at schools and libraries, free book readings. If you open your mind to trying to find events in the area you will find that there is a lot to do and a lot to learn.

9. Host an event. Gather a group of friends and invite them over. Hav a karaoke night or some other form of performance art/ games with your friends and family members. Create an experience that is relieving to the mind and body.

10. Spend time making a wish list. Spend time daydreaming. Sit down and spend some time making a wish list of all of the things that you would like to have or do in your life. Make a list of goals – places to travel someday, achievements you would like to make, things you want to change about yourself. Or make a list of silly things like what you would do with a billion dollars or whom you wish you could have met in a past life. You may find that this inspires you to do more with your life. Or you may just find it fun to daydream for a while all by yourself.

11. People watch. Sit somewhere where there are many people and just watch them. People are fascinating. You will overhear things and witness things that may surprise you. Of course, do not be creepy about watching other people. Do it appropriately in places where it is normal to spend time, places like town squares and public parks

and shopping districts.

12. Go hiking. Get your blood pumping by finding a spot near you where you can hike. If you do not have the right equipment for hiking, just go for regular walks. There is a lot to see when you get out of your car or off of your bike and just slow down. The physical exercise is good for you but it is the chance to really enjoy your surroundings for a change that makes walking fun.

13. Dance. Dance at home, dance at free community dance events. Dance with friends. You do not have to have rhythm or special shoes to be able to move your body and feel good. Loosen up and have fun with it!

14. Make up stories. It is fun to stretch our imaginations by creating stories in our minds (constructive stories of course). If you are the writer type then you can get a pen and paper and construct these stories. If not, consider getting one or more people together regularly to tell stories aloud to each other. Tell your own stories or work on stories together. Do not worry about getting the words exactly right. Instead, get the ideas flowing and enjoy watching your own mind expand with new thoughts.

15. Resume an old sport or hobby that you gave up. You may already have the equipment lying around your home. Find a basketball and go shoot some hoops. Pick up a flute or harmonica and give it a try.

The reason these 15 examples are given is to allow the mind to move from a concrete pattern of thinking to more of a fluid manner. If these 15 could be helpful then perhaps there are others. Here is a challenge, thing of 5 more that are specific and unique to you. 5 more approaches that your mind could buy into.

What Occurs With Too Much Worrying?

Worrying is feeling anxious or being overly concerned about a state of affairs or issue. With unreasonable worrying, your brain and body go into overdrive as you perpetually center on “what may happen.” In the middle of excessive worrying, you might suffer with high anxiousness or even panic.

A lot of chronic worriers tell of feeling a sense of imminent doom or unrealistic fears that only step-up their worries. Ultra-sensitive to their surroundings and to the criticism of other people, excessive worriers might see anything, and anybody, as a likely threat.

Chronic worrying impacts your daily life so much that it interferes with your appetite, life-style habits, relationships, rest, and job performance. Often if we worry heavily we may look for relief in harmful life-style habits like overeating, cigarette smoking, or utilizing alcohol and drugs among other things.

As discussed earlier, the fight or flight response makes the body’s sympathetic nervous system release stress hormones like cortisol. These hormones may boost blood sugar levels and triglycerides (blood fats) that may be used by the body for fuel. These hormones may likewise cause physical reactions like:

Trouble swallowing

Vertigo

Dry mouth

Quick heartbeat

Tiredness

Headaches

Inability to concentrate

Crossness

Muscle aches

Muscle tension

Nausea

Anxious energy

Speedy breathing

Breathlessness

Perspiration

Quivering and twitching

All of these systems interact and are deeply influenced by your coping style and your mental state. It isn’t the stress that makes you ill. Instead, it’s the effect responses like excessive worrying and anxiety have on these assorted interacting systems that may bring on the physical illness. Consider life-style changes to alter the way you react.

The Money Worries

Some of the most common worries are directly correlated to finance. Instability, debt,

making ends meet, these are the worries that tend to keep people up at night. These fears and anxieties over cash may cause us to ignore other issues or even goals we must address. If you're having trouble paying your bills, or discover that you're getting further and further into debt, but are avoiding dealing with it, start being courageous now- in this moment.

There are tools and resources that may help you consolidate your debt to get you back on track. If you are unsure about where you stand, you won't be able to make the necessary changes to get yourself back on track. After you've got a solid grip on your fiscal situation, if you feel that you can't handle it yourself seek out a little assistance. Your financial organization or a financial counselor may be good places to start. Debt counselors may help you feel you've won back control of your situation. They're there to help you manage what may appear unmanageable. Acquiring sound financial insight may help relieve much of that anxiety and worry.

Assess if you are living beyond your means. Making a few easy changes to your spending habits may help you gain more in control and prevent disharmony that comes from these sorts of worries.

Start by making some easy changes like cutting back on morning lattes, taking a lunch to work, attempt to make arrangements to take public transit, carpool bicycle or walk to work rather to save on parking and fuel fees. If these are out of your scope of reality- perhaps consider a side hustle or extra means of income. At first these changes may feel embarrassing- its important to get past that feeling. Letting go of pride and leaning into humility will help greatly. These easy changes may make a huge difference to the bottom line.

Attaining a strategy for your cash is an excellent way to relieve some of the anxiety surrounding it. Dreads of the unknown and of those accidents that may arise may keep you awake at night. If you've a little extra cash monthly than consider putting it away in an emergency fund.

Little sacrifices here and there are really themselves small prices to pay for peacefulness. As financial stress breeds worry, discord and family fighting, taking control of your state of affairs may go a long way to relieve these difficulties. Regardless of the state of economy, you are able to still work toward keeping your own finances in order. Most especially, try to consider what's of most value to you and your loved ones. You might not actually need that new vehicle, that new expensive gadget, or even that extra 5 dollar cup of coffee. These matters may all be sacrificed without sacrificing what's really crucial: your own peacefulness, happiness and security.

Relax

When enough anxiousness builds, it may cause a lack of mental alertness, mental disease, physical illness and a whole host of other problems. Anxiety is a biological response to stress. It's consequently necessary to discover ways to alleviate anxiety before it may build. Breathing meditation can help greatly, this works for relieving anxiety and creating a peaceful moment. Sit in a chair or on the floor, place your hands on your knees, close your eyes and breathe through your nose.

If you learn to guard your mind properly, external happenings will not affect you as deeply. Try not to practice blaming when things do not go your way.

You must not think that you are unlucky, that you are the victim of fate, or that somebody has cursed you or had done some vendetta against you. Even if they truly are. Even if they have literally spoken ill will toward you.

No matter what reason yo u give, you must not evade responsibility for your own internal emotions and thoughts.Try to navigate your emotions and thoughts without sulking. Try to process difficulties with a constructive demeanor even under the most trying circumstances.

Be courageous to face any change even if the change is natural or necessary. Be brave enough to accept what you cannot avoid. Be wise enough to accept what you cannot avoid. Be wise enough to understand the uncertainty of worldly conditions, which affect everyone. Develop courage to face disappointments and problems without feeling frustrated. Difficulties abound in our life. We have to face them bravely. We must overcome them without creating further problems. Try to not be discouraged. Perhaps even practice selfless service. Being present for others may eventually brings happiness in its own right. In rendering our service to others.

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List of 10 difficulties that end marriages

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 20:20:36 GMT

Marriage is a fragile institution and many factors can lead to its dissolution. From infidelity to incompatibility, there are many things that can cause a marriage to end. In this article, we’ll explore 10 of the most common reasons why marriages fail.

Here is the quick rundown. Read the entire article for more detail.

1. Infidelity

2. Financial Stress

3. Abuse

4. Lack of Communication

5. Lack of Intimacy

6. Lack of Respect

7. Substance Abuse

8. Incompatibility

9. Growing Apart

10. Unresolved Conflict

Let's get into it.

1. Infidelity is one of the most common reasons marriages end. When a spouse is unfaithful, it can be difficult to rebuild trust and restore the relationship.

2. Financial stress can also lead to the end of a marriage. Issues such as an imbalance of income, debt, and other financial problems can cause tension in the relationship.

3. Abuse, be it physical, emotional, or verbal, is an unacceptable behavior in a marriage and can lead to the end of the relationship.

4. Lack of communication can be a major problem in a marriage. Not being able to communicate openly and honestly can prevent couples from resolving conflicts and can lead to the end of the marriage.

5. Lack of intimacy can also be a problem in a marriage. Without a physical connection, couples may feel disconnected and drift apart.

6. Lack of respect can also be a major issue in a marriage. Not respecting the other person's opinions and feelings can lead to the demise of the relationship.

7. Substance abuse can be a major issue in a marriage. Not only can it cause problems in the relationship, but it can also put one's health and safety at risk.

8. Incompatibility can also lead to the end of a marriage. If two people have different values and beliefs, it can be difficult to maintain a successful relationship.

9. Growing apart can be a natural consequence of staying married for a long time. Couples may find that as they age, their interests and values may drift apart, leading to the end of the marriage.

10. Unresolved conflict can also cause a marriage to end. If couples are unable to resolve their differences, it can lead to frustration, resentment, and ultimately, the end of the marriage.

Marriage is a complex institution and it can be difficult to maintain over time. These 10 reasons are some of the most common causes of marriage failure. It’s important to recognize the warning signs in order to save the relationship before it’s too late.

How can Counseling help?

1. Marriage counseling can help couples who have experienced infidelity to rebuild trust and work through their issues.

2. Marriage counseling can help couples who are experiencing financial stress to develop strategies to address their issues and strengthen their relationship.

3. Marriage counseling can help couples who are in an abusive relationship to identify and address the underlying issues.

4. Marriage counseling can help couples who are struggling with communication to learn how to communicate more effectively.

5. Marriage counseling can help couples who are lacking intimacy to reconnect and create a stronger bond.

6. Marriage counseling can help couples who are lacking respect to learn how to show appreciation and respect for one another.

7. Marriage counseling can help couples who are struggling with substance abuse to develop strategies to address their issues and strengthen their relationship.

8. Marriage counseling can help couples who are incompatible to learn how to compromise and find common ground.

9. Marriage counseling can help couples who are growing apart to reconnect and work through their issues.

10. Marriage counseling can help couples who are in unresolved conflicts to learn how to communicate more effectively and resolve their differences.

5 Tips for marriage counseling:

Look for an LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist). If you can not find one in your area, utilizing an LPC (licensed professional counselor) will suffice. You may find an LMSW (licensed social worker), which are more Clinical/medical but can be helpful as well. Steer clear of life coaches for marriage counseling. Christian or biblical counselors may be helpful if that is specifically what you are looking for, but be mindful as they might not hold an actual state license but a license through an association instead.

2. Find someone local. Telehealth has been a wonderful new addition to therapy. However, for couples or marriage, it is best practice to meet in person. Even if once per month and switching it up with telehealth. Presence will be important in a triad.

3. Attend even if the other doesn’t. It may feel strange or not what you expected, but continual counseling is better than long pauses due to the other partner's schedule, hesitations, or hiccups.

4. Go in with a handful of outcomes in mind. If you don’t have any, be prepared to be transparent about that.

5. Be communicative when sessions feel overwhelming. Marriage dynamics are years in the making. Being up front all the time will help navigate the counseling process

If you are struggling in your marriage, don't wait until it's too late. Seek the help of a professional marriage counselor who can help you identify the issues and develop strategies for resolving them. With the right guidance, you can save your marriage and build a strong and lasting relationship.

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Overcoming the darkness of depression: How to find hope and heal +50 interventions

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 20:18:11 GMT

Depression is a serious mental health issue that affects millions of people around the world. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 16.2 million adults in the US alone experience at least one major depressive episode each year. Unfortunately, depression often goes untreated and can have serious consequences, including an increased risk of suicide and other health problems.

Depression is a complex mental disorder that is thought to be caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. On the neurological level, depression is thought to be caused by a disruption in the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain.

Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that carry signals between nerve cells, and when the balance of neurotransmitters is disrupted, it can cause a variety of symptoms, including depression. Specifically, it is thought that a lack of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine can contribute to depression.

Serotonin and dopamine are involved in regulating mood and behavior, while norepinephrine helps to regulate stress and anxiety. In addition, studies have shown that people with depression tend to have a smaller hippocampus, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotion and memory. Therefore, it is thought that a disruption in the balance of neurotransmitters and a smaller hippocampus can lead to depression.

Fortunately, there are a variety of clinically proven interventions for depression that can help individuals improve their mental health and reduce the risk of negative outcomes. Here are some of the most effective interventions for depression along with simple reflective case studies:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This form of psychotherapy helps people identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to depression. Studies have shown that CBT is one of the most effective interventions for depression, with up to 70% of people showing significant improvement after treatment

Case study: An 18 year-old male with a history of depression was referred to a CBT therapist. Through weekly sessions, the therapist was able to help the patient identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. After six months of treatment, the patient reported feeling more positive and optimistic about his future.

2. Medication: Antidepressant medications are often prescribed to help manage the symptoms of depression. Studies have shown that antidepressant medications can reduce the intensity of depression in up to 70% of people.

Case study: A 25 year-old female was prescribed an antidepressant medication after being diagnosed with depression. After taking the medication for three months, she reported feeling less depressed and was able to return to work and social activities.

3. Increased/ Maintained activity: Exercise has been shown to have a positive effect on mental health. Studies have found that regular exercise can reduce the symptoms of depression in up to 40% of individuals.

Case study: A 55 year-old male was struggling with depression. His doctor recommended that he get at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day. After six months of regular exercise, the patient reported feeling less depressed and more energetic.

These are just a few of the many clinically proven interventions for depression. With the right treatment, individuals can significantly reduce their symptoms and improve their quality of life. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional as soon as possible.

Don’t believe me when I say there are many interventions for depression? Here is a list of 50!

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

2. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)

3. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

4. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

5. Behavioral Activation (BA)

6. Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

7. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

8. Behavioral Couples Therapy (BCT)

9. Narrative Therapy

10. Stress Management

11. Meditation

12. Exercise

13. Art Therapy

14. Music Therapy

15. Yoga

16. Hypnotherapy

17. Biofeedback

18. Acupuncture

19. Massage Therapy

20. Aromatherapy

21. Herbal Remedies

22. Vitamin and Mineral Supplements

23. Light Therapy

24. Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)

25. Support Groups

26. Pet Therapy

27. Journaling

28. Social Skills Training

29. Sleep Hygiene

30. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

31. Spiritual Practices

32. Guided Imagery

33. Problem-Solving Therapy

34. Self-Compassion

35. Interpersonal Effectiveness Training

36. Coping Skills Training

37. Nutritional Counseling

38. Interoceptive Exposure

39. Limited Repetition

40. Cognitive Restructuring

41. Reframing

42. Emotion Regulation Techniques

43. Activity Scheduling

44. Lifestyle Changes

45. Psychoeducation

46. Positive Reinforcement

47. Community Support

48. Cognitive Reappraisal

49. Positive Psychology Interventions

50. Positive Coping Strategies

No matter how difficult life can seem, there can be hope to be found. If you are struggling with depression, please know that you are not alone and there is help. Seeking professional counseling can be a great way to start on a path to feeling better. With the support of a trained counselor, you can learn to manage your symptoms and develop healthy coping skills to help you get through tough times.

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The Power of EMDR

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 20:14:51 GMT

How This Therapeutic Approach Can Help Heal Trauma and Improve Mental Health. + 7 EMDR Interventions

This past year I accomplished a goal of becoming EMDR trained! While I have yet to become certified, I feel I can support this modality completely. The training process required me to experience the interventions. In triads, we (therapists) had to tread cautiously. I would love to give you some insight into this model, and provide empirical evidence for its efficacy, as well as specific interventions involved. I may even throw in a sample case study.

According to the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA), as of 2021 , there are approximately 27,000 EMDR-trained therapists worldwide, with over 20,000 of them located in the United States. EMDRIA is the main professional organization for EMDR practitioners and trainers, and it maintains a directory of EMDR-certified therapists. To be listed in the directory, therapists must meet certain criteria, including completing an EMDRIA-approved EMDR training program and meeting continuing education requirements.

It is important to note that EMDR is not a standalone treatment, and practitioners should be trained in a range of therapy approaches in addition to EMDR. It is also important to find a qualified and experienced therapist who is a good fit for your needs and goals. You can use the EMDRIA directory or other resources to locate a qualified EMDR therapist in your area.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach that has been shown to be effective in treating a wide range of psychological issues, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and depression. EMDR involves the use of bilateral eye movements, sounds, or taps to help patients process and make sense of distressing memories and experiences. (Shapiro, F. (1989). Efficacy of the eye movement desensitization procedure in the treatment of traumatic memories. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 2(2), 199-223.)

EMDR was developed in the 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro, and has since been extensively researched and found to be effective in numerous studies. One meta-analysis of 23 randomized controlled trials found that EMDR was more effective than other forms of therapy or no treatment in reducing symptoms of PTSD. (Shapiro, F., & Forrest, M. S. (1997). EMDR: The breakthrough "eye movement" therapy for overcoming anxiety, stress, and trauma. New York: BasicBooks.)

Another meta-analysis of 17 randomized controlled trials found that EMDR was effective in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression in adults. (van den Hout, M., Engelhard, I. M., Arntz, A., & Sijbrandij, M. (2016). EMDR Therapy for Anxiety Disorders: A Meta-Analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 47, 15-24.)

One mechanism by which EMDR may be effective is by helping patients to process and integrate traumatic memories into their overall life story. Traumatic memories can often be stored in an unprocessed form in the brain, leading to a range of symptoms such as flashbacks, avoidance behaviors, and negative beliefs about oneself and the world. By using the bilateral stimulation of EMDR, these memories can be accessed and processed in a more adaptive way, leading to a reduction in symptoms. (Bisson, J. I., & Andrew, M. (2007). Psychological treatments for chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. The Cochrane Library, 2.)

EMDR has also been found to be effective in treating other types of psychological issues, including phobias, grief, and substance abuse. In addition, it has been found to be effective in treating a range of populations, including children and military personnel. (Shapiro, F., & Maxfield, L. (2002). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) treatment for psychologically traumatized individuals. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1071-1089.)

While the exact mechanism by which EMDR is effective is not fully understood, it is thought to involve changes in brain functioning. Neuroimaging studies have found that EMDR leads to changes in brain activity in areas involved in emotion regulation and memory processing. (Lee, C. W., & Cuijpers, P. (2013). A meta-analysis of the contribution of eye movements in processing emotional memories. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 44(2), 231-239.) In training, we reflected on the concept of REM sleep and the similar dynamics at play.

Overall, the empirical evidence supports the effectiveness of EMDR in treating a range of psychological issues. It is a well-established and widely accepted treatment approach that has been found to be effective in numerous studies. While further research is needed to fully understand how EMDR works, it is a valuable tool in the treatment of psychological issues and can be a valuable addition to an overall treatment plan.

