Prayer & Counseling
We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.
~ Oswald Chambers
There comes much discernmen
t when discussing spiritual elements within counseling. There must exist the ability to read the client and be open to opportunities that grant time for prayer and/or spiritual/religious dialogue. Listening for opportunities for prayer and suggesting it when appropriate is the most beneficial path.
There are times when prayer may be detrimental
to the counseling process. Perhaps the client was sexually abused by his pastor. Maybe the client was forced to pray for hours on end as a child in a psychologically abusive manner. What if an introverted client never learned how to pray and never returns to counseling due to embarrassment or fear? Whatever the case may be, as counselors, we must meet people where they are, not where we desire them to be. So, then, there cannot be room for assumptions in sessions.
So are therapists spiritual leaders, guides, both, or neither?
It depends on many factors
including; the client’s desires, the client’s needs, the therapeutic alliance, the client’s walk of life, the therapist’s theoretical background and skill set, among other things.
If the client truly leads the session
with the aid of the counselor and the influence of the Holy Spirit, then it is the client’s space to do what he feels comfortable with and is legally and ethically permissible to do.
While some would say
prayer, no matter what, is to be pushed (1 Timothy 2:8) I would say this is a good example of 'all or nothing' thinking. Have you ever tried giving a cat a bath? Remember, the client’s mood, thoughts, and attitudes are not yours to control. Pushing a bias or agenda won't allow the client to have 'buy-in' and therefore will hamper the counseling process.
Being a Christian, at times you may feel the Spirit leading
you to say, "Would you be open to prayer?" That is when beautiful opportunities arise. (Romans 8:26) It may not always happen. There can be a time and place for routine prayer: church, mealtime, etc. In your own life, you are in control of how and when those happen. (Matthew 6:6, Pslam 18:6,)
Scripture gives us insight as to when and how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13) but eventually, being human, we are the ones who will make our own choices. To take a person’s decision-making ability away from him would discredit his own strength and journey. It would be going against ethical guidelines. Part of the story includes making sure the client is autonomous.
What’s the difference between prayer and meditation?
I am always open to prayer. I most often will ask if prayer is needed within session. Personally I am uncomfortable with (bound by Scripture not to) praying to a deity other than my own. I am, however, open to practices of self-rejuvenation such as meditation or yoga if they do not oppress my own beliefs.
This becomes then a matter of the mind, and common sense.
If I'm meditating
, I am not emptying my mind. Instead I will be filling my mind with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8, Pslam 19:14)). Usually that filters down to be Jesus.
Within prayer, we must ask, "Who or what is the source?"
I can pray alongside individuals of other faiths , but do not necessarily have to pray with said person. To clarify, I can pray alongside others, without having to pray to the same source as them. When this concept is understood, the client-counselor therapeutic alliance becomes much stronger. There no longer exists a false notion of dependency or mental vagueness of ideologies. (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)
Our sources do not need to be the same in order for me to render services, care, empathy, and guidance to that person.
The same goes in counseling
. If an individual of another faith or belief system requests to pray within session, they are free to do so.
I am also free in the same regard to pray alongside them to my deity, but not with them to theirs.
As our global community begins to move
from a physical and tangible expression of beliefs to one that is cognizant and eternal, counselors will find themselves assessing their own boundaries of spirituality and religious guidance within sessions. At what point does one individual end and another begin within the therapeutic alliance?
What will it take to meet clients at the metacognitive level?
Geries Shaheen is a Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries teaches psych classes as an Adjunct at Saint Louis Christian College and offers Adolescent/ Family Therapy through Preferred Family Healthcare . Geries holds his BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University. Holding a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online throughout the nation.
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