Geries Shaheen • July 22, 2019

Ruined & Abandoned

We all run into the issue of feeling broken , not being able to see value in ourselves. We may feel like there is no other way of experiencing life. Or even wanting to feel numb, not wanting feelings altogether. Feeling worthless, seeing limitations in life, feeling without option. These thoughts and feelings are not new. Some of the most renowned individuals have experienced feelings of ruin and abandonment.

Those closest to President Abraham Lincoln described him to exhibit profound sadness and even suicidal thoughts, labeling it as “melancholy.” He would at times experience anxiety attacks.

Vincent Van Gogh was reported to have unstable moods and suffered from recurrent psychotic episodes.

Charles Darwin very seldom left home and lived as a recluse.

Charles Dickens was believed to have suffered from severe depression.

Winston Churchill named his depression the “black dog”. He would experience bouts of reoccurring depression.

It’s truly astonishing how mental health continues to hold a stigma. We continue to be shocked at the horrors of our communities. Shootings, drugs, abuse, suicide, all of these things continue to occur and statistically rise yet we find difficulty in collectively addressing the issues until they become epidemics.

For those of us that get it, and see mental health as something to manage, process and appreciate, here are a few considerations in times of struggle.

  • Remember, the body goes through a chemical change on average every 15- 30 minutes. It regulates and processes fluctuations. Ps, that’s why breathing helps.
  • Thoughts we have during these times of high chemical imbalances come from distortions, not full truthful realities about one’s self. It’s important to trust something external and larger than one’s self during these times. Having these anchors of truth keep our identity grounded.
  • Experience or discomfort of spatial and mental singularity (loneliness) tends to leave us feeling hopeless/ helpless. When we run into this, try to think back as early as your grade school. What have been areas of life that you have mastered? Reflection of the skills you’ve mastered and people you have connected with will naturally bring a balance to feeling isolated. It could also provide a meaningful sense of awareness to skills you may still need to attain. Reviewing Erickson’s stages of psychosocial development can be a great way to filter and assess one’s own virtues and lackings.
  • During these times, we may witness our support system begin to break down. People who we always felt we could trust might not surface when you need them most. If that’s the case, vilifying them won’t make matters any better. Starting from grace always gives us a sensible and wise path. We can develop and explore a larger support system. Doing this will test our resourcefulness and strengthen our decision-making skills.

“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but ‘steal’ some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”

-Albert Camus

While these may be great options and steps, they do not take away the fact that you must walk through it, because ignoring it doesn’t work. Ignoring opportunities for growth and battling internal opposition is what truly destroys us. Apathy is a silent assassin.

I recall a trip where I visited ruins of ancient churches . Churches listed in the Bible, in Revelation. Driving or walking past these sites, you wouldn’t have known they were of any importance. Some were more off the beaten path than others.

These ruins had commonality . Although they each may have had their unique origin stories, had families and leaders, and even generations of stories, they all ended up looking the same. They were all in ruin. They were all abandoned. They were in a state of rubble, laid to waste.

I’ve never been a believer of coincidence. I believe patterns and experiences occur for purposeful reasons. Seeing this rubble was a physical representation of humanity. Showing how iterations of us continue to grow from older versions of ourselves. While our bodies may feel broken, our spirit can continue our story. In times when our spirit may feel pained, our mind can persevere. If our mind is in confusion, our heart can lead the way. We adapt, we grow.

In the realm of developmental psychology , Lev Vygotsky is a name that is studied frequently. Vygotsky defined a theory of cognitive development stressing the role of instruction and guidance. Lev coined the phrase “Zone of proximal development”. This is a cognitive range between what a child can do on their own and what they can do with the help of adults or others more skilled than themselves.

This theory holds a presupposition . It assumes a range between what we can do on our own, and what we’re capable of doing with the help of others. If we isolate our existence; meaning if we isolate how our life balances itself, we do not give it the opportunity to strengthen.

Lies that tell us we are inferior when we struggle , or that our identity is “wicked” and thus worthless when we don’t live up to standards, these distortions keep us limited. They keep us in a controlled environment.

The truth is, in any single situation there exists thousands of realities and perspectives. Experiencing them (or allowing our mind to accept them) is a matter of choice, pure raw and unconditional choice. Having resources, support, and access to choice provides freedom.

Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Adjunct Psych professor at Saint Louis Christian College. Quality Management Specialist at Preferred Family Healthcare. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally


Pioneer Counseling Blog

Navigating Change in 2026 with Resilience and Hope

By Geries Shaheen • January 3, 2026
January invites reflection. In 2026, whether you’re a clinician supporting others or a client investing in your own healing, one truth remains constant: change is inevitable—but growth is intentional. The way we engage with change shapes outcomes more than the change itself. While mental health frameworks, technologies, and conversations continue to evolve, the core of healing remains deeply human—rooted in connection, meaning, and courage. The Bigger Picture: A Need That’s Real, and Hopeful Mental health challenges are widespread, yet the story does not end there. Globally, over 1 billion people live with a mental health condition. In the United States, nearly 1 in 4 adults experienced a mental health concern in the past year. At the same time, recent data shows improvements in youth mental health, including reductions in major depressive episodes and suicidal ideation. These numbers tell a dual story: the need is significant, and progress is possible. For Clinicians: Where Science Meets Presence We practice at the intersection of evidence and empathy. Recent trends show that more than half of adults with mental health conditions are now receiving treatment, and nearly 70% of individuals with serious mental illness are accessing care. Additionally, close to nine out of ten people who engage in therapy report meaningful improvements in their lives. What this reinforces in 2026: Evidence-based modalities matter, but how they are delivered matters just as much. Emotional safety is not optional; it is foundational. Small, often quiet gains are still powerful indicators of change. Progress does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like a client naming an emotion more clearly, setting a boundary, or returning after a difficult week. These moments count. For Clients: Your Healing Is Not a Performance If you are in therapy, or considering it, these truths are worth holding onto this year: You are not behind. Healing has no universal timeline. Your voice matters. Therapy works best when your values and lived experience shape the process. Progress is rarely linear. Growth often includes pauses, detours, and revisiting old ground with new insight. Therapy is not about becoming a different person. It is about becoming more fully yourself. The data supports this: the vast majority of people who engage in counseling report improvements in confidence, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. A Shared Journey Forward Clinicians and clients are not on opposite sides of the work, we are collaborators in a shared human process. Hope in 2026 is not blind optimism. It is grounded in effort, connection, and skill-building. It shows up in sessions that feel hard but honest, in moments of insight that arrive quietly, and in the courage to keep showing up. As this year unfolds, may healing feel attainable, growth feel sustainable, and change feel less overwhelming. One intentional step at a time. Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a TIC lens.