Here are some common EMDR-based interventions:

Bilateral eye movements: This involves the therapist guiding the patient's eye movements back and forth while the patient focuses on a distressing memory or experience.
Bilateral sounds: This involves the patient listening to alternating sounds through headphones while focusing on a distressing memory or experience.
Bilateral taps: This involves the therapist tapping the patient's hands or knees alternatively while the patient focuses on a distressing memory or experience.
Body scan: This involves the patient lying down and focusing on the sensation of their body while the therapist guides them through a relaxation exercise.
Cognitive interweaves: This involves the therapist interrupting the processing of a distressing memory or experience to address any negative beliefs or thought patterns that may be present.
Resource development and installation: This involves the therapist helping the patient identify and develop internal or external resources that can be used to cope with distress, and then "installing" these resources into the patient's memory to be accessed in times of need.
Trauma-specific protocols: These are structured sequences of interventions that are specific to addressing certain types of trauma, such as complex trauma or sexual abuse.

Case Study "Alice"

One case study of EMDR involved a woman named "Alice," who was referred for treatment due to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) stemming from a car accident she had experienced a few years prior. Alice had experienced significant injuries in the accident, including a broken leg, and had undergone several surgeries as a result. She reported experiencing flashbacks, avoidance behaviors, and difficulty sleeping as a result of the accident.

Alice began treatment with a therapist trained in EMDR, and after a thorough assessment, it was determined that EMDR would be a useful intervention for her. During the first few sessions, the therapist and Alice worked on developing a comprehensive treatment plan and establishing a sense of safety and trust in the therapy process.

Once these foundations were established , the therapist began using EMDR to address the distressing memories and experiences related to the car accident. This involved using bilateral eye movements, sounds, or taps to help Alice process and make sense of the traumatic event. The therapist also used cognitive interweaves to address any negative beliefs or thought patterns that Alice had about herself or the world as a result of the accident.

As treatment progressed, Alice reported a significant reduction in her symptoms of PTSD, including a decrease in flashbacks and avoidance behaviors, and an improvement in her sleep. She also reported an overall sense of increased well-being and a greater sense of control over her life.

It is important to note that EMDR is a comprehensive treatment approach and these interventions are not always used in every session. The specific interventions used will depend on the individual needs and goals of the patient.

It is also always important to work with a qualified and experienced therapist who is a good fit for your needs and goals. They can help you understand the potential benefits and risks of EMDR and other interventions, and help you develop a treatment plan that is tailored to your specific needs.

If you decide to explore further let me know! I would love to connect and chat.

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Artemis Captured- Narrative Therapy

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 15:01:16 GMT

Spoiler- this is not regarding the Artemis space launch.

There are some experiences that take a while to process. I don’t mean in just the classic sense of trauma or shock. I mean there are some places and events that leave such an impact that your mind will house it away for safekeeping clear into old age! Hard to believe? We’ll stick with me and let’s see if I can convince you. Let’s find out if I can paint my memory in your mind.

Imagine a perfect mid 70’s degree day, Sun poking through cotton ball clouds above a Turkish hillside carpeted in red anemones. The breeze swirls through the crimson field navigating its way from a stone amphitheater below, fighting its way toward the heights of ancient temple stones once for Artemis, now left for folklore. The sound of trickling water running through stair stepped gutter system catches your ear. Not ten minutes prior, a stroll through a hollowed history Ephesus called ‘church’. Pillars holding up the blue sky with inscriptions of faith. A stark difference from the symbols etched on the ancient sidewalks billboarding the nearest brothel of that time. Along the way a white-furred companion joins you, giving you a sense of power to keep climbing the endless Amphitheatre steps covered in overgrowth. Finally, you are met not by a deity or mystic, but rather by a bright little soul selling flowers out of a basket.

You wonder how paradoxes exist in real life? It’s when a weathered Grecian temple and an extinct Christian church glare at one another for millennia to a backdrop of an uncaring Mother Nature eating them both into the ground. And yet, a Christian tour group and Athenian visitors snap digital keepsakes to the tune of a minaret bellowing an Islamic call to prayer.

Do you have the scene? I do. It’s been frozen in my mind for 14 years. That’s the power of the amazing neural nets we create. We harbor memories not just for sentiment or survival, but also for deep meaning. It is crucial to learn that experiences are not simply visual stimuli reflecting light into our eyes causing a chemical response. No, experiences hold meaning. Sometimes that meaning won’t define itself until years later!

14 years ago and a day after, the group I was with toured an ancient mosque. Even if the faith is not shared, there can still exist respect for the beauty and history of the people and land. I, however, chose to sit outside of this mosque.

It overlooked a cityscape miles below. A man sat beside me as I awaited the group. The man proceeded to explain Islam, his pillars of faith, and the promise of his religion. He passionately urged me to consider his faith as true and gave many health reasons as to why it would be a wise choice.

I was appreciative of his passion. The man believed in something so boldly that a mere stranger was an opportunity for dialogue.

Why does our mind keep these instances? What sort of lessons are we attempting to teach ourselves? Why keep this one, but not others? These are the experiences that form and shape identity. They are the milestones of our growth, the gatekeepers, the rites of passage!

I often have clients that suffer from feeling lost, wandering, and not certain who they are anymore or whom they’ve become. They present confusion when discussing virtues, values, and beliefs. Don’t get me wrong, they’ve memorized tenants and idealized boundaries, but somehow missed the love letter behind it all. The prompt is to explore the inner self through the external human experience. Finding humanity through humanity.

There is a psychological framework called narrative therapy that I am quite fond of. This modality prompts the client to wander through their life timeline using a new perspective. The therapist walks along with the client and both begin to infuse meaning and purpose into these otherwise trapped memories. Pain, joy, boredom, doesn’t matter the context. What matters is the ability to loosen and restructure the neural net in a healthy way. Allowing it to leak, but with purpose and gratefulness.

This is all a bit too abstract to explain at times, and so part of the experience is the journey itself.

This practice is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to help clients identify their values and the skills associated with them. It connects them with knowledge of their ability to live these values so they can effectively confront current and future problems. The therapist seeks to help co-write a new narrative about themselves by investigating the history of those values. Narrative therapy can be viewed as a social justice approach to therapeutic conversations, seeking to challenge dominant discourses that tend to shape people's lives in potentially destructive ways. Narrative therapy was developed during the 1970s and 1980s, largely by Australian social worker Michael White and David Epston of New Zealand, and influenced by philosophers, psychologists, and sociologists such as Michel Foucault,[Jerome Bruner, and Lev Semyonovich Vygotsky.

The intent is to separate people's identities from the problems they face , narrative therapy implements “externalizing” conversations. The process of externalization lets people explore their relationships with problems rather than embody them. A person's strengths or positive attributes also are externalized. This allows people to engage in the construction and performance of their true and meaningful identities (where otherwise meaningfulness had been lost).

If this interests you, consider learning more about the handful of narrative-based interventions!

Now let’s see if my recollection matches what you had in mind!

Do you have a favorite memory? Is there a snapshot that forever lives with you? Do you favor it? Fear it? Condemn it? Approach it? Revisit it? I would love to read about it!

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Components of Bad Communication

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 19:16:28 GMT

Communication is an important part of our daily lives . It is an essential part of any relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a family or friend relationship, or a business and professional relationship. Bad communication can be defined as any communication that doesn't meet the needs of at least one person in the conversation.

The components of bad communication can include:

- Lack of understanding: it's not clear what the other person means or wants

- Lack of respect: when one person doesn't think that the other person deserves to be treated with respect

- Lack of listening: when one person isn't really listening to what the other is saying and instead just waiting for their turn to talk

- Lack of empathy: when one person doesn't care about how the other feels

Bad communication can make people feel misunderstood, ignored or unimportant. There are many ways to improve your communication skills and resolve conflict in a healthy way.

Here are some components that can impact or foster bad communication. If you want to improve your communication skills and resolve conflict in a healthy way, it is important to pay attention to these components.:

nonverbal cues, body language, tone of voice, speed of speech and the words used.

Communication is not just about what you say, but also how you say it.

I often inform my clients in therapy sessions that their conversing skills has less to do with their intent and content and more to do with their presentation. If your cause or message truly matters, then the outcome is what’s most important. Meaning you would be willing to utilize any approach or presentation type.

Communication provides a process of exchanging information to reach a common understanding. This process can be broken down into three elements: sender, receiver, and message. The sender is the person who creates the message and sends it to the receiver. The receiver interprets the message in their own way and sends it back to the sender. If there is no common understanding between these two people, then communication breaks down.

There are many factors that can lead to communication breakdowns such as misunderstanding, miscommunication, lack of respect, or different values and beliefs. Conflict resolution is a process of overcoming these breakdowns by finding an agreement that satisfies both people’s needs.

Check out my learning modules on bad communication and Active Listening skills!

https://youtu.be/BgGmMdmgGAk

https://youtu.be/q8FrI2YvOsU

If you are developing your practice and are looking for guidance, feel free to reach out. pioneercounselingstl@gmail.com

* Along with this article are 2 learning modules (links found in article). Communication breakdowns can really bog down projects and relationships. This pitfalls can be easily bypassed with a simple understanding of components of bad communication. hashtag # communication hashtag # learning hashtag # projects

No Diagnosis = No Treatment

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 23 Apr 2022 21:32:03 GMT

When I began developing my clinical framework and structure of care in my private practice I seriously explored my options. I looked around the industry and asked for wisdom from professors, peers, experienced and seasoned therapists. I had to decide if I would accept insurance to cover the cost /partial cost of services.

At face value I’m sure most therapists would say yes.

There are many agencies that are/were funded by grants, donations, and insurances. I felt conflicted for various reasons. I wanted care to be tied to client needs, not client financial status.

I have heard of financial based structures that suited socioeconomic placement rather than need. Agencies that would place referrals with interns or plpc’s based on how much a client can pay/ cover rather than determining placement on client level of need. If an individual called and said they can only afford x amount - they would be placed with a counselor/ therapist willing to accept that bracket. I wasn’t sure I fit that model.

I also felt conflicted with the amount of client information that was/is required by insurances to have sessions covered, asking for a diagnosis, attendance, even in some situations ongoing in depth reviews on level of care. This felt intrusive.

I eventually made the decision to have a sliding fee scale based on affordability of the client, I also created a non-profit arm of my practice to cover session costs for those unable to pay. I wanted care to be first, then a discussion of finance. I found in the most recent season of my practice that this type of engagement is 10x more fruitful than having an ongoing rotation of insurance based clients.

“What about clients that WANT to use insurance? Do you decline them?”

Not at all. For clients who wish to use their insurance, I inform them of what insurances request, most decide against it. For those that choose to continue, I provide a superbill and the steps necessary to submit.

Running this type of practice is not for the faint of heart. It is also not for those who wish to make loads of money quickly. There are practices that charge upwards or $300 per session and manage a lucrative business. Then there are practices that focus on the “affordable” aspect of a negotiable sliding fee scale.

I’ve had peers nationwide throw stones at this concept, indicating that I am bringing shame to therapists that “have to make a living”, and thus justifying their well oiled machines. I don’t feel bad about my framework, nor do I claim to push my agenda on anyone else. Instead I praise them for finding their niche!

Each practice is going to have its own framework , structure and philosophy. I spend hours / years providing supervision and consultation to those building their practices and careers. I don’t have the ability to tell them exactly how to create their practice, instead I encourage them to explore their options as I did. I praise them when they find their groove.

Existing in this industry for 10 years , and the non profit world for 15, I can assure you its not going to always look the same. Your practice will ever evolve, and your perspective will change. Leaning on ethics / state statuettes/ Regulations is always helpful. Having a Pioneering and innovative spirit helps as well.

How have you built your practice? What are you boundaries to care? Have you had to be creative in managing your practice?

If you are developing your practice and are looking for guidance, feel free to reach out. pioneercounselingstl@gmail.com

The Connection Between Music and Mental Health

Sat, 17 Oct 2020 22:09:39 GMT

Our senses impact our groundedness (our ability to be centered and be one with our own reality). It can be easy to float in goals and dreams (future attainment), easy to be stuck in the mundane routine of responsibility and familiarity, and even easier to be fixated and stationed in our past memories- cycling through our past personas.

Music is a collective humming , a resonating proof that we are human and that we have meaning. It is a celebration and a powerful indicator that we exist.

Vibration, frequencies, shapes, realities. They are all tied together, related.

Sound is a vibration , from the perspective of string theory, these vibrations are waves, traveling, and existing all around us. Different wavelengths create different frequencies. These frequencies are shapes. Meaning, these frequencies have distinct natures to them. Many recall high school biology, the phrase “form follows function”, or form determines function. It's the same with these frequencies.

If different sounds (waves/ frequencies) are distinct from one another, then surely their functions are different.

With a little research , you'll find these types of frequencies. Alpha Waves, Delta Waves, Theta Waves, Beta Waves.

We make a sound using an instrument . Our mouths, our pianos, our arguments, our wars, our birthdays. These sounds travel from the source and enter into a recipient's space where they use another instrument to collect the wave and translate it. For us humans, our ears collect the wave through tiny fibers and carry those waves to our mind to translate it. It is then that we define what its existence means to us.

“In essence, String Theory describes space and time, matter and energy, gravity and light, indeed all of God's creation ... as music.”

- Author: Roy H. Williams

A deep voice can be very calming to one person but could bring fear or past trauma to another. This is a type of ‘subjective translation’, as I like to term it. It doesn't mean the wave itself is evil or presents evil, nor is it good, but rather it impacts us based on how we translate its reality and its existence. There are the obvious exemptions to this. Meaning sound can be very easily manipulated to cause harm or to cause enjoyment.

Music creates tradition, but it also stirs something deep within our identity. It can shape our reality, and change our outcomes. It is a universal element, a way to communicate those things that are otherwise uncommunicable.

A theme song, a cinematic build-up, an orchestral linger of string instruments all pull at our ear fibers in different ways.

When we play our favorite song , do we realize why it’s our favorite song? Does it strike a memory? Calm your heart rate? Give us energy? Put us to sleep? There is deep meaning behind the phrase “That really resonates with me”.

Creating playlists for different experiences can be a great tool if the above is really true! A playlist for when we’re anxious, or when we are needing sleep. A playlist for needing the energy to work out or a playlist for when we have a broken heart!

When these vibrations translate into our minds, the translations are expressed through chemicals/neurotransmitters. These get pumped through our brain and body, and like most transitional experiences, flush out within 15- 30 minutes.

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” – Plato

Can this impact your mental health? Absolutely! The more precise you can define the problem area or difficulty, the more precise a resolution you can develop. Even to the point of choosing which type of wave vibration to experience to better alter your mood! To more precisely craft your reality!

Looking for treatment planning resources? Check out my article “Top 10 Tx Planning Resources”

https://link.medium.com/0i42KzUVSZ

Leveraging Client Accessibility

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 12 Oct 2019 22:31:00 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

Is it ethical to leverage the accessibility of mental health services?

That’s a loaded question. Of course, if a client ever needs or requests aid, a therapist or counselor must attempt to remove any obstacles in the way of those services. But what about if a clients goal is aimed at building resiliency? Or when a client is beginning to work toward the end of their counseling process?

My children and I recently began watching the new ‘Lost in Space’ series on Netflix. We love space and good storytelling. Most of the shows we watch together have positive narratives where things always work out. Their reaction to the first episode (and episodes thereafter) was very intriguing! The family (younger kids included) find themselves in various dilemmas! Ones that seem impossible to escape! My kids turned their heads away and buried their faces in the couch stating that these kids will not survive! It was as if they believed children and young adults can not have the resiliency to overcome obstacles unless solutions were outlined easily!

Let’s say a new client is needing to talk every other day. This might be justified by the fact of their high risk and need for fairly immediate treatment. Boundaries would need to be put into place. Now, what if this client has been in counseling for a year, and is only meeting once per month, and heading toward their termination session? Does a counselor have the ability to leverage the type and frequency of communication-based on the clients' desire for resiliency and overall well-being?

It feels strange to say that communication can be leveraged for the betterment of others. However, it’s no different than saying that silence is golden.

I have heard of many scenarios play out in the therapeutic alliance. Ones where therapists talk too much, others where clients don’t talk enough. For whatever reason, our communication styles are always fluid and they present opportunities to be mindful and cautious. They set the stage of how relationship dynamics will play out, no matter if it’s professional or casual.

Looking at it more closely, our communication is always being leveraged because it’s a natural response. Our tone, our responses, they are usually based in formulas, upbringings, and conditions.

In my practice I give the following prompt:

“Please know that you can reach out at any point, at any time, for any reason at all. But also know that I may not answer. Use that opportunity to vocalize your need. Just the simple practice of putting thoughts into words and knowing someone will hear them provides a great outlet.”

I have found this prompt grants empowerment, engagement, and leverage. Meaning for those who are practicing resiliency, they can have space and encouragement to both voice their needs and work toward a resolution with the tools they have built thus far in their sessions!

If a client ever exhibits symptoms of regression, then this is not the appropriate response! Completing risk screenings (included in the MSE’s) and setting safety plans in place provides a great deal of benefit! This is why it is so crucial to stay in touch with clients. Thinking that clients are just scheduled bodies that show up for their appointments is not the way to go. It brings lots of money, but not the right thing to do. At least in my eyes.

Here are a few statements I make with clients as needed:

“It sounds like this coming week is going to be difficult. What do you think about checking in midway over the phone?”

“So you’re saying you’re lonely, depressed, and going on a business trip before we see each other in 2 weeks? Would you be able to text or call when you arrive at your destination and track your daily symptoms with me?”

“Let’s connect once (Counseling homework) is complete and see if any change has occurred.”

“If you feel like an anger outburst is coming, consider putting your thoughts into words in a text. I may or may not respond. But it will give us a good map for our next session!”

Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychotherapist, and medical doctor emphasized the training of parents, teachers, social workers in democratic approaches that allow a person to exercise their power through reasoned decision making all the while co-operating with others. He was pragmatic and believed that we can make practical use of the insights of psychology.

By having clients use a tool to convey thought and emotion (using their phone to leave a voicemail or text), they are practicing a naturally Adlerian practice. Adlerians place an emphasis on excavating the past of a client in order to hopefully alter their future. This also increases integration into community in the 'here-and-now'. Being present in an active way!

Most of the time we think of accessibility as needing to be a smooth road. The path of least resistance to treatment. However, most of the time this process seems to be more effective for large organizations turning clients for profit. Getting the quickest treatment to the most amount of people means money, and money keeps the organization running.

