Geries Shaheen • March 8, 2019

Death's Remnant

*If you have recently lost someone, please be cautious reading this article.

It happens so quickly, and in so many different ways. One thing is similar in all accounts of death though, they end, and we keep going. At least, we keep going to some degree. We may keep breathing, but feel stuck in an empty life without the person.

Yet, for others, it may be a celebration. No more pain, or having lived a full life. Some deaths are more horrid than others. Some leave a tinge of confusing emotions. Remnants of guilt, despair, pain, fear, and even anger. These are the deaths that leave a chilling void in our hearts. They leave us begging to let go, but screaming to hold on.

This is the wife of the husband who was found on the bottom of the stairs with a knife in his chest.

The sister of the lonely aunt who left her dress shoes at the lake dock before drowning herself.

The mother of the son who overdosed one last time.

The children of the mother taken too soon by depression.

The accounts hold many different details, many different shades. They carry many different reasons to end up feeling a high degree of hopelessness.

Hopelessness is a very real emotion. It holds a dangerous formula. Hopelessness is humanities oldest trick. Without a strong anchor, hopelessness projects the depths of the lost ones emotion and washes it over the person left grieving. Its like a mental cancer. The classic label of copy cat suicides is based off this experience.

The truth about hopelessness is that it is only valid when we choose to not reach for other emotions. It becomes all encompassing, all consuming when we let it grow, and squeeze out any room for other emotions. We find ourselves projecting the death of a loved one onto ourselves and often our higher power. This leaves our identities, and our faith shattered.

A counseling supervisor once told me "Feelings are very real, but they don't have to define reality.". I have let that phrase swim in my mind daily. Why? Because the more I repeat it, the more I grow aware of my existence. The more control I gain over my emotive responses.

It is true, we have the ability to regulate our emotions, to practice distress tolerance, and even erase complete memories out of our mind, but how does that help us process the occurrence? It doesn't! There is no perfect choice for how to process death, or work through grief. There is no timeline, there are no real rules. Which makes the engagement so much more difficult for beings who feed off of clarity and data.

At the end of the day, it is not a therapists responsibility to persuade clients to desire healing, or process death.

If a therapist can persuade a client to desire healing, it means the client can also be persuaded by someone/ something else to desire destruction. Only the client can desire true healing. And they may not want it yet!

The client may find their symptoms familiar, oddly satisfying, or very natural to their grieving process. Often times symptoms of stress do not have to translate as self harm or suicide. While it is not a therapists role to persuade healing, we can implement assessments, offer coping skills, and develop safety plans.

"I'm feeling hopeless" is a phrase that is commonly expressed. A client must ask themselves "What will validate and ensure that this feeling of hopelessness will stay forever? The answer is nothing. Reasons given can be understandable, but they do not have to be true. Humanity gives reason for almost everything. We figure out how things work, and why things happen.

With mental health it is a little more complicated. We may say "I'm feeling hopeless because my wife passed away." which later becomes "I'm hopeless because I'm meaningless without her." which even later becomes "I'm hopeless because now life has no meaning.". What initially was a blanket statement turns out to be a layered thought concept, sourced in untruth.

We tend to avoid our responsibility of working away from hopelessness, we naturally desire positivism to happen to us. We tell ourselves these lies:

"I will only be hopeful when I experience hope and positivism."

"If I don't have the understanding to this negative experience, then the understanding / data does not exist."

We hold on to pain/ fear/ anger because it is the quickest method of filling the void and granting definition to something otherwise confusing and lacking data. We are great at avoidance, and even better at projection. We find ourselves jumping into the pits of despair without a helmet, without armor, without a shield, without accountability. Then we scream at the face of darkness because of how much it hurts.

How then can we be empowered by the remnants of death, the unfinished business of souls departed, the leftover emotions, loose ends, and painful renditions of bygone memories?

Fritz Perls coined a method called the "Empty Chair", and boy is it powerful. Its a simple practice, conducted in session that provides space and time for closing the chapters of past pain. The client is prompted to envision their loved one sitting in the chair next to them and discuss, argue, release their emotions. The process is much more in depth and time consuming than I've written it out to be.

Throughout this process the client can lean on personal truth statements / beliefs, living each day in righteousness (meaning the person lives in a way beneficial to their wellness and the wellness of those around them), promoting peace, practicing their faith, offering themselves opportunities of salvation away from negativity and into positivism. Lastly, carrying a soothing spirit- exhibiting gentleness, kindness, self control, among other attributes.

