Geries Shaheen • April 19, 2016
The Roads We Choose & The Ones That Chose Us - by Marija Rizoska
Ever wonder how our life changes, or look back and wonder when it changed, or what happened that led you to the place where are you now? What were the decisions and choices you made that changed your path and brought you to this spot? If you can backtrack that path in your heart, can you go back to a particular crossroads to choose again?
As human beings we go through life thinking and working towards a better future, by default. We have a dream, goal or aim we want to achieve, and we want every little step we take to lead us in that direction. We have expectations about the outcomes we imagine. But often, somewhere along the way, an unexpected thing happens and changes our life. Sometimes, this unexpected thing and the changes it brings are terrible and frightening.
One moment you are standing on firm ground in this thing called life, and the next it feels like a hurricane swept you up and threw you somewhere far away. In this new, far off, unfamiliar land, you don’t know where to go or how to return to the firm ground you knew before. This land is dark and painful. At moments it feels like you have hit rock bottom, or fallen into the inferno. All of the problems you had before now seem small and unimportant. It is remarkable how we often go day in and day out carrying stress over so many things, situations and people--until something big happens and changes our perspective.
I have been through this hurricane. My way back from the dark land was long and painful. I sometimes feel that my journey back is still not over (and may never truly be over), but I am proud of myself for the distance I have traveled and what I have learned on the way.The amazing thing about this dark place is that, as painful and lonely as it is for you, you often cannot see it for what it is. People around you see it, your loved ones and friends that visit you see it, but you are consumed with so much pain that you can not see that there is a brighter world beyond your dark island. Many times, your friends and family do not know how to reach through the fog to help you. You welcome them when they visit, but their visits feel surreal: like you are watching your own funeral where they have only come to express their condolences. Your emotional pain is so big and the journey back is so long that you become numb. Your tears roll down your cheeks, there is a wedge of despair lodged in your throat that you can neither swallow nor spit out. It never leaves. And some days you find yourself in a fetal position on the floor agonizing over where on that path you took the wrong turn that trapped you in this place.The truth is that sometimes in life things happen without you making a wrong turn at all. Unpredictable things that change our lives forever can happen without notice or explanation. Death, illness, break-ups, job loss. Sometimes the hurricane needs no external cause at all; a switch just flips inside you. You are left wondering in an endless loop: WHY? Why this? Why me? Why now?You can search the answer scientifically, spiritually, anywhere and everywhere. Life will prove to you again and again that this journey you are going through holds lessons for you. These lessons will ease the pain, and help make sense out of it. I am here to help you find the lessons you are meant to learn, and help guide you back into the light. You just need to keep moving forward. The lessons for each person are different: I can't tell you in advance what your lessons will be, but I can certainly help you not to walk your journey alone!
Trust your journey no matter how painful it is, have faith that in time it will lead you to a brighter place, and this pain you are going through will benefit you!
XX,
M
Marija Rizoska holds a MA in professional counseling and provides counseling to individuals in English, Macedonian, Serbian, Bulgarian, Bosnian and Croatian. Marija holds a certificate in Life Coaching. Marija honored her skills at Lindenwood University and refined them through a research program at Washington University in St. Louis.