In my experience, providing a meaningful process to accessibility rather than the quickest provides a catalyst for deeper buy-in and long term ownership/ goal attainment. For example, insurances ask for diagnosis and a tx plan by the 1st or 2nd session! Meanwhile, just about every therapist has been trained and educated to use various assessments, and have a thorough narrative of the client before giving a diagnosis or Tx plan. Thus we are placed in a paradox! Another example is the prompt to have goals that are client-centered, yet some insurances decline coverage if they don’t meet certain criteria.

When therapy plays by any other rules than the ones ethically and historically laid out and approved, that’s when we begin to see the degradation of services and less than desirable treatment. But when we stick to what we know to be truth and effective praxis, we can confidently interact with our clients and their therapeutic process. When their goals and needs become our basis for treatment, leveraging what treatment method is used and at what frequency no longer sounds like a strange venture.

Looking for treatment planning resources? Check out my article “Top 10 Tx Planning Resources”

https://link.medium.com/0i42KzUVSZ

Top 10 Therapy Tx Planning Resources

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 12 Oct 2019 22:28:13 GMT

There are so many resources out there in the helping field. Books to reference, CEU's to attain, webinars to watch. It can be difficult at times to know which resources to keep near, and which are incidental aids. Fellow therapists and contemporaries would agree, at times it can take a great deal of research to really land on credible resources.

In my experience I have found the one single source of frustration among clinicians is wording their treatment plans. For some agencies tx plans must contain specific language in order for funding to be provided. In other areas of counseling, treatment might be spot on, but putting the methods/ goals into words can be a hassle. The use of resources such as The Addiction Treatment Planner provide a great way to feel more confident about your tx plans, and to provide accurate/ specific interventions to your client!

B elow are 10 resources I have used time and time again. Keep in mind however, using these resources is meant to be a tool, and aid. They are not to take full focus in creating a tx plan. A treatment plan is to be client centered and strengths based. Meaning if one is not careful, the treatment plan may sound scripted.

These resources will give wonderful outlines, but it is always up to you, the clinician to utilize your tool in an integrated manner.

These resources all have links connected to them (click on the image or the title) for easy access in case you wish to obtain them for your practice or agency! You're welcome :)

1) This one is the most obvious. The DSM-5

2) The Parenting Skills Planner

3) The Co-Occurring Planner

4) The Suicide and Homicide Risk Assessment and Prevention Treatment Planner

5) The Chemical Dependence Treatment Planner

6) The Severe and Persistent Mental Illness Treatment Planner

7) Group Therapy Treatment Planner: 2nd (second) Edition

8) The Probation and Parole Treatment Planner

9) The Family Therapy Treatment Planner

10) The Adolescent Psychotherapy Treatment Planner

If you use other resources, let me know! I am always trying to build up a list of go-to's for unique or complex cases. I tend to use these planners because they are backed by the DSM and by the ACA. I can be rest assured Im wording my tx plans accordingly!

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Adjunct Psych professor at Saint Louis Christian College. Performance Improvement Specialist at Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally

Ruined & Abandoned

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Mon, 22 Jul 2019 20:32:57 GMT

We all run into the issue of feeling broken , not being able to see value in ourselves. We may feel like there is no other way of experiencing life. Or even wanting to feel numb, not wanting feelings altogether. Feeling worthless, seeing limitations in life, feeling without option. These thoughts and feelings are not new. Some of the most renowned individuals have experienced feelings of ruin and abandonment.

Those closest to President Abraham Lincoln described him to exhibit profound sadness and even suicidal thoughts, labeling it as “melancholy.” He would at times experience anxiety attacks.

Vincent Van Gogh was reported to have unstable moods and suffered from recurrent psychotic episodes.

Charles Darwin very seldom left home and lived as a recluse.

Charles Dickens was believed to have suffered from severe depression.

Winston Churchill named his depression the “black dog”. He would experience bouts of reoccurring depression.

It’s truly astonishing how mental health continues to hold a stigma. We continue to be shocked at the horrors of our communities. Shootings, drugs, abuse, suicide, all of these things continue to occur and statistically rise yet we find difficulty in collectively addressing the issues until they become epidemics.

For those of us that get it, and see mental health as something to manage, process and appreciate, here are a few considerations in times of struggle.

Remember, the body goes through a chemical change on average every 15- 30 minutes. It regulates and processes fluctuations. Ps, that’s why breathing helps.
Thoughts we have during these times of high chemical imbalances come from distortions, not full truthful realities about one’s self. It’s important to trust something external and larger than one’s self during these times. Having these anchors of truth keep our identity grounded.
Experience or discomfort of spatial and mental singularity (loneliness) tends to leave us feeling hopeless/ helpless. When we run into this, try to think back as early as your grade school. What have been areas of life that you have mastered? Reflection of the skills you’ve mastered and people you have connected with will naturally bring a balance to feeling isolated. It could also provide a meaningful sense of awareness to skills you may still need to attain. Reviewing Erickson’s stages of psychosocial development can be a great way to filter and assess one’s own virtues and lackings.
During these times, we may witness our support system begin to break down. People who we always felt we could trust might not surface when you need them most. If that’s the case, vilifying them won’t make matters any better. Starting from grace always gives us a sensible and wise path. We can develop and explore a larger support system. Doing this will test our resourcefulness and strengthen our decision-making skills.

“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but ‘steal’ some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”

-Albert Camus

While these may be great options and steps, they do not take away the fact that you must walk through it, because ignoring it doesn’t work. Ignoring opportunities for growth and battling internal opposition is what truly destroys us. Apathy is a silent assassin.

I recall a trip where I visited ruins of ancient churches . Churches listed in the Bible, in Revelation. Driving or walking past these sites, you wouldn’t have known they were of any importance. Some were more off the beaten path than others.

These ruins had commonality . Although they each may have had their unique origin stories, had families and leaders, and even generations of stories, they all ended up looking the same. They were all in ruin. They were all abandoned. They were in a state of rubble, laid to waste.

I’ve never been a believer of coincidence. I believe patterns and experiences occur for purposeful reasons. Seeing this rubble was a physical representation of humanity. Showing how iterations of us continue to grow from older versions of ourselves. While our bodies may feel broken, our spirit can continue our story. In times when our spirit may feel pained, our mind can persevere. If our mind is in confusion, our heart can lead the way. We adapt, we grow.

In the realm of developmental psychology , Lev Vygotsky is a name that is studied frequently. Vygotsky defined a theory of cognitive development stressing the role of instruction and guidance. Lev coined the phrase “Zone of proximal development”. This is a cognitive range between what a child can do on their own and what they can do with the help of adults or others more skilled than themselves.

This theory holds a presupposition . It assumes a range between what we can do on our own, and what we’re capable of doing with the help of others. If we isolate our existence; meaning if we isolate how our life balances itself, we do not give it the opportunity to strengthen.

Lies that tell us we are inferior when we struggle , or that our identity is “wicked” and thus worthless when we don’t live up to standards, these distortions keep us limited. They keep us in a controlled environment.

The truth is, in any single situation there exists thousands of realities and perspectives. Experiencing them (or allowing our mind to accept them) is a matter of choice, pure raw and unconditional choice. Having resources, support, and access to choice provides freedom.

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Adjunct Psych professor at Saint Louis Christian College. Quality Management Specialist at Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally

Defeating The Odds

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Mon, 22 Jul 2019 20:28:36 GMT

This marks the end of my travel stories series. I started this series in January 2018 and I can’t think of any better way to end the series than by reflecting on the moments where I felt I defeated the odds. Most of those experiences happened alongside the most impressive of companions. My wife.

In August 1914 the ship ‘Endurance’ sailed from England to Argentina and was met by Sir Ernest Shackleton. Shackleton had named the ship per his family motto “Fortitude Vicious: (By endurance we conquer). The ship left Argentina on October 1914, traveled through heavy ice pack from January to October 1915, and had to be abandoned in November 1915!

Shackleton had his men use the lifeboats to station at Elephant Island as he proceeded with 3 rescue missions. Twenty one men waited, trusting no longer in the ship named Endurance, but rather the endurance they found in their Leader. It took Shackleton 2 weeks just to get to South Georgia. Three months had passed before he was able to successfully rescue his crew in August 1916.

I can remember vividly the moment I discovered my wife in her element. We had experienced so much together through our marriage, but it wasn’t until our trip to Haiti that I saw her leadership, wisdom, and grace all projected beautifully. We led a team from Lincoln Christian University with the intent to work alongside our missionary friends. We had 2 sets of peers in 2 cities that were doing wonderful work! We wanted to help in any possible way.

Like with most Mission trips, there is often a fluidity to itineraries. Last minute hardware purchases, transportation breaking downs, massive tropical storms delaying events, as well as your not so often occurrences like witch doctors casting curses at you from across the street.

We were there post a large earthquake that had devastated the country, and pre-rioting as the government suspending flights going in or out. So we hit the sweet spot, for Haiti anyway. This was all common place for our missionary friends, just another day.

We provided items from our churches to the boys and girls within the ministry. We treated our friends to a few dinners, and were left with a great deal of information about the corrupt state of the country. Most ministries have wonderful optics. The sites, the sounds, the services provided are always impressive. People however, people are messy. There is always hurt if you dig deep enough.

On one of the hottest days, after visiting the beach and swimming in the ocean, my wife and I wanted to provide something unique. We asked our friends what was something they missed from living in the US. Their answer was simple, but quick.

We want window screens!

Window screens? They proceeded to let us know that the windows in Haiti have bars to keep intruders out, but they do not come with screens. Our friends shared that frogs and insects get into the house daily. We loved the idea. So we set off to defeat the odds. Building window screens!

A day later, between my wife’s ability to speak the language, my pseudo carpentry skills, and a team to lend a helping hand, we built window screens. Sure they were bulky, and who knows how long they lasted, but they were built!

Time and time again my wife has been alongside me on these adventures! Providing what I can’t in situations I would not have otherwise envisioned. Missing a bus, renting a stick shift and traveling through the jungles to arrive at Mayan ruins. Locating and installing electrical fixtures in a country that uses a higher voltage. Whatever the adventure, she has been one to encourage, and to battle the odds alongside me.

I have always thought that the process of pushing through and defeating the odds is conceptualized as perseverance. This was something I felt I have always had! It wasn’t until my wife entered the picture that I began to differentiate perseverance and endurance. I may have been able to persist until I met an outcome, but the means at times would not reflect grace. Being married has provided many exercises in endurance. I don’t think that is said often. There is a lesson in forbearance, patience and holding a stoic demeanor in the midst of an unpleasant or difficult process. There is something wise about being persistent in meeting an outcome without giving way.

In our early years of marriage, we would joke about being cursed. At times, it felt as thought if one thing would go wrong, 2 other things would go wrong after it! At first, we would fear these series of instances. After a while it became expected. We called them “The Shaheen 3". In retrospect this was humorous. Now we can see these were normative occurrences that every marriage goes through. It took a great deal to lean on one another, whether it was for perseverance, or for endurance. Where one lacked, the other encouraged.

These are only a few stories, I can’t begin to share the various odds we have defeated thus far. From simple daily struggles, to large concepts that seem to tear marriages apart. We’re not naive enough to think that at times the odds can be inhumanly overpowering. People are vulnerable, easily broken. We have been instilled with a longing to latch onto something bigger than ourselves. For some it might be values. For others its virtues, concepts, or God.

I’m not one to believe in the fates, nor do I entertain coincidence. My reality sits in an absolute and ultimate truth of a Creator. I fall in awe at the divine appointments and stepping stones provided. That feeling when you know something is true, and right, and prepared. This was the feeling I had seeing my wife for the first time, reflecting what I thought then to be a persevering soul. Eager, direct, passionate. I now realize I was looking at a kindred spirit.

Looking ahead, we can somewhat predict the odds. Similar to Shackleton, our family instills its own motto.

“Wisdom is supreme, therefor seek wisdom, no matter the cost, gain understanding.”

We know the odds will continue to exist long after we are gone. Our biggest adventure lies ahead. Framing a legacy to outlast us, and to be exhibited by our children. Looking at life from a 30,000 foot view can be overwhelming. We are all running toward an end. Whether that is Death, Life, God, Desire. When we meet that end, the dirt we kicked up will remain. My hope is to kick up enough dirt to leave an impact.

(Stay tuned for a co-written piece by Amanda and I Reflecting on our time at The Sparrows Nest, an amazing ministry in our local community!)

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Adjunct Psych professor at Saint Louis Christian College. Quality Management Specialist at Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally

Southern Cross

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Mon, 22 Jul 2019 20:25:26 GMT

I’m not alone when I gaze at the night sky and find millions of stars bursting through black. I know there are others looking up, trying to make meaning, or perhaps defining themselves. I remember a time when my perspective was small, ignorant and ready for a new perspective.

Being an advocate of using narrative psychology within my private practice, I find it to be a powerful tool. If you are new to psychology, Narrative Psychology states that human activity and experience are filled with meaning and stories, rather than logical arguments or lawful formulations, its the study of how humans construct stories to process experiences.

My first days in Ethiopia I wasn’t able to push myself out of a poor attitude. Our group had a long week scheduled. We were planning on meeting with individuals experiencing pain with symptoms of aid/HIV. We planned to paint a persons home interior. We also planned on visiting a community of individuals with leprosy. It took a great deal of travel to arrive, and I struggled to control my impulsive thoughts. I was focused primarily on observation. If I didn’t have to participate, I wouldn’t have to fully accept the realities I witnessed.

I felt the basics- appreciation of the privileges back home. Feeling deep sadness for local sicknesses. Desiring to have the power to change the lives of others. Knowing I couldn’t ultimately save the world from timeless pain. These things were all fairly consistent with a churchgoer finding lessons on a first time missions journey to provide various needs in another country. A bit surface level and required tweaking over the years.

It wasn’t until I began talking to the house guard where we were staying that I was taught something new.

He and I began talking about interests . Mine being space. I asked him if he knew of the big dipper, Orion's belt, The North Star. The guard chuckled and said. I can show you something more profound, something you may have never seen before. I was immediately pulled in. What could he show me in the sky that I hadn’t seen before, or hadn’t the ability to see?

I believe everyone should have a broad picture of how the universe operates and our place in it. It is a basic human desire. And it also puts our worries in perspective.

-Stephen Hawking

The guard began to explain that being in the southern hemisphere, there is a different perspective of the sky, a different vantage point of the Galaxy. He pointed up and showed me a constellation. He said “You see that there. You see how the stars form a perfect Cross. That is the Southern Cross. And for us Christians here, it is a reminder of our Lord.”

I was shook.

A reminder of Jesus’ crucifixion , resurrection, passion, hope, love, strung up in the sky for us to behold. A perspective I hadn’t had before. A perspective I didn’t ever want to lose. The constellations original name is Crux, in Latin. Long ago, the constellation was known and seen by the Greeks! Over time and over many processions of equinoxes, the constellation traveled south and became forgotten by most northern inhabitants.

Time and time again various explorers made mention of the constellation. Explorers like Amerigo Vespucci, Andreas Corsali, Emery Molyneux, and Petrus Pancius. Fast forward in time, this spot in the sky reflecting a cross has been used on flags, written about in songs, and held deeply by various mystic cultures. I was entranced! Sure they were millions or billions of miles away, but they were so bright and evident. It seemed like the universe was trying to say something.

There is a concept which states we are the universe experiencing itself. If this was the case, I was in such awe at what I was seeing. From a human perspective, it was just some gas held in space that looked symbolic of an event written in a book. But from a Universe perspective, it was Creation presenting its beauty, strength, and magnitude to another version of itself. Depending on your theology, both or neither can be incredible. After that, the trip was such a learning opportunity. I found gratitude in painting someones home. I found perseverance through the leprosy community. I found the power of human connection through those on their death beds.

You are the Universe experiencing itself -Alan Watts

I often use this account and story with my clients. When we come into a situation or emotion with a singular perspective, we tend to miss out on a great deal of history, presence, and appreciation. We lose more than we gain.

What is a new perspective you have gained?

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Adjunct Psych professor at Saint Louis Christian College. Quality Management Specialist at Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally.

From Russia, But Naked

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Mon, 22 Jul 2019 20:23:12 GMT

Ending up half-naked in another country is something that probably won’t leave my memory. Unlike most half naked stories, this one was for good reason, in my mind anyway.

The train car was wobbling left and right , 13 hours straight! I had the bottom bunk and had the most difficult time adjusting to this swinging motion, back and forth. Closing my eyes helped to visualize the colorful St. Basil’s Cathedral and the Red Square we visited. We had walked through a mausoleum, of sorts, a mummification of a past leader. Can you guess who it was?

On the train ride, I overheard a story told by a group of people.

The story went like this:

A man, on a train, was reading though an old small Bible he had been given by his father who recently passed away. The man grew very bitter about the loss of his father. The man threw the Bible out of the train window which landed near the tracks of a small town. This town never had a bible introduced into the community. A group of children found the book and gave it to their parents. Fast forward a few years and the entire community converted to Christianity and built a church. Sharing this story had the group in awe. We each went back to our bunks and reflected on this story. After a restless sleep, we arrived. We stayed with a few different families each night of the trip, and visited a new church plant.

We listened to each family as they shared their conviction to be part of a spiritual movement. They spoke of a culture that overtime had died and become spiritually null. They shared their fear that years from now Christians will be the minority and churches will be left with no congregants. They shared this was the case already, and that they felt strong enough in their faith to grow a church.

Everything about the church service was simple. Folding chairs, storage of musical instruments, meeting in a room rented from a school. It was small, but the stories were complex, interwoven, and passionate. You could feel something was at work.This group was leaning on their higher power and not on themselves. They weren’t following success, but rather the message God put on their hearts.

“If you let success get to your head, failure will get to your heart” — Tim Keller

At that age, I quickly found the youth of the church. They were a bit older than I and wanted to help me tour their culture. I was invited, in their language, to a hangout for boys only. I received permission, and half an hour later we were in an abandoned house talking about the Bible and how God was working in everyone’s lives.

In a quick turn of events, I was invited into a sweat room where I was introduced to a health practice. This was apparently also the most fun to have on a Sunday night. I had no idea what this entailed but I went with it. The room was growing hotter and hotter, leaving me breathing with difficulty. Those around me were completely naked, but barley visible due to the steam. I, on the other hand, was not as confident or comfortable with my body, and so the underwear stayed on. The air grew even hotter when they all began to count down with their fingers, attempting to inform me to begin running at the count of zero.

“Pyat’, chetyre, tri , dva, odin!”.

The door swung open and everyone bolted down the hall screaming as they jumped! I wasn’t able to see what was at the end of the hall. I quickly realized the end result as I heard one plunge after the next! They called after me, encouraging to jump in. With hesitation I lightly jogged, in hopes of not slipping on the wet tile floor. At the edge of the tile floor was a square pool averaging 30–40 feet deep!