DBT Nightmare Protocol

By Geries Shaheen • March 25, 2023
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the 1980s to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD). DBT combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and emphasizes acceptance and validation of intense emotions. It involves weekly individual and group therapy sessions, where individuals learn specific skills related to mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. DBT has since been adapted to treat a range of mental health conditions and is recognized as an evidence-based treatment. DBT has been proven effective in treating a wide range of mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, substance abuse, and eating disorders. One of the key components of DBT is the use of specific protocols to address common issues that clients may experience. One of these protocols is the DBT Nightmare Protocol, which is designed to help individuals who are experiencing recurring nightmares. Nightmares are a common experience for many people, and they can be particularly distressing for individuals who have experienced trauma. In fact, nightmares are a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and they can be a significant barrier to healing for individuals who are struggling with this condition. The DBT Nightmare Protocol was developed to help these individuals manage their nightmares and reduce their overall distress. The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a 10-week protocol that is designed to help individuals learn to manage their nightmares through a combination of behavioral strategies and cognitive techniques. The protocol is typically conducted in a group setting, although it can also be done on an individual basis. The following is an overview of the different components of the DBT Nightmare Protocol. Week 1: Psychoeducation The first week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is dedicated to psychoeducation. During this week, the therapist will provide information about nightmares and the impact they can have on mental health. Clients will also learn about the common triggers for nightmares and the different ways in which nightmares can be managed. Week 2: Sleep Hygiene During the second week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about sleep hygiene. This includes information about the importance of getting enough sleep, as well as strategies for improving sleep quality. Clients will also learn about the relationship between sleep and nightmares, and they will be provided with specific strategies for reducing the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. Week 3: Imagery Rehearsal Therapy Imagery rehearsal therapy (IRT) is a technique that is commonly used to treat nightmares. During the third week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about IRT and how it can be used to reduce the frequency and intensity of nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice IRT techniques with the guidance of their therapist. In IRT, your therapist first provides you with background information on sleep and nightmares to "set the scene" for learning to manage them. Then, working with your therapist, you create detailed, nonfrightening endings for nightmares you've had repeatedly. Write down and rehearse the nightmares with the new endings. Learn how to monitor your nightmares so you know how well your IRT treatment is working. The goal is to "reprogram" your nightmares to be less terrifying if and when they occur again. Week 4: Mindfulness Mindfulness is a key component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fourth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about mindfulness and how it can be used to manage anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Week 5: Progressive Muscle Relaxation Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a relaxation technique that involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body. This technique can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fifth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about PMR and how it can be used to reduce the intensity of nightmares. Week 6: Cognitive Restructuring Cognitive restructuring is a technique that is used to challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs. During the sixth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about cognitive restructuring and how it can be used to challenge negative beliefs and thoughts that contribute to nightmares. People sometimes experience distorted thinking. Thought patterns that create an unhealthy perspective of reality. Cognitive distortions often lead to depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and self-defeating behaviors. Examples of cognitive distortions include: black-and-white thinking catastrophizing overgeneralizing personalizing Cognitive restructuring allows you to notice these maladaptive thoughts as they’re occurring. And then practice reframing these thoughts in more accurate ways. During this step, you will question your assumptions, gather evidence by self-monitoring on a daily basis, and perform cost-benefit various analyses. If you can change how you look at certain events or circumstances, your feelings and the actions you take may also change. Week 7: Graded Exposure Graded exposure is a technique that involves gradually exposing oneself to a feared situation or object. During the seventh week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about graded exposure and how it can be used to reduce the fear associated with nightmares. Week 8: Relaxation Training Relaxation training is a technique that involves teaching individuals to relax their bodies and minds. During the eighth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about relaxation training and how it can be used to reduce anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice relaxation techniques with the guidance of their therapist. Week 9: Self-Compassion Self-compassion is an important component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who have experienced trauma. During the ninth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about self-compassion and how it can be used to reduce self-criticism and self-blame associated with nightmares. Week 10: Relapse Prevention The final week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is focused on relapse prevention. During this week, clients will learn about the different strategies they can use to maintain the progress they have made in managing their nightmares. They will also be encouraged to develop a plan for how they will continue to manage their nightmares after the end of the protocol. The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a comprehensive and effective approach to managing nightmares. By incorporating a range of behavioral and cognitive strategies, clients are able to learn the skills they need to reduce the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. If you are experiencing nightmares, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who is trained in DBT to see if the DBT Nightmare Protocol is right for you. Unsure about adapting DBT into your framework? -A randomized controlled trial of DBT for suicidal and self-injuring individuals with BPD found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors (Linehan et al., 2006). -A meta-analysis of 11 randomized controlled trials of DBT for individuals with BPD found that DBT was effective in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors, as well as other symptoms of BPD, such as depression and anxiety (Kliem et al., 2010). -A randomized controlled trial of DBT for individuals with binge eating disorder found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing binge eating and improving eating disorder-related attitudes and behaviors (Safer et al., 2010). -A review of 17 studies of DBT for individuals with substance use disorders found that DBT was effective in reducing substance use and improving overall functioning (Linehan et al., 2002). Overall, research suggests that DBT is an effective treatment for a range of mental health conditions, including BPD, eating disorders, substance use disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is worth noting that the effectiveness of DBT can vary depending on individual factors, such as the severity of symptoms and the level of treatment adherence. Perhaps you are a private practice in the mental health industry, or maybe a large agency trying to get your clinicians on the same page regarding Trauma Informed Care. Consider the Pioneer Counseling Trauma Informed Care Psychotherapy Tx Planner. It really is more than a tx planner, it is a guide and a point of reference. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ9FWFMT?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_0MKBDBQ5PRD8G8NBEJ0B No alt text provided for this image Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a Trauma Informed Care lens.e body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.
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