Pioneer Counseling Blog
January invites reflection. In 2026, whether you’re a clinician supporting others or a client investing in your own healing, one truth remains constant: change is inevitable—but growth is intentional. The way we engage with change shapes outcomes more than the change itself. While mental health frameworks, technologies, and conversations continue to evolve, the core of healing remains deeply human—rooted in connection, meaning, and courage. The Bigger Picture: A Need That’s Real, and Hopeful Mental health challenges are widespread, yet the story does not end there. Globally, over 1 billion people live with a mental health condition. In the United States, nearly 1 in 4 adults experienced a mental health concern in the past year. At the same time, recent data shows improvements in youth mental health, including reductions in major depressive episodes and suicidal ideation. These numbers tell a dual story: the need is significant, and progress is possible. For Clinicians: Where Science Meets Presence We practice at the intersection of evidence and empathy. Recent trends show that more than half of adults with mental health conditions are now receiving treatment, and nearly 70% of individuals with serious mental illness are accessing care. Additionally, close to nine out of ten people who engage in therapy report meaningful improvements in their lives. What this reinforces in 2026: Evidence-based modalities matter, but how they are delivered matters just as much. Emotional safety is not optional; it is foundational. Small, often quiet gains are still powerful indicators of change. Progress does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like a client naming an emotion more clearly, setting a boundary, or returning after a difficult week. These moments count. For Clients: Your Healing Is Not a Performance If you are in therapy, or considering it, these truths are worth holding onto this year: You are not behind. Healing has no universal timeline. Your voice matters. Therapy works best when your values and lived experience shape the process. Progress is rarely linear. Growth often includes pauses, detours, and revisiting old ground with new insight. Therapy is not about becoming a different person. It is about becoming more fully yourself. The data supports this: the vast majority of people who engage in counseling report improvements in confidence, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. A Shared Journey Forward Clinicians and clients are not on opposite sides of the work, we are collaborators in a shared human process. Hope in 2026 is not blind optimism. It is grounded in effort, connection, and skill-building. It shows up in sessions that feel hard but honest, in moments of insight that arrive quietly, and in the courage to keep showing up. As this year unfolds, may healing feel attainable, growth feel sustainable, and change feel less overwhelming. One intentional step at a time. Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a TIC lens.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the 1980s to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD). DBT combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and emphasizes acceptance and validation of intense emotions. It involves weekly individual and group therapy sessions, where individuals learn specific skills related to mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. DBT has since been adapted to treat a range of mental health conditions and is recognized as an evidence-based treatment. DBT has been proven effective in treating a wide range of mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder, substance abuse, and eating disorders. One of the key components of DBT is the use of specific protocols to address common issues that clients may experience. One of these protocols is the DBT Nightmare Protocol, which is designed to help individuals who are experiencing recurring nightmares. Nightmares are a common experience for many people, and they can be particularly distressing for individuals who have experienced trauma. In fact, nightmares are a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and they can be a significant barrier to healing for individuals who are struggling with this condition. The DBT Nightmare Protocol was developed to help these individuals manage their nightmares and reduce their overall distress. The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a 10-week protocol that is designed to help individuals learn to manage their nightmares through a combination of behavioral strategies and cognitive techniques. The protocol is typically conducted in a group setting, although it can also be done on an individual basis. The following is an overview of the different components of the DBT Nightmare Protocol. Week 1: Psychoeducation The first week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is dedicated to psychoeducation. During this week, the therapist will provide information about nightmares and the impact they can have on mental health. Clients will also learn about the common triggers for nightmares and the different ways in which nightmares can be managed. Week 2: Sleep Hygiene During the second week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about sleep hygiene. This includes information about the importance of getting enough sleep, as well as strategies for improving sleep quality. Clients will also learn about the relationship between sleep and nightmares, and they will be provided with specific strategies for reducing the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. Week 3: Imagery Rehearsal Therapy Imagery rehearsal therapy (IRT) is a technique that is commonly used to treat nightmares. During the third week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about IRT and how it can be used to reduce the frequency and intensity of nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice IRT techniques with the guidance of their therapist. In IRT, your therapist first provides you with background information on sleep and nightmares to "set the scene" for learning to manage them. Then, working with your therapist, you create detailed, nonfrightening endings for nightmares