I jumped!

I had never experienced a cold that bit your skin! It was like swimming in a sea of needles. Every move stung my muscles and sent electricity through my nerves. Shivering, I walked barefoot through the snow back to the abandoned house. I tried to warm up without an extra pair of clothes and no towel. There were no plans to return to ‘home base’ as I quickly realized this was a “lock-in”. A piece of information that would have been good to know. I couldn’t believe the element of adventure and thrill this experience offered. The process was part of a culture that focused on spontaneity, and health. I learned this process opens your pores, and then the frigid water cleans the pores! I did in fact feel rejuvenated, but also on the threshold of straight up pneumonia. Luckily, a peer gave me their now wet towel to use as a bed sheet.

Waking up to an even colder sunrise , I didn’t want to bother anyone. I had no idea where I was, but was able to find the nearest bus stop. I boarded the bus and stayed on until I found landmarks I remembered. I connected back with my family to tour the beautiful and historic churches of St. Petersburg! Every street corner was overflowing with vendors selling icons, paintings of saints, and street food. Every other town square had elaborate statues telling the story of their town and battles that occurred in that area.

I don’t remember their names. I don’t remember the specifics of the towns. But what I do remember is the lesson found in legendary experiences. Shared opportunities that don’t easily leave the mind. Whether carved into a statue, orated from generation to generation, or shared through a cultural exercise, humanity will always find ways to relay the universal truths of life.

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Adjunct Psych professor at Saint Louis Christian College. Quality Management Specialist at Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally.

The Affinity of Chaos

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 18:25:55 GMT

Henry Brooks Adams was born in 1838, around the time my Lebanese ancestors were being massacred for being Christians by the Ottoman Empire traveling via Syria. Adams was an American Historian. His father was the Ambassador to London under President Abraham Lincoln. You may also know of his more famous brother.

I love this quote by Henry.

"Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit."

Adams crafted a "theory of history" which was based on the second law of thermodynamics and the principle of entropy. These principles suggest that all energy dissipates, order becomes disorder, and life (or at least what we define to be life) will eventually become uninhabitable.

This can be a scary thought, right?

Chaos!

One person can walk out in the rural plains, look up at the cosmos and shake with fear. While another may be empowered at their place in the universe.

Imagine if you will your 6 year old self. Still young enough to have an adventurous spirit, but old enough to fear certain risks.

What would your life look like if your body aged and grew, but your mind did not!?

Imagine the last injury you obtained, what would have occurred if you did not treat the wound?

Think about the last argument you had, what would eventually occur if you held on to that bitterness?

I’m going to be blunt with you. If you have been reading any of my articles, you ought to know that I can be fairly direct, and honestly, I’m not planning on being apologetic about it anytime soon.

"I’m a big fan of chaos."

There I said it.

I think chaos is beautiful! It’s free-form energy not knowing what do with itself. It’s the unknowns of life colliding at a million miles per hour. It elicits emotion, all sorts! The most stunning thing about chaos is that it provides an infinite potential for a shift in reality, a change.

I understand this may be a bit abstract, but that’s ok.

The thing about chaos is that it can’t be pinned down, leashed, or predicted. Sometimes we may be able to chart the probabilities of chaos, but most often it strikes when we least expect it. Most individuals fear chaos because they fear change. We tend to be a people that desire familiarity, and the comfort of conditioned responses. Differences or changes make us naturally squirm.

Carl Rogers, an American psychologist , had this idea that revolutionized the counseling and therapy world when it came to adolescent treatment. “What if we met the need rather than highlighted the behavior.”

I’ll never forget the first video case study I saw of Carl Rogers holding a session with a middle school boy who was identified, and self-identified, as the “bad” kid in school. He was specifically chosen to be the subject of Mr. Rogers’ video series. The kid discussed the “bad” things he had done and how he justified them. The kid defined these bad things and then concluded he then must also be bad.

Slowly and repeatedly Carl began to make subtle statements that granted the client a sense of restructured identity. “Yes you hit another boy in class, but surely you’re not a boy that is a monster.” “Oh no, I’m not a monster,” said the boy “I was angry.”. Now we’re getting somewhere.

The idea is that if the kid perceived his actions as outside of his own identity, then the action can be isolated and replaced. If the kid identifies as the action itself, then identity restructuring and moral development would be the path to take.

Either way, chaos is king. The adolescent may learn social expectations and responsibility through structured activities and book work, but it will take pure organic learning to teach the spirit and train the mind.

Chaos approaches and something must shift, something must give, something must change.

That change might seem external, but truly it is not the external thing that changes but rather the inner self. It can take many forms and result in many emotions. A car accident, loss, illness, disaster, trauma, these things may not be nice experiences, they truly are not, but they do prompt and encourage response. The change is internal. Reflection, appreciation, resilience, awareness, definition, self-worth, humility. We have these inner structures already, chaos forces us to engage with them.

Our definition of chaos is just as vague and relative as any other concept. One person's tolerance to change or chaos is completely different from other persons. Have you ever thought about why that is? Are there levels of pain, happiness, disgust that are unique, while other levels universal?

We tend to walk about feeling specific emotions, but carry them in basic ways. I often review this emotions wheel with clients that have a difficult time verbalizing their emotions. They cant get more specific than "Angry, Sad, Happy,". The below emotions wheel helps clients pinpoint the specific thing they may be feeling. The more specific we can get, the more precise we can be in processing through said emotion.

In a normative situation, this precision is awesome. Chaos, however, jumbles our world, and our emotions. This method of precision breaks down. The situation becomes overwhelming, bigger than ourselves and our understanding. Resisting chaos becomes counter-intuitive. Opening our arms and welcoming it, seeing it with lenses outside of our selves becomes the challenge and the advantageous response.

The thing is, we ought not to have the privilege of choosing which emotions are labeled as "bad", and which are "Good". Some might not feel nice, others might hurt, but that is the result of the chemical composition in the situation rather than an ultimate and true nature of the emotion.

I would venture to say that all emotion is equally important and equally needed. It would be discrediting to avoid one simply because it causes discomfort. Imagine saying "I'm choosing not to be happy at my sisters' wedding because the level of joy is just too much to handle." Sounds odd, wouldn't you agree?

My ancestors met chaos face to face , they chose to create a new reality for themselves. They left, headed south. A husband, and a pregnant wife. The husband died traveling, leaving the boy to be raised without his biological father. That boy eventually had a family of his own. Fast forward approximately 177 years and here I am. This positions me in a place of courage. Rather than sitting in fear of chaos or even anticipated chaos, I can see it as an infinite opportunity. I can see it as life.

"Chaos, good news!"

Do you agree? More importantly, do you disagree!? I would love to hear your thoughts! Comment below!

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries teaches psych classes as a professor at Saint Louis Christian College and offers Adolescent/ Family Therapy through Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally.

Top 10 Substance Abuse Client Remarks

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 18:08:35 GMT

No matter if you are an international athlete, a high school student, a single parent of 3, or any other demographic, substance abuse will be detrimental to many domains of life.

Substance abuse has left families crippled, individuals homeless, and the teen population at high risk of overdose and potential death. Sometimes it is not immediate, each story is different. Sometimes the substance is laced with another substance, leading to a reaction. Other times it is a slow process, stripping the individual away of all dignity and control leading way to increased depressive symptoms and high risk of suicide.

Regardless of the story, here are 10 of the most common phrases I hear from clients struggling with substance use.

1) "I have no idea how my Urine Sample is showing positive!"

Shocking right?! Absolutely no clue how THC, Cocaine, Opiates, Amphetamines, Benzodiazepines, Phenocyclidine, Barbiturates, Methamphetamines, Methadone, Tricyclic Anti-Depressants, Propoxyphene, Buprenorphine, Alcohol, or Oxycodone happen to show up positive in your body?

Either A) That is a complete lie or B) That is completely true and completely frightening.

It is an odd mix of denial and disbelief. Denial of the existence of substances in the body "I thought it would be out of my body by now" and the denial of ones own identity "I'm not an addict/ substance abuser/ criminal".

It can be hard to swallow what ones own reality has defined them to be. For some they identify as a survivalist. "I have to survive in this world, and this is the only means that makes the most sense to me."

It can be hard to face the facts of the matter; Regardless if it is a therapist sharing this information, a dipstick drug test, or even a laboratory full of scientists that send back the Drug Test results.

For others they may be idealists and philosophers "Substances ought not be illegal." to which the therapist may respond "What a wonderful yet tragic opinion, unfortunately that reality may only exist in the future (or another state). A reality in which we do not live in. Let's review our present reality and how it bodes with this philosophy of THC (or other drugs) you hold dear to your heart."

2) "Do I absolutely have to include family sessions in my recovery?"

- So much of recovery is mixed with fear and anxiety. A little bit of pride, and an ounce of pseudo confidence. There exists the impact the client has had on those closest to them, but the desire to not bridge them closer to the recovery story. The honest to goodness truth is that the client has answered their own question. "Do I have to include family?". You already have! Now lets see how we can continue their involvement, but now in a positive way.

3) "This time my recovery will be different!"

- This statement can carry so many hidden meanings ( I can trust myself more now and don't need accountability! I feel that I'm past the point of possible relapse! I'm disregarding the past data of pattern of behavior, I can handle myself in risky situations.)

Or the hope is that this statement will mean (I trust my DESIRE to remain sober! I have a solid plan of accountability! I have a strong support system! I realize mental health and substance recovery is a life long journey and understand the probabilities of possible relapse. I realize my past patterns and am constantly pulling data to learn from those patterns. I'm implementing new responses triggers to cope with stress and managing my maladaptive behaviors.)

4) "I'm not like the others here."

- "I'm not "As bad" as those around me struggling with substances" This is a very dark statement to make. It suggests a higher perspective of ones self through a sense of superiority, or perhaps even carrying a misinformed narrative of empathy. It is a clamor for escape. A desire to run from ownership and responsibility. It is not necessarily maladaptive, just very primitive and, again, survivalist in nature.

It is true though, to an extent. They are not like the others there. Their story is unique to them, perhaps carries certain elements of generality and pattern, but not a clone of everyone else there. To discredit this notion completely would be to strip the client of their person-hood and identity. So then lets unpack the ways in which your story is different.

5) "I can work on recovery by myself."

- Many clients feel that they got themselves in this mess , so they must get themselves out. This belief is reinforced by parents or family who repeat this remark to the client. The truth is that your thoughts and efforts will fail. While your intention is passionate, your accountability and support system will be stronger. Yes take ownership of your use and recovery, but realize isolation only escalates the patterns of behavior you wish to terminate.

6) "I choose to use, I'm in control of my use."

- How much control do you have each morning when you "choose" which side you start brushing your teeth? You may have control over being intentional of which side, but being intentional and stopping habituated neurological pathways from firing are two totally different things.

Choosing is a very allusive concept. So much of "choice" is impacted by so many elements. Yes we have items to pick from in life, thus we have the option of choosing between paths, items, people, places. The concept of choice is much different than the option of choice.

Marketing firms pay millions of dollars to their Research and Development departments. Millions to scientific observes who survey people, run studies, and conduct probability testing on the masses. The psychology of choice is deeper than a mere picking between A or B.

True choice is a reflection of ones identity. Where do you source your identity? Who do you source your identity from?

7) "How will I stop using, you ask? I will just tell myself to stop!"

- Lets be real. How many time have we told ourselves we will lose 10 lbs, save more money, etc etc. If you tell yourself something enough times, sure you might begin to believe it, but you need more than believing, you need action. You need a safety plan, coping skills, accountability, and a lot of one on one practice. This a one of the basic premises of the stages of change model! Moving through the stages, from contemplation to preparation to ACTION!

8) "I've lost the trust of those closest to me."

- No one believes what you say now because you've lied t o them so many times. That is awful, it truly is. But rather than work yourself up about how awful it is, lets develop some paths to regain trust and build a stronger relational dynamic. Trust is something very fragile, it takes time to build, and seconds to break.

It is not impossible to regain trust , but it takes a great deal of desire, determination, and evidence. We are beings that require evidence for relationship. We cant expect trust, or start from a place of trust. It must be worked on and formed. "Those closest to you" cant trust the "you" you have been, so you will require some external effort to bridge them closer to "you". Perhaps negative Drug Tests, increased family time, decreased conflict, accomplishing life goals could be those external efforts/ evidences.

9)" I can handle myself around my peers who use substances."

- No,,, no you can't. And if you can,, just stop. True friends do not use around friends who are actively in recovery or in a treatment program. I'm not saying ditch your friends and never talk to them again. Peers come in seasons, and seasoned friendships understand that sometimes space is healthy.

This isn't a quest for you to "handle" yourself or your impulses. Its a path of recovery in which identity is structured and restructured time and time again. Placing yourself in high risk environments will only lead to high risk decisions.

10) "I've already messed up, so I kept using, and am going to continue to use."

- Living a life of concrete statements will end up making you rigid and static. Your mind will become inflexible overtime, and that is not even due to substance use per say. That is just you being resistant to your own potential and ability. Giving up on ones own sense of hope is devastating. Apathy is a silent killer.

The above statement ought to prompt therapist to begin venturing into symptoms of depression, meaning, value. A great tool is to play through approximately 10 or so different future realities that could play out based on client life decisions. Detailed realities that the client can define and construct. The mind is a very powerful thing. By simply envisioning these realities, the mind becomes more susceptible to change.

Individuals who struggle with substances often get judged and treated poorly. This can be very demotivating considering these individuals are already hurting themselves in one way, thus it doesn't makes much sense to then also be hurt by external parties.

Regardless what sort of hurt an individual is experiencing, or what sort of maladaptive behavior they are exhibiting, grace is always the first perspective to take in this industry. Grace is the force in which both the therapist and the client will benefit from most.

Geries Shaheen is a Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries teaches psych classes as an Adjunct at Saint Louis Christian College and offers Adolescent/ Family Therapy through Preferred Family Healthcare . Geries holds his BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University. Holding a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online throughout the nation

Death's Remnant

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 18:05:11 GMT

*If you have recently lost someone, please be cautious reading this article.

It happens so quickly, and in so many different ways. One thing is similar in all accounts of death though, they end, and we keep going. At least, we keep going to some degree. We may keep breathing, but feel stuck in an empty life without the person.

Yet, for others, it may be a celebration. No more pain, or having lived a full life. Some deaths are more horrid than others. Some leave a tinge of confusing emotions. Remnants of guilt, despair, pain, fear, and even anger. These are the deaths that leave a chilling void in our hearts. They leave us begging to let go, but screaming to hold on.

This is the wife of the husband who was found on the bottom of the stairs with a knife in his chest.

The sister of the lonely aunt who left her dress shoes at the lake dock before drowning herself.

The mother of the son who overdosed one last time.

The children of the mother taken too soon by depression.

The accounts hold many different details, many different shades. They carry many different reasons to end up feeling a high degree of hopelessness.

Hopelessness is a very real emotion. It holds a dangerous formula. Hopelessness is humanities oldest trick. Without a strong anchor, hopelessness projects the depths of the lost ones emotion and washes it over the person left grieving. Its like a mental cancer. The classic label of copy cat suicides is based off this experience.

The truth about hopelessness is that it is only valid when we choose to not reach for other emotions. It becomes all encompassing, all consuming when we let it grow, and squeeze out any room for other emotions. We find ourselves projecting the death of a loved one onto ourselves and often our higher power. This leaves our identities, and our faith shattered.

A counseling supervisor once told me "Feelings are very real, but they don't have to define reality.". I have let that phrase swim in my mind daily. Why? Because the more I repeat it, the more I grow aware of my existence. The more control I gain over my emotive responses.

It is true, we have the ability to regulate our emotions, to practice distress tolerance, and even erase complete memories out of our mind, but how does that help us process the occurrence? It doesn't! There is no perfect choice for how to process death, or work through grief. There is no timeline, there are no real rules. Which makes the engagement so much more difficult for beings who feed off of clarity and data.

At the end of the day, it is not a therapists responsibility to persuade clients to desire healing, or process death.

If a therapist can persuade a client to desire healing, it means the client can also be persuaded by someone/ something else to desire destruction. Only the client can desire true healing. And they may not want it yet!

The client may find their symptoms familiar, oddly satisfying, or very natural to their grieving process. Often times symptoms of stress do not have to translate as self harm or suicide. While it is not a therapists role to persuade healing, we can implement assessments, offer coping skills, and develop safety plans.

"I'm feeling hopeless" is a phrase that is commonly expressed. A client must ask themselves "What will validate and ensure that this feeling of hopelessness will stay forever? The answer is nothing. Reasons given can be understandable, but they do not have to be true. Humanity gives reason for almost everything. We figure out how things work, and why things happen.

With mental health it is a little more complicated. We may say "I'm feeling hopeless because my wife passed away." which later becomes "I'm hopeless because I'm meaningless without her." which even later becomes "I'm hopeless because now life has no meaning.". What initially was a blanket statement turns out to be a layered thought concept, sourced in untruth.

We tend to avoid our responsibility of working away from hopelessness, we naturally desire positivism to happen to us. We tell ourselves these lies:

"I will only be hopeful when I experience hope and positivism."

"If I don't have the understanding to this negative experience, then the understanding / data does not exist."

We hold on to pain/ fear/ anger because it is the quickest method of filling the void and granting definition to something otherwise confusing and lacking data. We are great at avoidance, and even better at projection. We find ourselves jumping into the pits of despair without a helmet, without armor, without a shield, without accountability. Then we scream at the face of darkness because of how much it hurts.

How then can we be empowered by the remnants of death, the unfinished business of souls departed, the leftover emotions, loose ends, and painful renditions of bygone memories?

Fritz Perls coined a method called the "Empty Chair", and boy is it powerful. Its a simple practice, conducted in session that provides space and time for closing the chapters of past pain. The client is prompted to envision their loved one sitting in the chair next to them and discuss, argue, release their emotions. The process is much more in depth and time consuming than I've written it out to be.

Throughout this process the client can lean on personal truth statements / beliefs, living each day in righteousness (meaning the person lives in a way beneficial to their wellness and the wellness of those around them), promoting peace, practicing their faith, offering themselves opportunities of salvation away from negativity and into positivism. Lastly, carrying a soothing spirit- exhibiting gentleness, kindness, self control, among other attributes.

These are in no way 'musts' in experiencing the death of others, but they can be power movements away from hopelessness. Have you found yourself processing through grief? What has helped? I would love to know!

*The examples used in this post are fictitious and not intended to represent any real person or case study.