These are in no way 'musts' in experiencing the death of others, but they can be power movements away from hopelessness. Have you found yourself processing through grief? What has helped? I would love to know!

*The examples used in this post are fictitious and not intended to represent any real person or case study.

Geries Shaheen is a Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries teaches psych classes as an Adjunct at Saint Louis Christian College and offers Adolescent/ Family Therapy through Preferred Family Healthcare . Geries holds his BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University. Holding a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online throughout the nation

Pioneer Counseling Blog

Navigating Change in 2026 with Resilience and Hope

By Geries Shaheen • January 3, 2026
January invites reflection. In 2026, whether you’re a clinician supporting others or a client investing in your own healing, one truth remains constant: change is inevitable—but growth is intentional. The way we engage with change shapes outcomes more than the change itself. While mental health frameworks, technologies, and conversations continue to evolve, the core of healing remains deeply human—rooted in connection, meaning, and courage. The Bigger Picture: A Need That’s Real, and Hopeful Mental health challenges are widespread, yet the story does not end there. Globally, over 1 billion people live with a mental health condition. In the United States, nearly 1 in 4 adults experienced a mental health concern in the past year. At the same time, recent data shows improvements in youth mental health, including reductions in major depressive episodes and suicidal ideation. These numbers tell a dual story: the need is significant, and progress is possible. For Clinicians: Where Science Meets Presence We practice at the intersection of evidence and empathy. Recent trends show that more than half of adults with mental health conditions are now receiving treatment, and nearly 70% of individuals with serious mental illness are accessing care. Additionally, close to nine out of ten people who engage in therapy report meaningful improvements in their lives. What this reinforces in 2026: Evidence-based modalities matter, but how they are delivered matters just as much. Emotional safety is not optional; it is foundational. Small, often quiet gains are still powerful indicators of change. Progress does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like a client naming an emotion more clearly, setting a boundary, or returning after a difficult week. These moments count. For Clients: Your Healing Is Not a Performance If you are in therapy, or considering it, these truths are worth holding onto this year: You are not behind. Healing has no universal timeline. Your voice matters. Therapy works best when your values and lived experience shape the process. Progress is rarely linear. Growth often includes pauses, detours, and revisiting old ground with new insight. Therapy is not about becoming a different person. It is about becoming more fully yourself. The data supports this: the vast majority of people who engage in counseling report improvements in confidence, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. A Shared Journey Forward Clinicians and clients are not on opposite sides of the work, we are collaborators in a shared human process. Hope in 2026 is not blind optimism. It is grounded in effort, connection, and skill-building. It shows up in sessions that feel hard but honest, in moments of insight that arrive quietly, and in the courage to keep showing up. As this year unfolds, may healing feel attainable, growth feel sustainable, and change feel less overwhelming. One intentional step at a time. Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a TIC lens.