you've had repeatedly. Write down and rehearse the nightmares with the new endings. Learn how to monitor your nightmares so you know how well your IRT treatment is working. The goal is to "reprogram" your nightmares to be less terrifying if and when they occur again. Week 4: Mindfulness Mindfulness is a key component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fourth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about mindfulness and how it can be used to manage anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Week 5: Progressive Muscle Relaxation Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a relaxation technique that involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body. This technique can be particularly helpful for individuals who are experiencing nightmares. During the fifth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about PMR and how it can be used to reduce the intensity of nightmares. Week 6: Cognitive Restructuring Cognitive restructuring is a technique that is used to challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs. During the sixth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about cognitive restructuring and how it can be used to challenge negative beliefs and thoughts that contribute to nightmares. People sometimes experience distorted thinking. Thought patterns that create an unhealthy perspective of reality. Cognitive distortions often lead to depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and self-defeating behaviors. Examples of cognitive distortions include: black-and-white thinking catastrophizing overgeneralizing personalizing Cognitive restructuring allows you to notice these maladaptive thoughts as they’re occurring. And then practice reframing these thoughts in more accurate ways. During this step, you will question your assumptions, gather evidence by self-monitoring on a daily basis, and perform cost-benefit various analyses. If you can change how you look at certain events or circumstances, your feelings and the actions you take may also change. Week 7: Graded Exposure Graded exposure is a technique that involves gradually exposing oneself to a feared situation or object. During the seventh week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about graded exposure and how it can be used to reduce the fear associated with nightmares. Week 8: Relaxation Training Relaxation training is a technique that involves teaching individuals to relax their bodies and minds. During the eighth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about relaxation training and how it can be used to reduce anxiety and other symptoms associated with nightmares. Clients will also have the opportunity to practice relaxation techniques with the guidance of their therapist. Week 9: Self-Compassion Self-compassion is an important component of DBT, and it can be particularly helpful for individuals who have experienced trauma. During the ninth week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol, clients will learn about self-compassion and how it can be used to reduce self-criticism and self-blame associated with nightmares. Week 10: Relapse Prevention The final week of the DBT Nightmare Protocol is focused on relapse prevention. During this week, clients will learn about the different strategies they can use to maintain the progress they have made in managing their nightmares. They will also be encouraged to develop a plan for how they will continue to manage their nightmares after the end of the protocol. The DBT Nightmare Protocol is a comprehensive and effective approach to managing nightmares. By incorporating a range of behavioral and cognitive strategies, clients are able to learn the skills they need to reduce the frequency and intensity of their nightmares. If you are experiencing nightmares, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who is trained in DBT to see if the DBT Nightmare Protocol is right for you. Unsure about adapting DBT into your framework? -A randomized controlled trial of DBT for suicidal and self-injuring individuals with BPD found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors (Linehan et al., 2006). -A meta-analysis of 11 randomized controlled trials of DBT for individuals with BPD found that DBT was effective in reducing suicidal and self-injurious behaviors, as well as other symptoms of BPD, such as depression and anxiety (Kliem et al., 2010). -A randomized controlled trial of DBT for individuals with binge eating disorder found that DBT was more effective than treatment as usual in reducing binge eating and improving eating disorder-related attitudes and behaviors (Safer et al., 2010). -A review of 17 studies of DBT for individuals with substance use disorders found that DBT was effective in reducing substance use and improving overall functioning (Linehan et al., 2002). Overall, research suggests that DBT is an effective treatment for a range of mental health conditions, including BPD, eating disorders, substance use disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is worth noting that the effectiveness of DBT can vary depending on individual factors, such as the severity of symptoms and the level of treatment adherence. Perhaps you are a private practice in the mental health industry, or maybe a large agency trying to get your clinicians on the same page regarding Trauma Informed Care. Consider the Pioneer Counseling Trauma Informed Care Psychotherapy Tx Planner. It really is more than a tx planner, it is a guide and a point of reference. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ9FWFMT?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_0MKBDBQ5PRD8G8NBEJ0B No alt text provided for this image Geries Shaheen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor operating in and around St. Louis Missouri. Geries holds his MA in Professional Counseling from Lindenwood University, BA in Intercultural Studies from Lincoln Christian University, and holds a certificate in Life Coaching, Geries provides life coaching services to clients online globally. Geries is EMDR trained and DBT Certified, practicing from a Trauma Informed Care lens.e body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.