Exploring Therapeutic Intent

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:18:13 GMT

People with authority can influence the world in 100 days, marketing Mad Men are able to persuade the world to purchase $1,000 Playoff tickets, therapists on the other hand, well, we're a different bird all together. Therapist are the ones who understood Willy Wonka when he said "Oh, you can’t get out backwards. You’ve got to go forwards to go back." It can be incredibly difficult for the untrained eye to observe subtle patterns, hidden power struggles, and unwanted cognitive distortions.

You would think with those abilities a therapist would want to influence the world. Think again. What is influence truly? We can define influence through the method and lens of Ethos, Pathos, and Logos.

Ethos - This is when people use the platform of ethics and credibility to bring change to a person/ mentality/ situation.

Pathos - This is when people use various emotions (fear management, bandwagon, Repetition) to bring change to a person/ mentality/ situation.

Logos - This is when people use reason and logic (Facts and Stats, claims, general logic) to bring change to a persons/ mentality/ situation.

These are all very effective tools, and truly do influence clients. But is it the source and true definition of therapy?

You may also assume a therapist would want to persuade clients into betterment. Hold your horses.

When you take a deeper look into the art of persuasion, you find a handful of methods that have been proven to work. Persuasion techniques such as Reciprocity, Authority, Consistency, Scarcity, Liking, and Consensus.

Reciprocity - A waiter brings you your check, and includes a mint or chocolate, you are more likely (statistically) to leave a larger tip.

Authority - Someone placed in a powerful position requests something of you, you are more likely to follow through.

Consistency - You are asked to place a window sticker on your car to promote a radio station. You are then more likely to listen to that radio station.

Scarcity - "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an Iphone! Most people have one, and their lives are so much better for it. You, on the other hand, lack an Iphone." This technique plays on the element of void and fear. I don't have xyz, so I must attain it.

Liking - Someone gives you compliments and positive reflections, you are more likely to continue being around them.

Consensus - A hotel room door sign reads "75% of guests reuse their towels to help the environment." You are more likely to reuse your towel.

All of these techniques work to persuade people.They exist all around us in many different ways. But is that the crux of therapy?

This leaves us with what I believe is the most reflective term in defining therapy- Empowerment . That is where, in my mind, true health exists. When a client feels empowered, understood, accepted, ...

Empowerment revolves around the client , not the treatment or modality. At the end of the day I am not aiming to influence my clients, or to persuade my client. My source of therapy is to empower. Empowerment plays on empathy, mirroring, exploring sources of self value and self strength, and developing the inner self in face of the external world.

I was raised towards the end of a generation which believed you must pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. I harp on how harmful that mentality can be. However, in treatment it could be very effective to define what bootstraps are, and possible methods to get them up. This could include, but is not limited to, the development of self reliance.

Empathy

Brene Brown does a fantastic job explaining empathy. She frames it around the idea of crawling down into the client's pit and sitting with them, versus just looking into the pit the client is sitting in, Empathy is not something you show, but rather something you exhibit, or embody. The difference means saying "Wow, this dark pit is lonely, I can understand that." rather than "Wow, that stinks that your in a lonely pit, at least you're still alive!?"

Mirroring

If you haven't had the chance to watch Fritz Perls in a therapy session, please take a moment and watch how he holds up a figurative mirror and sometimes even mimics the clients behavioral mannerisms. Mirroring shows the client their selves in a reflective way. This grants the client the ability to filter out what benefits them and what doesn't. This helps the client to understand and develop their self.

Fritz Perls & Gloria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBqk-TZCpFA

Self Value / Self Strength

After a few sessions, I develop "life timelines" with clients. We roll out a long scroll of paper, and make a line down the center. The first dot is the day they were born, the dot furthermost to the right is present day. Placing major life events on paper offers a great deal of clarity! A client is able to see their hurt, and their joy. Their weakness and their strengths. It is easy to pin point weaknesses, they stick out like a sore thumb. Strengths however can be tricky, which is why this timeline is so powerful. The points of weaknesses do not solely exist by themselves. After every weakness or heartache exists the next movement in life. A new job, a partner, improved health, a degree, etc. You can find drives, attributes, supports, all through this timeline. Then, the most beautiful part, the client is able to draft or script their own narrative. "What will the next dot be on this page?! Write it!

Inner Self vs External World

Dallas Willard was an American philosopher who developed a model of self thinking that I believe is incredibly valid. Through his model he posed the question, "what is at our center?". The model showcases a circle within a circle, and so on until you see a dot in the middle. The idea suggested what is at our center fuels what impacts us, and how/ if we impact the world!

here it is

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FQ4MxhOn2EA/Td75csA6IzI/AAAAAAAAAcI/I2aNtv--RcQ/s1600/dwperson.png

Willard coined the model Spheres of Influence. The model itself appears very spiritual, which is not a bad thing. However, this model can be used in many different ways. It can showcase what is at the center of our selves, and then offer the opportunity to replace it with something stronger, tweak it, accept it, come to terms with it, be angry by it, etc. For some, their inner self is power, compassion, Jesus, instincts, drive, a memory.

Once this happens, the individual is more equipped and empowered to allow this inner self to impact the external world, rather than live constantly under the weight of things from the external world impacting them.

Disclaimer: In this effort to empower others, we must keep a firm grasp on legalities, self harm or harm to others, clients well being, etc.

So here is a parting question for you!

Have you learned your client deeply enough to come from their moral ground? If a persons mentality is not in their own best interest or actually harms their well being, do you feel trained enough to work on restructuring their perspective in a non biased manner? If so, how have you done this? I would love to know of any tools or techniques!

Off-Trail

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:17:02 GMT

Reclaim Your Cadence

Her husband left on the morning of her birthday. She was expecting breakfast in bed, that was the ritual anyway. They hadn't been married very long, 3 years to be exact. Why breakfast in bed you ask? This was what his mother was given on her birthday every year. She came to expect kindness on her birthday, but abuse the remaining 364. She was bitter. She wasn't upset, or angry, but bitter.

"What's wrong with me"

This was her constant thought. As each day passed she didn't deal with work problems as well as before. She's stuck working with a power struggle that doesn't even exist anymore. Her unhappiness is constant. She seems to be unpleasant in every situation. She was a doormat. She had been conditioned to not have power. She hadn't felt power in her life, in her marriage.

She is not having a meaningful or effective cadence in life. Where once there was a heartbeat to her story, now exists apathy and rumination. She got off track. Off a healthy path.

We all find ourselves there from time to time , in some degree. Forgetting to give ourselves pregnant pauses between each transition or life event. We rush through drawing meaning. This is often a trend that is carried into the therapy session. Clients rush, turning from one life crisis to another. If we're not careful, we forget to narrate and begin to fall deeper into the clients rabbit hole.

Rather than trailing off, therapists can aid in sourcing where the client got off track. Erik Eriksons stages of development is an extremely powerful reflective tool to see which virtue the client was frozen from acquiring. Hope? Will? Purpose? Competence? Fidelity? Love? Care? Wisdom?

*See link

Eriksons Stages

This can be a very empowering exercise! But what then? She now has power but she doesn't know how to use it! The client can build on this virtue, this power, and use it as a tool not a weapon! She doesn't have the manual for this new tool! Most times, clients are not ready to use these new found tools, this new found power. Most times they will resist.

Pain can be a familiar experience, and not an emotion clients will move away from very quickly. Resistance leaves the client in familiarity, even if it brings pain. Similar to cleaning a fish tank, the water has to be conditioned, set at the right temperature, otherwise it will be too much for the fish to handle.

Resistance keeps the client going down the same path rather than getting back on the healthy path. People demonstrate their power (control) by staying where they are, in that familiarity and pain. Clients will express they are in pain and feel like there's nothing that they can do. We have the honor of reflecting that darkness.

"I see you in misery"

There seems to be a woundedness with clients who have low self esteem and self image, which is unfortunately translated as defectiveness by themselves and those around them. Where did the client get the message that they are so valueless? And is the answer truly that important?

As effective therapists, we can stare into the abyss with our clients, but we don't stay there for long, we move to hope. Neither we, nor our clients can appreciate the hope until we see the darkness in which they came from. The hope is found in confrontation, fairness, justice.

This is the work, re-scripting the meaning and impact of conflict!

We value safety and belonging, virtue and meaning. However we seem to need to take control over these things, over most things in life.The truth is, having input and influential impact over ones life is much different than the destructive tendency to desire full control over all aspects of life.

As a therapist, are you comfortable making people feel uncomfortable? Are your clients comfortable with discomfort? When clients find themselves utterly lost on their path, their nose stuck in a map that goes nowhere, we can aid in taking the first step back to where they left off.

Navigating Spirituality in Therapy

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:15:11 GMT

No matter if you are from Yemen, Syria, or Tennessee , as a functioning human you operate within a set ideology and carry some understanding of spirituality. Even if that ideology includes a lack/ void of spiritual belief, the understanding of that reality exists. Our world currently seems to be participating in a timeless banter involving ideologies, beliefs, and in turn spirituality.

Since we don't all live in "Lalaland" , this banter impacts some people in deeper and more real ways than others. Regardless of ones political opinion, this impact can leave people hurting and in pain.

As therapists, how do we navigate spiritual development, or at least the spiritual domain, within our practice?

From my perspective, The most lacking part of the mental health world has been the spiritual domain. We focus on the physical, the chemical, the biological, the cognitive, etc, but we often disregard the spiritual. I think it is because as an industry, we fear it.

Historically, there have been progressions in spiritual inclusion . Take for example the 12 step movement. 12 step programs highlighted and encouraged acknowledgement of a higher power. An amazing colleague of mine recently put it this way.

"Even if you can't label, define, or fully understand your higher power, you can at least humble yourself enough to know you are not that higher power yourself."

This acknowledgement is powerful and identity shaping.

- Without 12 step programs, without this mentality, where would we be today as an industry?

-Just about every major psychological theorist from the inception of the discipline carried some sense of spiritual background or domain.

-A true wholistic (holistic) and integrative approach would include the entirety of mental health, this would mean to include a spiritual component.

-A true Client Centered approach would include spirituality as well. To be truly client centered means to explore the spiritual domains when clients have requested it. Is this something our industry has been promoting? Is this something you are trained in?

During my studies at Lindenwood, I learned that Freud built the door of psychological discipline, Jung turned the handle, and everyone after began walking through building upon that work. We have moved into, through, and I believe now potentially past the work of the 90’s-2010’s. I believe my contemporary therapists find themselves exploring a more spiritually based approach. We find ourselves swimming through ideologies and relativistic/ subjective mentalities.

5 Aspects of the spiritual domain in counseling to keep in mind.

1) Take into consideration the client’s phenomenological (or subjective) reality. This is your mind's eye. I personally believe people can live within these realities, but still operate under the ultimate truths around them. The ultimate truths which appear to be outside of their control. Ultimate truths such natural order, instinctual drives, scientific laws, etc.

2) Aid the client to be an active participant in their own reality. People may come from a perspective believing that their identity is solely shaped by external factors, experiences, people, or forces beyond their control. While that reality truly exists, a client can still be an active participant in how they shape their lives, and how they interact with their lives. As an aid, therapists can use cognitive behavioral therapy to restructure this way of thinking. The way that cripples people in feeling like there is nothing they can do about their identities and forces they experience.

3) Work toward defining spirituality with the client, or void of spirituality. Defining a void can be a very empowering venture. Definition is a beginning step toward motivation. How would someone fully engage in a spiritual domain, without first having a spark or energy to motivate them? Definition does that. When a domain in life is defined, it gives birth to purpose, ingenuity, drive, hope, meaning, and ultimately harmony/ balance.

4) Explore spiritual identity, spiritual formation . Often clients may be sifting through life struggles believing that self reliance is the only possible road to a healthy outcome. They may be missing a piece of their identity. They may be operating without having a formed perspective of their spiritual selves. Based on whichever source they explore, a persons spiritual identity can offer a reality free from absolute self reliance. This allows clients to remove the burden and weight of certain life struggles and process through them from a larger, self- less perspective. A perspective outside of their subjective reality (which may actually be harming them.)

5) Remove bias - offering a therapeutic space to explore the depths of ones spiritual identity requires the therapist to remove any bias which may linger in the therapist's’ mind. The therapist is to be positioned as a shipmate, not the captain. This does not mean a therapist can not self disclose or carry their own spiritual identity. Rather, it means that a therapist would have to be compassionate and respectful enough to not pressure their spiritual truths onto others. There will exist a natural and genuine expression of the therapist identity (as they are indeed ethically obligated to be genuine), however this genuineness is not to be translated or expressed as conversion therapy.

Like the pioneers of yesteryear, lets continue paving an efficient and effective road in our industry! Not moving in fear, but rather confidence and determination to be our best selves as we work with clients to become their best selves.

These 5 aspects scratch the surface of this topic . I do not know what our industry will look like, or how we fully desire to shape it. If you have found elements of spirituality within your practice to be beneficial, comment below!

Holistic Tx

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:13:49 GMT

7 Rules of Thumb

The concept of holistic treatment in regards to mental health is not new. I would venture to say that from the first dialogues between Freud and Jung there has been a force pushing the counseling world further toward client centered therapy. However, it seems historically, and currently, this endeavor continues to present ever changing challenges.

When I define "Holistic" in this article, I am not honing in on fringe elements of unsupervised care with herbs and such. Rather I am wandering on the edges of "Whole Person" treatment, attempting to better define the modern day cliff of what it means to be client centered.

I have had the privilege of working with a variety of mental health organizations, as well as organizations who deeply value mental health. Through these experiences, I've picked up general rules of thumb when attempting to offer holistic treatment, and its challenges.

General Rules of Thumb

1) When offering a holistic (client-centered / all encompassing) approach, look at all the basic domains of life, and then filter down. You may begin by assessing the needs of the individual, focusing on the cognitive, emotional, and behavioral goals the client desires to work on (these are usually preferred by insurances). This doesn't mean to skip over other domains, ie; physical, biological, spiritual, chemical, etc.

For the three most basic domains, take this into consideration:

Cognitive - The clients way of thinking- assess for cognitive deficits, or lies one tends to tell themselves.

Emotional - The existence or lack of stability, balance, emotive verbalization, definition, exploration within the client.

Behavioral - How the client wishes to decrease maleficent behavior, while increasing beneficial behavior.

2) Include family if appropriate- if the client desires, or your practice offers, all encompassing care such as family therapy.

3) Screen for suicide, homicide, ideation, and other risks. Look for significant changes since last session. Complete mini MSE's (mental status exams) in your head, watching for mood/affect etc.

4) Does the client require psycho-education- most of the time clients do. Are you trained to give it?

5) Does the client require coaching? What does that mean? Well, perhaps meeting with the client once per week for therapy is working well, but the client desires daily maintenance, motivation, dialogue. That is where a life coach can be handy.

6) Does the client require a chemical balancing. So medication? Have they seen a psychiatrist, a physician? Have they completed blood work?

7) Is your treatment measurable? Here's how you can make objectives measurable, have a baseline and add numbers. It's that simple! You can use a likert scale, assign completion of lists, have client complete an assessment or quiz to measure comprehension or progress.

The Problem

Often with most counseling practices and facilities the focus has fallen predominately on insurance companies. The means in which services can be financed and placed as a layer of accountability has turned into the service itself. Which honestly is somewhat worrisome.

Therapist do their best to find a balance and ultimately make the session feel less "insurance requirement" driven and more client focused.

Steps in this balance have included utilizing collaborative documentation, which helps. If you are not sure what collaborative documentation is, check out this link! I wonder though if it is a band-aid on something much more deeply impacting?

Other therapists have ditched accepting insurances altogether and offer sliding fee scales. This has helped as well, but it doesn't completely rid a therapist of accountability. Which is good. All therapist are held accountable by the ACA (American counseling association) and are ethically held accountable by the state itself as an LPC. This accountability also requires certain degrees of time consuming paperwork!

Is there a way to decrease the effect of paperwork on treatment and treatment planning?

I think so! I have an idea, and it may be frowned upon, so good thing it's just an idea.

The future & meaning of holistic

Life doesn't exist within an office, and neither should therapy.Life exists at home, it exists around food, it exits in transit, at events, schools, around moments of inspiration and possibly even chaos!

Education at one point was conducted while walking alongside philosophers, discussing subjective realities and supposed universal laws of man and universe.

Preachers once titled their mode of spreading the gospel as open air preaching, conducted outdoors to the masses with an event feel.

Tribes would have an elder that young men and women would seek out for guidance. They existed in the same village. With a collectivist mentality that truly believed the motto "It takes a village."

So what is my idea?

Rather than a planned treatment , perhaps we have treatment start out generic, and is then developed both In-Vivo (in the moment, in life, in their life) and documented by the client in a therapy journal (whether digital or print). This journal is read during session and shared with the therapist.

And where would the session be might you ask? Everywhere! Anywhere! It can be mobile, stationary, in home, school, online, offline, etc.

It is a complete client centered and client focused approach which can include everything needed within it, worked on by both parties at any point, and frees up the client and therapist to go about sessions in the most natural of ways rather than having to focus on heavily structured processes.

What do you think? Is this crazy? Is it sketchy? Is it manageable? Effective? What about your ideas? What has worked for you?

A 'STRANGE' PARADOX

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:08:32 GMT

I have experienced a strange paradox, a duelist conflict, time and time again. I wonder if you have experienced it as well. This irony revolves around desiring to live in a very naturalistic manner, wanting very specific things in life, but not willing to operate from intentional motives. Actually, I know for certain I am not the only person who has had this experience. Many of my past clients have expressed this exact conflict.

It always starts with the desire itself.

Client:"I want for him/her to talk to me more often."

Me:"Have you asked him/ her to do this?"

Client:"Well, no, if I ask then it no longer becomes natural."

Me: "Wouldn't it still be worth it to ask?"

Client: " I just want them to do it naturally, if not, then they don't mean it."

For some strange reason, we tend to fall for the assumption that if a behavior is requested, it then lacks genuineness or meaning. This places us in a trap. We become imprisoned to our own definitions of genuineness and meaning rather than positioning ourselves in trust of the other person.

How come? If there truly exists this deep void of communication or validation, wouldn't we be positioned to radically accept those things when given? Even if its more intentional than natural? What's the big deal about the concept of something being 'natural' anyway? Nature tends to be chaotic, unpredictable, and often dangerous.

Nature makes us feel small, insignificant, and lacking control over what may happen to us. That doesn't seem to be of benefit. What sounds more beneficial is intention. It comes from a place of order rather than chance.

Intention requires thought, decision, discernment, time, energy, and effort. Intention requires relationship. Nature requires nothing. I'm no Doctor, but personally I have never witnessed benefit, care, love, or meaning, come from nothingness. It has always been more complicated. It has been a story. It has been a relationship.

So the next time you hear someone say they want your love to be "natural", ask them what they really mean! Do they want the love to be dangerous, by chance, chaotic, unpredictable? Perhaps what they are really expressing is something about themselves, and not your lacking.