DBT Nightmare Protocol

By Geries Shaheen • March 25, 2023
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the 1980s to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD). DBT combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and emphasizes acceptance and validation of intense emotions. It involves weekly individual and group therapy sessions, where individuals learn specific skills related to mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. DBT has since been adapted to treat a range of mental health conditions and is recognized as an evidence-based treatment. DBT has been proven effective in treating a wide range of mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, substance abuse, and eating disorders. One of the key components of DBT is the use of specific protocols to address common issues that clients may experience. One of these protocols is the DBT Nightmare Protocol, which is designed to help individuals who are experiencing recurring nightmares. Nightmares are a common experience for many people, and they can be particularly distressing for individuals who have experienced trauma. In fact, nightmares are a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and they can be a significant barrier to healing for individuals who are struggling with this condition. The DBT Nightmare Protocol was developed to help these individuals manage their nightmares and reduce their overall distress. The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a 10-week protocol that is designed to help individuals learn to manage their nightmares through a combination of behavioral strategies and cognitive techniques. The protocol is typically conducted in a group setting, although it can also be done on an individual basis. The following is an overview of the different components of the DBT Nightmare Protocol. Week 1: Psychoeducation The first week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is dedicated to psychoeducation. During this week, the therapist will provide information about nightmares and the impact they can have on mental health. Clients will also learn about the common triggers for nightmares and the different ways in which nightmares can be managed. Week 2: Sleep Hygiene During the second week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about sleep hygiene. This includes information about the importance of getting enough sleep, as well as strategies for improving sleep quality. Clients will also learn about the relationship between sleep and nightmares, and they will be provided with specific strategies for reducing the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. Week 3: Imagery Rehearsal Therapy Imagery rehearsal therapy (IRT) is a technique that is commonly used to treat nightmares. During the third week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about IRT and how it can be used to reduce the frequency and intensity of nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice IRT techniques with the guidance of their therapist. In IRT, your therapist first provides you with background information on sleep and nightmares to "set the scene" for learning to manage them. Then, working with your therapist, you create detailed, nonfrightening endings for nightmares you've had repeatedly. Write down and rehearse the nightmares with the new endings. Learn how to monitor your nightmares so you know how well your IRT treatment is working. The goal is to "reprogram" your nightmares to be less terrifying if and when they occur again. Week 4: Mindfulness Mindfulness is a key component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fourth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about mindfulness and how it can be used to manage anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Week 5: Progressive Muscle Relaxation Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a relaxation technique that involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body. This technique can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fifth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about PMR and how it can be used to reduce the intensity of nightmares. Week 6: Cognitive Restructuring Cognitive restructuring is a technique that is used to challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs. During the sixth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about cognitive restructuring and how it can be used to challenge negative beliefs and thoughts that contribute to nightmares. People sometimes experience distorted thinking. Thought patterns that create an unhealthy perspective of reality. Cognitive distortions often lead to depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and self-defeating behaviors. Examples of cognitive distortions include: black-and-white thinking catastrophizing overgeneralizing personalizing Cognitive restructuring allows you to notice these maladaptive thoughts as they’re occurring. And then practice reframing these thoughts in more accurate ways. During this step, you will question your assumptions, gather evidence by self-monitoring on a daily basis, and perform cost-benefit various analyses. If you can change how you look at certain events or circumstances, your feelings and the actions you take may also change. Week 7: Graded Exposure Graded exposure is a technique that involves gradually exposing oneself to a feared situation or object. During the seventh week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about graded exposure and how it can be used to reduce the fear associated with nightmares. Week 8: Relaxation Training Relaxation training is a technique that involves teaching individuals to relax their bodies and minds. During the eighth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about relaxation training and how it can be used to reduce anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice relaxation techniques with the guidance of their therapist. Week 9: Self-Compassion Self-compassion is an important component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who have experienced trauma. During the ninth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about self-compassion and how it can be used to reduce self-criticism and self-blame associated with nightmares. Week 10: Relapse Prevention The final week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is focused on relapse prevention. During this week, clients will learn about the different strategies they can use to maintain the progress they have made in managing their nightmares. They will also be encouraged to develop a plan for how they will continue to manage their nightmares after the end of the protocol. The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a comprehensive and effective approach to managing nightmares. By incorporating a range of behavioral and cognitive strategies, clients are able to learn the skills they need to reduce the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. If you are experiencing nightmares, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who is trained in DBT to see if the DBT Nightmare Protocol is right for you. Unsure about adapting DBT into your framework? -A randomized controlled trial of DBT for suicidal and self-injuring individuals with BPD found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors (Linehan et al., 2006). -A meta-analysis of 11 randomized controlled trials of DBT for individuals with BPD found that DBT was effective in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors, as well as other symptoms of BPD, such as depression and anxiety (Kliem et al., 2010). -A randomized controlled trial of DBT for individuals with binge eating disorder found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing binge eating and improving eating disorder-related attitudes and behaviors (Safer et al., 2010). -A review of 17 studies of DBT for individuals with substance use disorders found that DBT was effective in reducing substance use and improving overall functioning (Linehan et al., 2002). Overall, research suggests that DBT is an effective treatment for a range of mental health conditions, including BPD, eating disorders, substance use disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is worth noting that the effectiveness of DBT can vary depending on individual factors, such as the severity of symptoms and the level of treatment adherence. Perhaps you are a private practice in the mental health industry, or maybe a large agency trying to get your clinicians on the same page regarding Trauma Informed Care. Consider the Pioneer Counseling Trauma Informed Care Psychotherapy Tx Planner. It really is more than a tx planner, it is a guide and a point of reference. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ9FWFMT?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_0MKBDBQ5PRD8G8NBEJ0B No alt text provided for this image Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a Trauma Informed Care lens.e body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.
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