"I desire to feel loved in certain ways, and right now I am not experiencing those ways."

Or maybe.

"I am carrying around this void, and I would like for you to satisfy said void."

Nature can be defined by a bright sunny day, or a dark stormy night. Without intentional expression, without communication, you never know what you may get!

This leaves us in a very empowering position . With this intrinsically focused motivation and external and intentional expression, we get to construct our realities. We get to source those realities in truths, in love, in value, in virtue.

You become an active participant of your own reality! How awesome!

Viktor Frankl put it this way

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

You may see the world around you in one way. This is just one singular perspective. One perspective among 7 billion +. You have the choice to continue living in a singular and linear manner. Or, you have the ability to have a multi, supracultural perspective.

Construct your day. Draft your intentions. Imagine all the possible alternative realities you could be living, whether regarding specific decisions, seasons of life, or anything really! Equip yourself and train yourself to live naturally, by living intentionally. Both can exist, mutually benefiting one another. When you become strong in this skill, life becomes a marvel!

Romans 12:12

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

MASKED MANIA

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:07:51 GMT

Whether you are wearing your team jersey for the World Series, plan on painting your face for the NFL 2016 season, or going to purchase a Donald Trump costume for Halloween, the season of 'masks' is upon us!

You may not wish to be as gruesome in your costume as "The Walking Dead" was in their first episode of season 7, but you will more than likely find yourself confronted with cloaked children requesting candy. Which may be just as grueling in its own rite.

Once a year our society deems it appropriate to mask our identities and replace our faces with those of demons, witches and Donald trumps.

While scary and entertaining , we are reminded that we tend to wear masks outside of just Halloween. For many, a fear of being found out reins prevalent during the entire year.

Impostor syndrome is a term coined in 1978 by Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes. This syndrome was referring to high-achieving individuals who had an inability to internalize their accomplishments and so carry a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Even if there was evidence of their competence, they would still live in fear. People exhibiting the syndrome constantly believe that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Therefore, they wear masks. These masks make them feel superior, or adequate. A great deal of effort and time goes into constructing and believing these masks.

This may not be the reality for everyone. Which is why I would like to share another example of how we all naturally wear masks.

Carl Gustav Jung was a psychiatrist from Switzerland. Jung was also a psychotherapist and founded analytical psychology. His work has pointed to the concept that we all wear masks most of the time. He termed these masks personas. Jung described a hand full of these personas.

Shadow - This is the darker side of our personality. The side we tend to keep hidden. We wear this mask when pushed or uncomfortable. Most often we put on this mask when we lack data and are confused.

Anima - This is the feminine archetype that is found exhibited by man. The soft gentle expression of femininity, unique to the male sex. This mask is an intentional expression of care. A soft spoken engagement or patient understanding that is deemed as lacking naturally in men. This mask is most often worn when positioning oneself to be seen as caring or concerned.

Animus - This is the masculine archetype that is found or expressed in women. The animus is portrayed as a strength figure. Displayed of courage, toughness, or aggression. This mask is utilized as a means to establish safety, or even superiority over another individual or environment.

Self - This mask attempts to synthesize all the above. It can be tiring to either merge all together, or continuously switch from one to the other.

These masks are worn based on the pressures or expectations of the social environment.

Jung believed we wear these masks for various reasons:

To Identify - adapt, prepare, integrate, define.

To Disintegrate - survival after being worn down from collective ideals

To Negatively Restore - patching owns reputation when seen as opposite of what is collectively accepted.

To be Absent - ignorance, blind of reality, live in fantasy

To Restore - transition, develop new identity or new expressions.

The problem with all this mask wearing , whether literally or psychologically, is that it meddles with our expectations of human appearance and behavior.

Masks distort our appearance. They make us look strange. They make us look other than what we were designed to be.

Wearing a mask changes our behavior as well. After a while it becomes easier to live out the character we are portraying rather than our true selves. Which is absolutely frightening. When the wearer acts in accordance with the masked character, they are losing more and more of their true selves.

Be mindful this Halloween season! As you wear the mask of fear or entertainment, and as you work through the pure definition of your own self vs your masked self, don't get lost! Have a guide! Secure a source of reason and foundation to your true identity.

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes" - Carl Jung

MR. ROBOT

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 21:05:15 GMT

Virginia Satir was a very effective social worker who was later given the title "Mother of Family Therapy".Virginia developed a framework in which to categorize communication styles, and in turn client narrates that may be hidden. One of these communication styles was called "The Computer". Perhaps you are in this category.

"The Computer" is very correct and proper and displays no emotion, usually masking feelings of vulnerability. Often they appear cold or unfeeling, hollow like a tin man. A "computer" can have many emotions inside while appearing collected and rational on the outside. They respond with value judgments and usually believes that everyone agrees with them. I also like to call this "Tin Man Syndrome".

One major problem is that "The Computer" can get fed up with holding it in, or may become confused with their intention of holding in all these emotions. These experiences of masking emotions become overwhelming to the breaking point. "The Computer" will explode in a single emotion, for example: Anger.

When a client focuses on secondary emotions, such as anger, it gives way for this very discussion. When we break down the process we find an individual who is converting a primary emotion such as; fear, stress, anxiety, frustration, loneliness, confusion, insecurity, shame, guilt, embarrassment, rejection, devalue, inadequacy, fatigue, depression, hunger.

Let's instill hope! There is a belief that anger is a more powerful expression than others. A belief that says if I act with anger, the discomfort will go away. That perhaps the "bad thing" will stop. And it truly may, but boy is it a temporary fix. The bottom line is that it is an avoidance technique to bypass the primary feeling. We know that when identity is threatened, it will resort to primitive defense mechanisms, anger being a byproduct.

What do you do when someone is trying so hard to avoid a very real emotion? Examine it of course!

Begin by working with the client to list out at least 15 primary emotions. In session, talk about alternative behaviors. Do some Gestalt empty chair work. Grant the opportunity for "the computer" to voice its mind. Then have them speak for the perspective of each emotion. See what the "Disappointment" voice has to say. See what "Fear" has to say. See what "Shame" or "Rejection" bring to the table. Request the client to truly embody each emotion. Begin to interact with these emotions.

While the midbrain is saying "I have to run out of here! It's too stressful!" (expecting the cortex to sort it out), the above process slows things down a bit. By doing this, the client is processing through fear and focusing on identity formation.This is very impactful because it stills hope!

Lets establish goals. So now that the session has moved from the abstract to the tangible, the more manageable the experience will be. The more etherial the process, the more problematic and nebulous it will be. A few practical ways to connect the abstract to the tangible is by referring the client to have a CBC (Complete Blood Count) completed. This way all the cards are on the table, ruling out thyroid issues, blood sugar etc.

Calls to action may include making note of triggers, self narratives, and environments associated with anger responses. Stopping when anger begins to build and taking a mental scan of ones chemical reaction. Requesting others to describe how they see the client in moments of anger.

The true challenge is training ones self to go inward when feeling concentrated emotion rather than outward. Keeping in mind everything is an opportunity to learn about oneself.

Need scriptural backing? Here you go. Then comment below! What approach do you take with anger? Do you think you may be a "computer"?

Ephesians 4:26-31

26 “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

James 1:19-20

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Proverbs 29:11

11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.Proverbs 19:11 11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Ecclesiastes 7:9

9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Proverbs 15:1

1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.Proverbs 15:18 18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.Colossians 3:8 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

End of line

Top 10 Couples Counseling Remarks

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 20:10:41 GMT

1) "It feels like we're roommates."
It's that feeling when you "just exist". When your identities become like two ships passing in the night. Sure you do your part; the chores, the wifely or husbandry duties, present with familiar responses and predictable retaliations. You become robotic. You become detached. When this happens and you have passed the threshold of detachment, it becomes easier to blame the other person. You may find yourself painting them in a darker light. Vilifying the individual becomes very easy.

Prompt : Considering you are aware of your portion, perhaps that is where you can start. Whether or not your partner is "just existing" or operating as a roommate does not mean you have to reciprocate. You are only responsible for your actions and reactions. The only thing you can truly control is your response to your environment.

2) "I cheated because my needs weren't being met."
Your needs are completely valid. Perhaps you have found yourself lost in the relationship, having to be left without fulfillment or satisfaction. You found yourself on a gradual path toward seeking to meet your needs elsewhere. While your needs are valid, at some point it causes pain for the other party. This leaves you taking on a role that is superior to your partner. It becomes a decision to split away from your commitment in order to have your own desires fulfilled. This also has left you, yourself, broken. A piece of you is now fractured considering you were willing to break a commitment. Much healing is required on both fronts and as a relational unit. The person who cheated requires healing, the person cheated against requires healing, the person cheated with requires healing, and the definition of the couple as a unit requires healing.

Prompt : Considering the past in now placed in a concrete and fixed position, we are not able to fully erase the occurrence. However, each person can focus on their process of healing, their own journey. At some point those two paths will merge back to one if truly desired. It may be beneficial to start off with an agreed decision, a solid rock decision of what each person truly wants or needs at this point. From there the message will be clear, and you can better focus on the method of those roads toward healing.

3) "He/ She always sides with the kids!"
If the mentality has now become so two sided that kids are thought of as a source of negativity, it may be time to take a step back and restructure your perspective. You are lying to yourself if you believe there are sides to chose from. This is usually a primitive response associated with blame. We begin to believe that there absolutely must exist a scapegoat in order for our feelings to be justified or considered. People tend to find the most vulnerable placeholder to target. When we point to innocence as being the scapegoat to our problems, rather than take ownership of our portion, we in turn became the very children we are blaming.

Prompt : If you find yourself saying something like "You always side with the children, you never consider me." perhaps look in a mirror for a few minutes and really think about what you are saying. After you have done so, start your conversation with your partner over again with something like "I often do not feel heard which in turn makes me feel unloved. Can you help me understand if this is true.". Use big people words, not grunts, huffs and puffs.

4) "I am not given opportunities to lead/ He is not leading me."
So you have found yourself not being given ample opportunities to take charge! Or perhaps the opposite, you are not feeling led. First question to ask yourself, "Have I made it clear that I desire to lead?", or " Have I made it clear I require leadership?". If not, perhaps what you are truly experiencing is a communication breakdown due to passivity rather than a deep desire to lead/ be led. The first step in either desire is to be courageous enough and humble enough to do something about it. The trick then becomes to merge courage and humility within the confines of your unique couple dynamic/ relationship.

Prompt : Begin by sifting through all the emotive words you have stored within yourself. Express them. Next sit down and jot out your identified fears and develop boundaries from those fears. This draft will be your charter within your relationship. A role identifier.

5) "I have lost my identity. I don't know who I am anymore"
Years can pass in what seems like days. One day you are at the wedding alter or on your first date, the next you find yourself 10 years into a relationship forgetting why you are even in love with that person. It happens. We tend to gravitate to the routine, the familiar. We end up floating down the river of life and finding ourselves operating on autopilot. We slowly and gradually lose pieces of ourselves. It becomes harder to remember, embody, and live out our true identities.

Prompt : Reflect on what parts of your life are Anchors. Those things that keep you grounded. The ultimate truths about your self that provide bumpers for who you are and who you are not. Not sure if you have those things? Then start developing them now and put them into practice! Slowly but surely a new structure to your identity will begin to solidify.

6) "This is our last resort before divorce."

So you have tried everything. You have run out of options. All is futile. Yes I believe that you have put in a great deal of effort and time in figuring things out. However, the first step is to truly decide to either be fully committed, or not. You can not begin walking down a road you haven't decided on. Many desire to walk a road and be effected by external factors. Treating external factors as indicators or evidences to validate their decision. The opposite is more beneficial.

Prompt : Make a committed decision, one road or the other, and have that decision impact the external factors rather than having the external factors impact you. You have to know the foundation rock on which you stand in order to make that initial decision. If you can't make one, then perhaps you must dig deeper and fully understand your identity before making a life altering decision.

7) "He/ She is always on their phone."

Tools can be used to create and destroy. What more powerful tool than your phone. It transcends individuals to a place of power. Individuals become omnipresent. With a skype, or google hangouts call you can be in multiple places at once. Individuals become sovereign entities, having full control over their online domains. With the ability to control who engages with them and what is being discussed. Individuals become imminent, actively and immediately engaging with their social circles. Individuals become semi omnipotent, being able to make things happen, will their realities. They increase in omniscience, googling just about any question they may have. Gradually finding our identity in these god like attributes can leave people chasing after the wind.

Prompt : Work on finding a balance in life. Draw or write out your spheres of influence. How and where do you devote your time? Technology is not a "bad" thing. It is incredible! But what is more incredible is the person siting right next you, looking down at their screen. What does finding a balance in life look like? I'll give you a hint. It has less to do with screen time and more to do with physical face time.

8) "I don't trust him/ her. "

Trust is the hardest thing to build. It takes so much effort and time. It can quickly be destroyed. You don't want to be "walked all over" but you also understand the other person's struggles. You have positioned yourself to give half of yourself, knowing at any given time you could pull away and be fully broken. So much effort for something that is a facade of trust. If you think about it, all the work and effort that is placed in NOT trusting someone, could be calibrated to begin a path ending in trust. Because we are human and require visual stimulus to engage our mind and our heart, we tend to desire evidence for change. We want enough evidence of non painful experience to overshadow the past or potential pitfalls.

Prompt : Instead of being half in half out, mentally decide one or the other for a short while. Test drive your emotions and see how you respond. Does giving the cold shoulder actually get you the healing you desire? Does engaging in sex with your partner alleviate the pain? More often than not, the story is deeper than that. Develop opportunities of evidences. Structure your relationship to intentionally include moments of trust building. At the end of the day trust is a mix of chemical and spiritual ingredients. Start writing the cookbook to your relationship.

9) "How do I know they wont hurt me again? "

The short answer to this is that you wont. You wont know if your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, father, mother, sister, uncle, wont hurt you again. You will never know how external factors and variable will operate because we truly do not have full control over those factors. The only true factor we have control over is our self, our responses, our minds. Not knowing if you will get hurt again places you in a nebulous and fearful position. You begin to live in the unknown and paranoia may kick in. Anxiety will increase, and you will feel debilitated. Not a very healthy quality of life.

Prompt : Don't live in fear. Live in truth. It can be easy to allow others to structure your responses. Allowing someone's actions, or your past hurts to control your current and future reality strips you of your dignity. It makes something else in control of you. You no longer become autonomous. Rid yourself of this mentality. Don't feel safe? Seek safety. Don't feel heard? Be heard. Don't feel accepted? Dialogue through the why. If it's too much for that someone to accept you and love you, then find acceptance elsewhere. You are too valuable and precious to live any moment of your life in fear.

10) "This experience has been helpful. Not horrible, or amazing, but beneficial."

Experience makes up the gritty work of counseling. It can be hard, sometimes even messy. The experience, the process sheds off the layers leaving people vulnerable if they are willing to be. By the time the process is over there is a realization. No one was the good person, no one was the bad person. Every behavior, maladaptive or not, is an attempt to meet a very real need. This reality helps to not vilify one another during the counseling process. It makes the dialogue beneficial. Its not good, not bad, but helpful and beneficial. It's not static but dynamic.

Prompt : Prior to going to counseling, understand that there will not be any taking sides. It is not a venture to prove yourself right or the other wrong. Prepare yourself to dive into the depths of your vulnerabilities in order to come out stronger.

-For more detailed prompts and directives, read through the book "How To Have That Difficult Conversation You Have Been Avoiding" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It offers tagged scriptures and specific examples of how to put into words what you are feeling. -

[Connection]

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 20:09:05 GMT

A Painful Tool

We live with a desire for deep connection. We are designed to be relational. Alone we struggle, together we are stronger.

Research from the University of Dartmouth Medical School regarding 'infant attachment and child development' as it correlates to 'social evidence of how civil society shapes outcomes for children', suggests that a baby's brain is biologically already formed to connect in relationships. We are born longing for connection. Deep rooted connection. When we don't experience this, or lack in this area, we feel pain.

Sitting in the pain of another is a powerful tool.

We connect strongest around our pain. We can experience happiness together sure, but we truly connect around hurt, around struggle, around sacrifice.

We find that the word sacrifice, in Greek , can be synonymous with passion. And its true! We are most passionate when we are most sacrificial.

Sitting in the Sacrifice -Empathy-

Our cups can only spill what they contain. We become empty, we become dry, we become hurting depressed individuals needing a reboot, a charging of energy. We need a socket to plug into. Or maybe just a balance of energy.

That is part of our calling as counselors.

Our cups must be full and prepared for our clients. Our constant challenge to be congruent, our call to be balanced, strong, and energizing.

So that when Rick tells us he is on the verge of suicide, we can sit with him in his anguish and then walk along side him in developing a safety plan.

So that when Ashley tells us her parents are getting a divorce, we can meet her at her confusion, guilt, anger, and process any cognitive distortions that exist.

So that when Amber comes in ecstatic about being able to overcome her eating disorder this week and stay on track with her calorie intake, we can celebrate in that moment and dive deeper into that catalyst for change.

All this to challenge:

Do not fear the deathly.

Do not abandon the awkward.

Do not shun the desolate.

Do not shy from hurt.

Do not turn your back on the painful.

This greatest point of connection is a powerful tool to genuinely empathize, care, and empower.

Primitive Defense Mechanisms

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:56:32 GMT

Let's start off with a simple question.

Is anyone completely and undeniably trustworthy?

My answer is no. Big shocker right?

From my personal and biblical perspective , No one is completely trustworthy except for God. We can try, we can strive, we can reach for the ideal. At the end of the day we will fall short of being completely worthy of another individuals trust.

I tend to instinctually find myself looking for reasons not to trust. As if the reason will grant merit to the outcome/ reality. Even coming from a place of knowing that complete trust in others is unattainable, I still set myself up for failure. I usually will find my reasons, and they usually bring zero resolve.

The process is self driven by nature.

Even in the simplest of experiences, such as walking into an elevator. We look at the buttons and the lights. We listen to hear for the 'ding'. Maybe even sometimes we are greeted with a reassuring elevator robot voice! We are constantly assessing, factoring in the variables, searching for agendas. We are always discerning.

This isn't to say we CAN'T trust.

It just means our natural capacity to trust has a limit. For those reading and are 'likeminded in the faith', for us that is when we find peace at the limitless trust we find in our infinite creator. In these experiences and sometimes in the moment of awareness itself, we tend to fall on our primitive defense mechanisms.

In the moment we may begin to 'keep our head above the water' or desire the elation of personal power. We may clamor for dependency or perhaps use sarcasm to alleviate the pain.

These primitive defense mechanisms kick in fast. You may have experienced these yourself.

Blaming Denial Manipulation

Control Justices Fixation

Retrospection Minimization Projection

(you fill in the blank)

When an individual believes their trust is broken or decreased, fear becomes the rudder to their emotions.

People tend to move away from things that challenge their belief systems. These primitive defense mechanisms are our 'attack modes', whether in a passive or active manner.

We are set up to desire trust and chase after truth, respect, understanding, safety, investment, external care, and genuineness. Since not a single person can completely offer all these things all of the time to their fullest capacity, we are left with this conclusion.

We are people that are prone to rejection and shame.

This is why people need evidence. Trust doesn't just show up to the party. It has to either be invited or brought with a friend. Yes, our job as people is to give sufficient evidence for trust. Even if we can't fully embody it. Jesus is love, but Jesus didn't do everything for everyone who wanted him to do something .

To love does not mean to appease.

What love WILL do is grant feedback, dissect and reflect identity, focus on restorative balance.

What love does not do is tear away at the flesh of others (the literal root meaning of the word sarcasm). Indeed, the above defense mechanisms are primitive and will not bring feedback, identity, or balance.

They will however, keep us from growing. Our primitive defense mechanisms, not individuals, will stand in our way.

What stands in the way of you growing today, right now?

Prayer & Counseling

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:54:59 GMT

We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.

~ Oswald Chambers

There comes much discernmen t when discussing spiritual elements within counseling. There must exist the ability to read the client and be open to opportunities that grant time for prayer and/or spiritual/religious dialogue. Listening for opportunities for prayer and suggesting it when appropriate is the most beneficial path.

There are times when prayer may be detrimental to the counseling process. Perhaps the client was sexually abused by his pastor. Maybe the client was forced to pray for hours on end as a child in a psychologically abusive manner. What if an introverted client never learned how to pray and never returns to counseling due to embarrassment or fear? Whatever the case may be, as counselors, we must meet people where they are, not where we desire them to be. So, then, there cannot be room for assumptions in sessions.

So are therapists spiritual leaders, guides, both, or neither?

It depends on many factors including; the client’s desires, the client’s needs, the therapeutic alliance, the client’s walk of life, the therapist’s theoretical background and skill set, among other things.

If the client truly leads the session with the aid of the counselor and the influence of the Holy Spirit, then it is the client’s space to do what he feels comfortable with and is legally and ethically permissible to do.

While some would say prayer, no matter what, is to be pushed (1 Timothy 2:8) I would say this is a good example of 'all or nothing' thinking. Have you ever tried giving a cat a bath? Remember, the client’s mood, thoughts, and attitudes are not yours to control. Pushing a bias or agenda won't allow the client to have 'buy-in' and therefore will hamper the counseling process.

Being a Christian, at times you may feel the Spirit leading you to say, "Would you be open to prayer?" That is when beautiful opportunities arise. (Romans 8:26) It may not always happen. There can be a time and place for routine prayer: church, mealtime, etc. In your own life, you are in control of how and when those happen. (Matthew 6:6, Pslam 18:6,)

Scripture gives us insight as to when and how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13) but eventually, being human, we are the ones who will make our own choices. To take a person’s decision-making ability away from him would discredit his own strength and journey. It would be going against ethical guidelines. Part of the story includes making sure the client is autonomous.

What’s the difference between prayer and meditation?

I am always open to prayer. I most often will ask if prayer is needed within session. Personally I am uncomfortable with (bound by Scripture not to) praying to a deity other than my own. I am, however, open to practices of self-rejuvenation such as meditation or yoga if they do not oppress my own beliefs.

This becomes then a matter of the mind, and common sense.

If I'm meditating , I am not emptying my mind. Instead I will be filling my mind with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8, Pslam 19:14)). Usually that filters down to be Jesus.

Within prayer, we must ask, "Who or what is the source?"

I can pray alongside individuals of other faiths , but do not necessarily have to pray with said person. To clarify, I can pray alongside others, without having to pray to the same source as them. When this concept is understood, the client-counselor therapeutic alliance becomes much stronger. There no longer exists a false notion of dependency or mental vagueness of ideologies. (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)

Our sources do not need to be the same in order for me to render services, care, empathy, and guidance to that person.

The same goes in counseling . If an individual of another faith or belief system requests to pray within session, they are free to do so. I am also free in the same regard to pray alongside them to my deity, but not with them to theirs.

As our global community begins to move from a physical and tangible expression of beliefs to one that is cognizant and eternal, counselors will find themselves assessing their own boundaries of spirituality and religious guidance within sessions. At what point does one individual end and another begin within the therapeutic alliance?

What will it take to meet clients at the metacognitive level?

Wearable Tech & Counseling

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:53:43 GMT

With the latest craze being the Apple Watch , it's important to discover value behind the vignette of that infamous Apple logo.

Pebble, Galaxy Gear, LG watch, Sony Smartband, Asus ZenWatch, Moto 360 , are all "Wearables". They are electronic devices that strap around your wrist, feeding you notifications, updates, incoming calls, texts, and anything that you decide to receive.This could either be really annoying, or very powerful.

How can these extensions of our phones be used as tools rather than toys?

I personally have been wearing a pebble for the past 3 months in attempt to get a feel for wearable tech, as well as discover ways to use it as a counseling tool.

Any counselor will tell you that personal health is half the job. In order to be there for others, a healthy state of mind is required, literally by the state. I use my pebble to help me fulfill this requirement.

- I set my pebble to track my sleeping habits and from there adjust what is recommended. I use an app called Morpheous to do this.

- I have a history of not drinking enough water and getting dehydrated easily. So I downloaded a water intake app which reminds me every hour to drink a glass of water, then has me mark if I did or not. This keeps me hydrated.

- RunKeeper is an app that displays my activity stats, instead of strapping a phone to my arm, I glance down at my wrist to get the information I want about my workout.

Within counseling the pebble has been a huge helping hand . Many changes can occur within a 24 hour period. Many things can change between setting up an appointment and meeting a client. If a session is cancelled, pebble lets me know.

I am able to set session alarms, which vibrate, notifying me to wrap up. I personally set these directly into my pebble instead of using a phone based app.
If a client is running late and I am in session, I receive their text and can glance down to my wrist instead of looking at a phone.

*Implication: Looking down at your watch is a little less rude than looking at your phone, however it may indicate to the client that you are snobby for making time more important than them. A "I have better things to do." mentality. So this too is done with discretion.

Client Use

The possibilities of receiving raw data on, and from, clients is endless. Here is one example. For those clients who are working through anxiety and possess a smartphone, I ask them to take their heart rate using a heart rate app. When they share their data with me via the heart rate app, it notifies my pebble through email. This helps me chart progress as well as assess if I need to give the client a call.

Nostalgia

There is something about looking at your wrist for information that makes the whole thing intimate. The wearable is part of your physical body, it's attached and offers you powerful data. It is not something you hold or accidentally drop. It's an extension, and can be a tool of connection.

Usability

It comes down to how you want to use wearables in your life, what sort of relationship are you comfortable having with an electronic that is attached to you. My pebble is waterproof, so other than when it's charging (which is once a week by the way), it is on my person 24/7. Swimming, showering, running, counseling, eating, cleaning, etc. it's always talking to me, giving me info. With this in mind, you naturally begin to filter out the noise. "What do I want my tech to tell me about? How much do I want to control from my wrist?"

These techniques have been used only in the first 3 months with some creative thinking. The more I learn about wearable tech the more I grow in my ability to smoothly operate a counseling lifestyle as well as connect with my clients.

The higher the quality of watch, the more elaborate and creative you can get. The Apple Watch is leaps and bounds ahead of pebble, but really it's about being motivated and creative enough to utilize whatever tools you are granted or can afford.

I recently wrote an article about beneficial apps to use within counseling. Between the tool itself (wearable) and the means ( app software) the possibilities are limitless. Here is the link

Do you use wearables? Let me know your experience!

Apps For A Therapist

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:51:55 GMT

There tends to be a great deal of background work involved in being a therapist. Utilizing apps lends a helping hand and can be useful when desiring to be organized, efficient, and effective.

Below are a handful of apps I personally use on a daily basis with a quick description of why.

Heart-rate app

I am always interested in knowing the strength or weakness of my own heart. I utilize this app to track my heartrate. I also use this app to gain raw data of my clients that have high anxiety, stress, and ptsd. Many times a client will be shaky at the beginning of session, with some narration and checking their heartrate, a sense of control and peace enters the room. Checking it at the beginning and end of session allows the client to see evidence of control over their own body.

MileIQ

If you are always driving from office to office, MileIQ will track your miles automatically. It runs in the background and waits for you to swipe left for personal or right for business. It then generates spreadsheets of your data. This is great for tracking miles for tax purposes within your practice or as a self employed sub contractor.

Shoeboxed

Storing receipts can be the worst. Who works with paper nowadays anyway? Anytime I purchase something I will use with clients or for my office, I store the receipt on the shoeboxed app. The company that made the app actually processes your receipt and makes it searchable. This helps with quarterly taxes, as does MileIQ.

QuickVoicePro

Recording sessions can be a hassle when dealing with old style recorders. QuickVoicePro makes it easy with the ability to email, share, or airdrop your file directly to your desktop or iPad. I use this app when I need to go back and transcribe a session. I know I could invest in transcription apps, but using this method reassures me of any corrections, as well as freshens my memory.

Criteria Sets

Ever wanted the entire DSM5 in your pocket? While this is the most expensive app, coming in at $65, it has been the best investment I have made. This app gives the ability to search the DSM and easily maneuver through it on your iPad or iPhone. This makes the diagnosing process so much smoother

CudaSign

With this app I fill out, sign, save, and share documents. I fill out my daily reports and request clients to fill out / sign documents with this app. It makes signing off on documents a breeze. Most clients use their finger to sign. I am then able to save or print the document on the spot. Many of my Online clients use this app to sign documents and return them to me.

Scanner Pro

Any physical document can now be turned into a pdf by simply taking a picture of it. This app digitally scans your photo and turns it into a scanned copy. Grabbing forms on the fly is simple. I use this hand in hand with CudaSign. I find that using ScannerPro to grab the PDF and then opening it with CudaSign is much more crisp than using CudaSign to take the pic. Because of this app I have hundreds of PDF resources I email to clients within or outside of session.

Pages / ICloud

Pages allows me to complete my client notes, which are password protected by iCloud and my iPad/iPhone fingerprint (Double lock Hipaa). I can access these notes at any time. I also use Pages along side photo editing apps such as Studio Plus to create ads.

DeStressify

This app offers many mindfulness techniques you can use within sessions. I usually conduct these techniques myself, but refer to the app before hand. I have suggested clients utilize this app outside of sessions as homework as well. This app offers psychoeducation, practices, nutrition aid, and the ability to belong to a bigger community of those who struggle with stress.

MoveingForward

Another app for stress is MoveForward. This app grants you the ability to track stress levels and chart your progress. Whether it's for you as a therapist, or the client, this app is useful in gaining raw data. By answering questions within the app, you are provided assessment, practices, and a support system if help is needed.

SAM

This anxiety tracker offers a way to understand your own triggers as well as the triggers of clients. It also offers tools which you can add to your anxiety toolkit. Tools cover "physical relaxation" "mental relaxation" "health" as well as a "small steps" section which offers tid bits of aid. I personally use the "Help for anxiety NOW" section of this app which provides 3 interactive practices to reduce anxiety on the spot.

Kindle

When filling out treatment plans it helps to have some strong resources. I pack my kindle full of Treatment Planners. The two I use most often is the "Complete Adult Psychotherapy Treatment Planner" and the " Child Psychotherapy Treatment Planner". There are many others.

Want more? Check out the following link for more mental health apps.

www.telementalhealthcomparisons.com/apps/therapist-apps

Shut Up & Talk

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:49:59 GMT

What if a client won't shut up and get to the point?

We've all been there, therapist or not. Our clients, friends, family members will fill an amount of time with white noise, infinite content, a large amount of fluff before getting to the meat of their concerns, ideas, or needs.

What do we do when this becomes a pattern? There is nothing wrong with sharing and bringing people up to speed, but when it becomes a pattern of avoidance we, as the listener, tend to pick up on it.

In these times it is crucial to maintain a healthy balance of sensitivity and accountability. Accountability not only to the client, but to yourself. The client is paying for your time and for progress. The family member is confiding in you and utilizing time and effort which may be limited to both you and them.

If you foresee this type of interaction coming, mentally block off 5-10 minutes at the end of the session, or time together. Narrate your insertion about having 10 minutes left.

For example:

"One thing that I'm struck with is the amount of content you tend to share. Does your content relate to your needs and situation? I have no problem listening, but could there be a reason behind having so much content before sharing your main points?"

Or Maybe:
"This seems to be your contact style. When you are listened to, you feel valued. If it is, that is benifical but can be costly. Could that be part of the drive to seek others to listen to you other than your______ ( wife, husband, father, mother, person of concern)."

How about:
"Your content was great, but could it all have been 'empty words' to avoid certain things, can we talk about the NEED to avoid? What do you think?"

From there, keep these 7 points in mind:

1) Don't be accusing, but rather open.

2) People don't want t be seen as wrong, or fragile, so don't let them. Instead guide clients to a place of strength in their vulnerabilities.

3) People can be offended at their own reflection. Point that out!

4) If a voice of condemnation exists, you know its obviously not you. So where is the clients voice of condemnation coming from?

5) If clients don't agree with you, it's ok, you don't have to invest in being right.

6) All roads can lead to resolution. We might not always take the most direct path, but we will get there.

7) Lastly, Counselors work with clients to bring balance to unbalanced lives. Work together to figure out what the balance could look like!

If you have thoughts or concerns about this content, please share with a comment!

Boundaries: You're Complicated

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:48:18 GMT

You are a story .

You are not just a John, Steve, or Jenny.

You are "so-and-so’s" son or daughter, who just found out he or she has a brain tumor.

You are the guy I heard about who is facing jail time.

You are that family who is in debt and is honestly trying to get out of it.

You are the nephew who just got baptized , or the aunt who just had a new baby!

All of these stories include struggle , pain, joy, and love. We don't live in perfection, so it's crazy to expect the perfect life. Or even to expect a simple path to make things easier.

These are heavy things; our stories tend to be intricate. They are complex because we are complex. We are not simple linear beings. Our lifespan, our existence, is multi-factorial and multi-dimensional .

Every decision we make in life is going to be tough , every decision is going to require multiple dimensions to be assessed.

We are a creation unlike any other living thing on the planet or in the universe."

A star may have the power to explode or implode, but not at its own choosing or in its own way. We may not know the time and date of our conflicts . We might not know the time and date of our passing . But what we do have is the power to choose how we look at life and how we will react to it. The way we approach our day-to-day.

Sadly, we tend to slowly and naturally live our lives from a place of fear , living our lives on autopilot . We start seeing the world and our life as an external existence .

We start separating the external world from our inner self.

The external world begins to have control over our inner self."

What happens on the news, what 'so-and-so’ said, or how society views what we're currently going through become our standard. T hose become our judges.

How do we set boundaries to our life in order to strive for a healthy lifestyle?"

We read about steps , we go through books about how others have done it, we find inspiration that is sometimes short-lived .

No matter where it is that you find a means to set boundaries for yourself, it absolutely must start with a shift .

A shift of perspective , that it's not the external world that's in control, but rather your reaction to the external world that matters . How a person reacts is what impacts the external world, rather than the external world impacting your inner self .

After that shift is made , we're able to look at our inner selves and assess where we stand. What’s important to us? What are our values? Is our inner self grounded in biblical truth? is our inner self constantly conversing with our Creator? Is our inner self reflective rather than impulsive?

When we find ourselves sorting through this idea of boundaries, these questions may help:

Fear: What is it you fear most?

Identity: What are a few lies you tell yourself?

Value: What are the top 3 values you hold to your life on a daily basis?

Belonging: Who, or what, do you belong to?

A boundary is a personal property line defining who you are, where you end, and where others begin. It refers to the truth, to reality, and to what is. It protects us from ourselves and others. it defines our relationships. Lastly it helps us understand what we want and don’t want."

-Townsend and Cloud, Boundaries

You are a story , intricate and complex. Learn yourself . Know your boundaries . Always assess .

What are some of your self-learned life boundaries? If you feel comfortable, share them below for others who may be seeking!

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Start from the Heart

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:46:52 GMT

To be in love is to be insane. When someone is in the initial stages of a relationship, their Dopamine levels are off the charts. This is usually because the internal narrative regarding the relationship is self-focused. It's usually about our OWN narrative rather than the other person. We focus, initially, about how WE are being satisfied.

When clients come to counseling as couples , or however they may define their relationship, it is important to remember as a professional that people are going to do what they are going to do, no matter how well you believe the session went.

When clients are emotionally engaged , they are harder to talk to. It is that plain and simple. In these scenarios, it seems more beneficial to focus on why the client's emotional response is the way that it is, rather than how it is effecting the other party. This is a fine line. While it is important to address effect, it can easily turn into a blaming game. By focusing on the why, the client looks inward, and then outward.

When the emotional response is larger than the event , basically when it is not proportionate to the event, that needs to be processed. The details may not matter at this point. Why? Because of the following...

In every instance there is the micro , the macro and the meta. Approach the session in a holistic way.

The micro is the incident: what happen right then.

The macro is the relational part: what was felt, what's the pattern of controlling, not listening, etc.

The meta is the script each client tells themselves about aspects of life, others, and themselves.

It is crucial to look at all three. "Problem solving" is going to be frustrating. Starting from the basics is very important. Ask yourself, and perhaps even your client:

'What drives human behavior?' If you believe as I believe, the answer may be Fear and Identity

There is the truth that pain tends to seek pain and pathology tends to seek pathology. We are all broken cookies, but everyone still has a personal role in the outrage they express. Balance in a relationship is critical, not meaning that passivity and dominance swings back and forth in a power struggle, but rather finds itself at an equal level.

How long will clients, and even therapists, deny and avoid the imbalance? The lack of identity? Their, our, own vulnerability? These are the questions that take process and time. These are the topics that make us feel less insane in receiving love and more sacrificial in giving love.

How have you processed through such concerns with couples? What techniques have you used?

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How to "Sell" the DSM / Diagnosis

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:43:23 GMT

Many people fear visiting a therapist or seeing a counselor due to the looming possibility of receiving a diagnosis which may place them or their reputation at a disadvantage in the long run. This tends to leave people searching for therapists who do not diagnose (usually these are the therapists who do not take insurances).

It is easy to stay away from counseling agencies and therapists. It can be pretty easy just pretending there is no problem. It is easy to start believing that there is nothing wrong.

To put things into perspective, having a "mental disorder" just means something is going wrong. Something is off in one's life. The truth is, working on that without help is hard, really hard.

Can you think of anyone who doesn't have anything going wrong?

Why do therapists diagnose?

For one, it provides a means for insurance agencies to offer coverage, which, in turn, means payment on the therapist's behalf. This is good for everyone! A happy therapist is a motivated therapist! (Sarcasm.) In all actuality, whether your session is pro bono or paid, it is an ethical requirement to hold the client's best interest at heart.

Secondly, it is a way for the mental health world to communicate, much like medical terms for doctors and nurses. Or HTML5 for coding geniuses!

Lastly, it offers a common understanding of treatment . Treatment is the key word there. You know, the thing a client is looking to receive! It provides a starting point with goals. It offers hope.

Considering transparency, veracity, and having a genuine nature are key elements of therapy; counselors coming to an agreement with the client about diagnosis is not unheard of. This can take place while the counselor filters other diagnoses that meet criteria. This is done naturally and with compassion by the counselor describing what they are seeing.

For others, counseling may be much desired and offered as a free service through their employer. This service is termed an EAP . This service grants a handful of counseling sessions, leaving the client wanting to continue but not able to afford it. At least that is the belief.

Many agencies offer a Sliding Fee Scale which is based on the clients income. Some even offer free counseling referenced as charity or when a client is in hardship.

So why would they / you come back after the EAP? Answer: because now there is hope. After a handful of sessions, the client begins to see the power that exists within therapy. They find hope in the process and in themselves.

The therapist conveys and establishes care, trustworthiness, and safety. Clients begin to feel understood, when before they did not. When the clients' conflicts are relayed back to them, a connection is created and fostered.

The conversion from EAP to long-term sessions occurs when feelings are articulated, a course is charted, and hope is offered. The fear of going too, far too fast begins to diminish when both parties stop pretending there isn’t a problem.
It may seem simple. It may even feel awkward.

This is the way of the diagnosing culture . A diagnosis is not a stigma or symbol of ‘other’. A diagnosis offers clarity, progress, and hope.

Caverns & Forests: Hunting Ourselves

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:38:38 GMT

For those who are in the practice of counseling, there exists an entire world of theory, technique, method, and belief. One of which, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), builds on the notion that dysfunctional thinking (thinking which causes the individual to not function in the manner they perceive to be meaningful or effective) can be restructured by focusing on the beliefs behind one's own cognition. This cognition, or thought patterns based on beliefs , could have been placed or instituted by the enironment, family, peers, history, books, etc. The power behind cognition, however, is fueled by the self.

The name Friedrich Nietzsche is often despised by Christian circles, and oppositely praised by those without a focus in Christ-centered approaches or practice. But hear his words on the matter of self in regard to cognition:

“But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests. Lonely one, you are going the way to yourself! And your way goes past yourself, and past your seven devils! You will be a heretic to yourself and witch and soothsayer and fool and doubter and unholy one and villain. You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I find these examples of waiting in caverns and forests to be evident in my own life, and find it hard to believe others if they attest against their own skeletons, rather than accept them. However there is another way to express what Nietzsche is saying. Process these words in the book of James:

“Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

-James 1:14–15

Through these words there is a focus on self: desire, lure, temptation, specifically one that we create in our own minds. This scripture is possessive, ironically reflecting its truth and its consequence at the same time.

These two references do offer a stark challenge , one states you will undoubtedly burn yourself and rise from your own self (ashes) to be a new person, having learned from your past, while the other offers an option to accept the call of Jesus and rise from the symbolic and life-altering waters that grant a new life and new perspective.

It would be reasonable to say that as the venture of listening to clients sit with their self cognition as it progresses, being empathetic is important, but does not limit one's clarity in expressing disagreement based on client-centered distorted thinking.

With this in mind, "I don't agree with what you're thinking/doing," seems only respectable once validation is firmly grounded and expressed. Perhaps that is when discussion of said 'faulty ideas' would be appreciated and effective.

The long list of reasoning behind blockading one's ability to change, or to even think about change, often times revolves around a specific factor:

- Fear of change

- Fear of disappointment

- Fear of people validating one's worst thoughts.

- Fear of having to confront abusers

- Fear of taking responsibility

Were you able to find the specific factor?

Fear . All of the examples listed above create resistance, and cause us to forget what I, personally, believe is an ultimate truth, that "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe" (Proverbs 29:25).

In holding our thoughts captive , we intersect fear. It keeps us from turning the page, moving on, starting a new chapter in our lives. I leave you with no challenge, no charter, so that you may navigate through your own thoughts, draw your own maps, and excavate new discoveries! Let me know how it goes.

The Mental Frontier: Hope for Common Ground

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:36:25 GMT

Over the weekend, I learned something new from an unlikely character. She was familiar, somewhat monotone, and sat in the passenger seat of my car as I drove to meet a client.

I was bored. I wanted new information , something to fill my mind, something inspirational. So I asked her:

“Hey Siri, how many stars are in our galaxy?”

“Hummm..let me think about that,” she replied. “It looks like the answer is 200 billion to 400 billion.”

The environment we live in is truly changing . Our technology is beginning to grow on us. It is beginning to move from being something external to something internal, not so much something we use, but something that is part of us.

This can be more easily understood by our movement toward wearable technology. For example the Galaxy Gear, Apple Watch, Pebble, Google Glass, Oculus Rift, Fitbit, etc. These devices do not offer accessibility, but rather dimension.

Augmented reality apps create for us a space to utilize and live within this dimension. A theater to be ourselves, but in an extended manner. Avatars, forums, blogs, video teleconferencing, privacy settings, status updates, social networking platforms , we are beginning to find meaning and purpose in these keywords. It is not merely our ‘ digital ’ lives, but rather another aspect of our ‘ actual ’ lives.

Yet even in this new space, in our extended selves , we still experience ancient truths. These ancient truths withstand progress, time, and desire. They have no barrier. They are called hurt, fear, identity, and belonging .

As humanity evolves in its role, while our technological advancements continue to shape our cognitive and physical experiences, we must continue to seek wisdom in ways that surpass our own self-driven ambition. Just as we always have sought wisdom and counsel, we must continue to do so no matter what theater of life.

The counseling world is beginning to more readily learn about the environment in which it exits. It’s beginning to understand that Suzy , who has an open spine, has little chance of seeing a counselor in person.

Or that Jake , a college freshman, would benefit more from continuing to see his therapist back home via webcam rather than starting from square one.

Perhaps its Lindsey , who can barely handle stepping outside of her home due to struggling with Body Dismorphic Disorder.

Or maybe Steven , who just received word that he will be stationed clear across the world.

While people naturally feel uncomfortable with these gray areas, they are realities. Our world, relationships, and people are more complicated than the clear cut lines we desire our identities to reflect.

There are people out there who give praise to a proposed evolutionary millstone for humanity termed ‘Singularity’. This prophetic calling states that within a few decades, technology will reach a point where it and the human race will be one and the same. The creator and the creation will be a singular existence. No longer will there be a need for aid, because our future ability to create will outweigh our ability to need. This is a scary notion, one I disagree with. No matter the time or ability, we will always lack wisdom, always need counsel.

I think back to Scripture: James 1:5

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Perhaps in this new environment, t here could exist a common ground. A way to seek counsel, to seek wisdom. A way to meet people where they are.

Here’s the good news:

I have been working hard to make a place like this possible. It may not be for everyone, but it exists for anyone.

If you, or anyone you know would benefit let me know!

Turning Goals Into Unplanned Surprises

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:27:42 GMT

That is me in the picture. I was living in Israel and had never seen snow. It only made sense that once it did snow, I would make a small snowman, give him a salute, and store him in our freezer for as long as I could!

I seldom look back at the path I've walked . I find myself constantly looking at the "now" and "what's to come”. I trick my mind, as I feel we are meant to do. I trick it in order to stay grounded. I tell myself, "Ideally, the next few years will look this way or that way." I tell my brain these things, and expect them to follow through.

Then I tell my brain, "Brain, this plan has faults and serious issues, but guess what, God is going to yank those issues out as you go through this." Then I begin to live it out. Once a situation comes up, I think, "Time to adapt and be flexible, because it seems to be weeding season."

This situation could be anything . Let’s say, for example, you find out a University does not have a program you are interested in. Or that you have to move somewhere for a job and extra schooling. Or maybe even that within the next 6 months you have to create a new budget in order to buy a house. These aren't "challenges" as some people might say. I see them as realities . Ones that I must live, but not in a negative determinist way, because I do have other options.

The Apostle Paul said ,

I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

- Philippians 4

No, these are not challenges , they are realities that, if dealt with properly, will, in the end, add color to my "self" portrait. How I deal with these situations determines how the painting will come out looking in the end. And in the end the painting will be a reflection of my true identity.

I love how Rob Bell puts it (yes, Rob Bell) :

Because with every action, comment, conversation, we have the choice to invite Heaven or Hell to Earth."

I think Rob Bell is saying that God's will for our lives will be lived out if we invite it in. We invite it in by discerning and deciding. If we just walk it, we will be guided, being nudged from the left and the right. We just need to be accepting of these ‘nudges’, no matter how difficult they are to take in.

When we begin to look at our lives this way, in a more 'narrative' way than just a 'chasing after ambitions' way, we can start to see how these unplanned surprises are like digital snapshots that come together in the end.

You are making the decisions in these situations, so make them great! Put all that you are into them. Loosen up, be flexible , because in this world, the more memorable these digital snapshots are , the more beautiful and memorable the final reflection will be.

How do you set out making, planning, and executing your goals? Do you have a specific scripture or mentality in looking at your future and how you take your steps? What are some huge goals you have accomplished, and what helped you accomplish them?

Let me know, I would love to hear about them!

On Humanity

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Sat, 13 May 2017 19:18:45 GMT

Human nature is bigger than the people who experience it . It is indifferent. We view it as setting up expectations that make people nervous. People are stories, they are their stories. Our stories give us meaning. Stories bring us together and break us apart. Human nature is ‘loss’. It is ‘Accomplishment’. It is ‘want’, and undoubtedly it is ‘challenge’.

When I reflect on human nature, I find it to be the unwavering desire to fight for something bigger than yourself, and to win. Human nature is the awareness of living in reality, and knowing its effects are temporary. People, deep down, know how temporary their lives are, yet they strive for dreams that have been handed down by their predecessors; it’s in our nature to do so.

Human nature is, in essence, inner conflict . It is the notion of ‘beating out’ the idea of a being trapped in a ‘system’. It is the nostalgic need to uncover the fact that systems don’t rule us, but our own free will and self-appointed persona do. Human nature is fluid, something we sometimes cannot see or understand but other times fully live and watch. It’s our clockwork.

The way individuals think about themselves in the world very much influences how they feel about themselves. People have thoughts that they are not aware of, which influence their behavior. Human nature encapsulates both rational thinking and irrational thinking. It is a sum of biological factors and social factors, which in turn determines personality. Human nature is the desire to be loved and feel accepted, but the reality of knowing such acceptance is not fully necessary to keep breathing.

Human nature is selfish ambition and selfless sacrifice for the greater good. It is a beautiful paradox. One that merges the spiritual and physical. It’s our ability to determine worth. The ability to step outside of oneself and will the emotions that affect us. It is the lure that makes us ask “what” and “how” rather than knowing “why”. It is our polarization, our never-ending dance between awareness and ignorance.

________________________________________

We gain perspective and wisdom through loss yet dread each experience. We strive to function fully in our world yet look for safe atmospheres in which to express ourselves. We feel, we empathize, we struggle, and we desire healing.

________________________________________

My perspective of human nature, in a simple and quickly understandable sentence, is: the psychological and behavioral tendencies in which we live our lives. Yet I also believe it is much more complex than a simple definition. Honestly, I would be lying if I said I truly grasped the idea of what it means to be fully human. I would be skeptical of anyone who claims to present a full and complete answer.

Each living being is a beautiful narrative . We are all walking cultural libraries. Knowing how people perceive events and make judgments about their realities helps to conceptualize individuals more accurately. Understanding their religious myths, legends, and insights about their life grants therapists a deeper look into clients’ past, present, and future behavior, feelings, and thoughts. Stories, themes, patterns, plots, they all help conceptualize the client.

Humanity is paradoxical. A human can kiss his offspring on the forehead and then put a bullet in another forehead later that day. It may not be right or beneficial, but it’s still a reality. The paradox offers complexity, but is simple in its needs.

Love is held above any other intention . Humanity lives and dies for love, the absence of this intention results in hate or indifference. Too much or too little can be deadly. It is pure motivation.

The last concept is that humanity walks around with voids. Everyone develops voids which they long to have filled. A counselor's call is to bring awareness to the voids through guidance, and then facilitate the client in how they can fill the voids in a healthy way.

In my ventures I have discovered that there are thousands of techniques, methods, assessments, and philosophies, but at the end of the day a human is not one to be ‘worked’ with, but rather accompanied.

The Roads We Choose & The Ones That Chose Us - by Marija Rizoska

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Tue, 19 Apr 2016 23:37:14 GMT

Ever wonder how our life changes, or look back and wonder when it changed, or what happened that led you to the place where are you now? What were the decisions and choices you made that changed your path and brought you to this spot? If you can backtrack that path in your heart, can you go back to a particular crossroads to choose again?

As human beings we go through life thinking and working towards a better future, by default. We have a dream, goal or aim we want to achieve, and we want every little step we take to lead us in that direction. We have expectations about the outcomes we imagine. But often, somewhere along the way, an unexpected thing happens and changes our life. Sometimes, this unexpected thing and the changes it brings are terrible and frightening.

One moment you are standing on firm ground in this thing called life, and the next it feels like a hurricane swept you up and threw you somewhere far away. In this new, far off, unfamiliar land, you don’t know where to go or how to return to the firm ground you knew before. This land is dark and painful. At moments it feels like you have hit rock bottom, or fallen into the inferno. All of the problems you had before now seem small and unimportant. It is remarkable how we often go day in and day out carrying stress over so many things, situations and people--until something big happens and changes our perspective.

I have been through this hurricane. My way back from the dark land was long and painful. I sometimes feel that my journey back is still not over (and may never truly be over), but I am proud of myself for the distance I have traveled and what I have learned on the way.

The amazing thing about this dark place is that, as painful and lonely as it is for you, you often cannot see it for what it is. People around you see it, your loved ones and friends that visit you see it, but you are consumed with so much pain that you can not see that there is a brighter world beyond your dark island. Many times, your friends and family do not know how to reach through the fog to help you. You welcome them when they visit, but their visits feel surreal: like you are watching your own funeral where they have only come to express their condolences. Your emotional pain is so big and the journey back is so long that you become numb. Your tears roll down your cheeks, there is a wedge of despair lodged in your throat that you can neither swallow nor spit out. It never leaves. And some days you find yourself in a fetal position on the floor agonizing over where on that path you took the wrong turn that trapped you in this place.

The truth is that sometimes in life things happen without you making a wrong turn at all. Unpredictable things that change our lives forever can happen without notice or explanation. Death, illness, break-ups, job loss. Sometimes the hurricane needs no external cause at all; a switch just flips inside you. You are left wondering in an endless loop: WHY? Why this? Why me? Why now?

You can search the answer scientifically, spiritually, anywhere and everywhere. Life will prove to you again and again that this journey you are going through holds lessons for you. These lessons will ease the pain, and help make sense out of it. I am here to help you find the lessons you are meant to learn, and help guide you back into the light. You just need to keep moving forward. The lessons for each person are different: I can't tell you in advance what your lessons will be, but I can certainly help you not to walk your journey alone!

Trust your journey no matter how painful it is, have faith that in time it will lead you to a brighter place, and this pain you are going through will benefit you!

XX,
M

Marija Rizoska holds a MA in professional counseling and provides counseling to individuals in English, Macedonian, Serbian, Bulgarian, Bosnian and Croatian. Marija holds a certificate in Life Coaching. Marija honored her skills at Lindenwood University and refined them through a research program at Washington University in St. Louis.

10 Reasons To Find A Life Coach

jiryis06@gmail.com (Geries Shaheen) — Thu, 07 Apr 2016 04:59:42 GMT

Here at MyLifeCoachSession we understand that everyone has a journey they are blazing through. Whether we find ourselves floating down the current of life, or dodging silver bullets of stress, our journey is full of daily responses. Here are 10 reasons to have a Life Coach along for the ride.

Anyone can have one:
For better or worse, anyone can add a Life Coach to their journey. There are no special requirements, traditions, or cool aid to drink in order to be part of club. Everyone has a voice and the best way to have your voice validated, challenged and heard is by having someone on the other end.

Life Coaching has personality:
Life Coaching is a much more personable approach to mental health than its predecessors. Each Life Coach is distinct in their methods and connectivity. The process is more open to genuine relationship, offering a dynamic platform in which to operate.

Life Coaches offer a great form of healthy communication:
You can help people, learn new things, entertain audiences—your possibilities are endless and amazing. Having a life coach opens you up to potential and accountability. It offers healthy space for growth, without shame, guilt, or pressure to perform.

Life Coaches can be affordable:
MyLifeCoachSession offers a minimum cost of $25 per session, try and find similar services for that price, you can't. Life Coaches have the freedom to meet people where they are, on all fronts, even financially.

It allows people to craft better thoughts:
Instead of cycling through self defeating thoughts and old hurtful memories, Life Coaching pushes for future oriented, goals driven, action step crushing dialogue. Its a solutions based approach, meaning you're not spending the entire time rehashing old wounds. Instead you find yourself projecting your future into a reality.

You become established in a community:
Having a Life Coach is like joining a movement, participating in a community. One that is accepting and challenging. A community that understands the benefits of mental health, and focuses on personal achievement. At first glance it may just look like a bunch of instagram images and motivational jargon. After some time it becomes a positive lifestyle shared by thousands of individuals pursuing a healthier self.

Good for Life:
Keeping a Life Coach in your life places an anchor you can rely on. A Life Coach can be the outlet, the mentor, the guide you wish to walk along side you for as long as you decide.

It brings people back to reality:
If you've found yourself floating away into oblivion, Life Coaching grants a sense of grounding. When you have someone that understands your thoughts, desires, and needs, you begin to find a state of centering revolving around the MyLifeCoach sessions.

It’s can provide freedom:
Maybe not freedom from binge watching The Walking Dead, but it does provide alleviation. Having a safe space to dialogue also means you find freedom in sharing what you may not be able to share elsewhere. Because your supervisor doesn't want to hear about your family issues, and your friends just want to socialize.

You can establish yourself as a thought leader:
This means you can become in control of your self, your thoughts, and your future. Sure we can't control the weather or predict lottery numbers. However, what MyLifeCoachSession can do is build people up to find their strength and fight of their fears. All in hope of attaining a more solid identity.

Already have a Life Coach? What would you add to the list?